How to help my DD strengthen relationships with classmates

amother

Sat, Mar 09 2024, 3:04 pm

My 12yo dd is in the first year of middle school. She is the only girl from her elementary school in the class.

There is a girl in the class whose behaviour is very problematic, le't call her Mira. She has been bullying another child in the class and making up lies about them and had also convinced two other girls to join her in bullying this child. The situation has been spoken about in class, the three girls in question have been sent to the principal and their parents called in. Two of the girls realised their mistake but the ringleader has continued with disrespectful behaviour, also towards the teachers and the police have been called once.

My DD is the kind of girl who is friends with everyone but hasn't had a best friend since second grade (this girl moved abroad.) I don't see this as a problem, especially since she has told me she likes and is friends with all the girls in her class, but teachers keep pairing my daughter with Mira. The girls have been put together 4 times now in different subjects, and only once has my daughter worked with a different girl.

Mira came from one of the feeder elementary schools, but in spite of this, none of her former classmates are in this class, so like my DD she didn't know anyone previously.

I feel as if the teachers are trying to pish Mira and my DD together and it is causing the other girls to distance from my DD. My DD isn't the most confident socially at the moment, so she's a bit passive in her interactions with the other girls. I'm wondering how I can help her strengthen the relationship with her classmates.

amother

Pumpkin

Sat, Mar 09 2024, 6:48 pm

Hi, as a teacher my first thought is that your daughter must be a solid girl if she's being paired up with Mira. Her teachers must see that she's strong enough to work together with Mira without being pulled down by Mira's issues.

Is there a form teacher or mechaneches you can speak to? I would think that it might be helpful to let them know that your daughter would benefit from being paired up with other girls in order for them to get to know her better.

It's a very reasonable request as often friendships blossom when students get a chance to work together. The mechaneches may tell you that there is an upcoming show/event/group project and it's a chance for your daughter to be placed with a new group of friendly girls.

Hatzlacha!