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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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beadazzled ↓

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 1:25 pm

My son is in Yeshiva Kol Torah this year. This is his first year in a Lakewood yeshiva as he comes from a more modern orthodox, co-ed background. I am accustomed to a school that is more high-tech, and where many of the mothers are professionals. Women are treated with respect and as equals and are respected by the principal. I have been reaching out to Kol Torah for months, trying to get information about my son's progress reports, specifically in the secular studies. I have been asked to be on the mailing list. I am being completely ignored. It's an absolute disgrace. All I know is that my son has recess 4 times a day and is often "talmid of the week", yet I am not getting any information about his EDUCATION. Have any of you ladies encountered this? Is it customary in more right wing communities like Lakewood for the women to be treated like second class citizens and be completely ignored by the principal and teachers? For people who are supposed to be "frummer",I find the middos are sorely lacking. What a boosha.

amother

Mulberry

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 1:32 pm

I am treated as an equal and respected by my boys school.

No offense but kol torah doesn’t have the best reputation.

amother

Whitesmoke ↓

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 1:34 pm

I don’t think this has anything to do with your gender. My kids schools in Lakewood (both to the right of Kol Torah) have treated me with the utmost respect. I think maybe it may be an administrative issue in the school.

amother

Dill

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 1:38 pm

My boys are not in kol torah. I have neighbors and friends that send their and in many other schools in lakewood. All schools in Lakewood, my sons school as well speak to woman. Either in real life or overvthe phone. My sons yeshiva even let the mothers attend pta. What happened then? Lakewood schools are so hard to get into you are lucky you got in from a coed school. schools are nice here give it a chance before jumping to conclusions

keym

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 2:20 pm

Is there a specific complicated situation?
I send to a very RW yeshiva and Mesivta. I go to PTA. I talk to Rebbeim. Some of them even text me updates. My 2nd grade son's Rebbi insists on speaking to each mother at least once a month.
This is not indicative of all of Lakewood and all RW.
Either it's the specific school or your specific circumstances.

amother

Lime ↓

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 2:24 pm

The women are very much involved in the education of their sons in lakewood. Sounds like a specific issue with the school.

Chayalle ↓

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 2:38 pm

In the community you come from, is it customary to bash an entire community if you have issues with a particular institution?

amother

Dodgerblue

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 2:53 pm

amother

Gladiolus

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 3:36 pm

This school has major issues.

↑ beadazzled ↓

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 10:32 pm

Can someone pm me more info about the issues at kol torah and why it has a bad repuataion? This is very important.

amother

Firethorn

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 10:36 pm

Nope. No issue with my boys schools. My elementary Rebbeim and hanhala are very communicative with parents. Even my ultra Yeshivish mesivta hanhala has PTA for both fathers and mothers and have no problem with me calling and calling me back and communicating about my son.

happytobemom

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 10:37 pm

Chayalle wrote:

In the community you come from, is it customary to bash an entire community if you have issues with a particular institution?

Thank you Chayalle.
Just a like wasn't enough.

↑ beadazzled ↓

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 10:40 pm

amother [ Dill ] wrote:

. I would hardly call it lucky.

amother

↑ Lime ↓

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 10:44 pm

I don't mean to overstep but is this a divorce issue? Perhaps their father told the school not to speak to you?

amother

Canary

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 11:02 pm

As others have said, I send to a more right wing yeshiva than kol Torah, and actually my son's rebbi always calls my cell phone, to give nachas reports or tell me about any issue. He just called this week and I missed his call, so then he called my husband's cell. It has nothing to do with Lakewood or right wing

amother

Mimosa

Fri, Apr 08 2022, 12:17 am

My relative just complained to me that there is no communication in her daughters school.
It is a left wing modern orthodox girls school. She’s reached out numerous times for help, and they’ve been completely negligent.
My own sons right wing Rosh yeshiva, always has time to talk to me.
I can call my sons principals, from pre school through beis midrash, and they will call me back by the next day for sure.
This is more then one school, more then one very right wing yeshivish rebbe and principal.
What is wrong with my relatives modern orthodox school that they are so incompetent and irresponsible? Are they all like that? (she actually is thinking of switching to a more right wing school for next year, she’s so fed up)

↑ beadazzled ↓

Fri, Apr 08 2022, 7:44 am

Just clarifying I am not generalizing Lakewood. I am just wondering as Lakewood is foreign to me and I don't know how things work. I am divorced but have joint legal custody and am 100% entitled to my son's educational information. My ex is an eyd sheker and is spreading false information about me. The school knows I am entitled to information but are ignoring me completely. I would hate to have to go to the media and make a chillul Hashem but desperate times call for desperate measures.

amother

↑ Whitesmoke

Fri, Apr 08 2022, 7:50 am

beadazzled wrote:

The media ?!?!? Because the school isn’t communicating well?
First of all the media will not care about that.
Second of all, I can’t imagine in any religious Jewish community any rav would poskin thats appropriate.

amother

Wheat

Fri, Apr 08 2022, 7:51 am

beadazzled wrote:

my heart goes out to you! what grade is your son in? I may be able to get you his Rebbi or teacher's number

amother

Forestgreen

Fri, Apr 08 2022, 8:22 am

I’m sorry you’re in this situation. You would not be treated this way in another school in Lakewood.

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