Self-esteem | Imamother

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

Self-esteem

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MrsS

Thu, Jan 10 2008, 9:03 am

How do you give your children self-esteem?
Do you find it workd by you?
I think personly that it is a character trait of a child.

Mitzvahmom

Thu, Jan 10 2008, 9:15 am

Every child is different and has something unique about them..

If you can find that, and accent it... they bloom..

For instance my daughter, K"ah has always been strong and flexible... But had low selfesteme... B"H one day a dance teacher saw her at my job kind of dancing around the main room.. And started asking her to try different moves, the teacher approached me and said she's a natural do you think u could enroll her? To which I responded the cost is to high etc, she said you do nto understand she's a natural... I will help u.

B"H my daughter's self esteme shot up, and she's really bloomed since she started dance over a year ago Smile

gigi

Thu, Jan 10 2008, 9:16 am

I think evrey child is born with it.

but the lack of self esteem is the yetzer hara of our day.

I believe that when your child knows you love him unconditionally.. no matter what..
that helps foster self esteem.

so after a slap..
you give a hug.. and a kiss, and say "I'm so so sorry I had to do that..but you cannot touch the knife."
I
it's important to make kids feel that their value is not tied up with anything else..
looks...grades.. friends...talents.... weight.....

they are special, beautiful, loved...
for no other reason.. but that they exist.

southernbubby

Thu, Jan 10 2008, 12:23 pm

I think that kids need to see that they are their parents' reason for living. Give them your time and attention and when you go somewhere, take them. I remember when my oldest was 6. I had gotten a babysitter so that I could go to shul for Kol Nidre and I was planning to leave them all at home. Suddenly, I decided to take the 6 yr old. He was so excited that he ran all the way to shul, getting there way ahead of me. He was going to be a "man" on Yom Kippur night! It helps the self-esteem to make kids feel that they are big.
My youngest was a very sick premie. I nicknamed him "joy in life" when he was little. Kids need to feel that the parents really want to take care of them and that they are not burdens.

madys

Thu, Jan 10 2008, 12:33 pm

Mitzvahmom - your daughter could have been me!!

I am the youngest of 6 kids, money was always tight, but as my older siblings got married and moved out, my parents had more money to enroll me in activities. They started with piano - I hated it and took it from 4th grade until 9th - I was really good at it, but hated it with a passion! Then I asked them if I could take dance instead - they agreed, and I really came out of my shell after that. I was always kind of shy, didn't have many friends through school, but dancing really helped me.

Also, when I was old enough to work, I got a job as a waitress, and that also really helped with my self esteem.

I'm still a bit shy, and it takes me a long time to get comfortable with new people, but I do speak up when needed to be an advocate for myself or my family - which is really important!

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