Speech in Neemas Hachaim last night

amother

Rose

Thu, May 16 2019, 3:22 pm

I didn't go but got reports from 2 friends! It was moslty about sheitels, what is acceptable and what's not. Inspiring stories about being careful of tznius.
Sheitel lenghth should preferably not be more than 2 inches past shoulders, no lace front that make it looks too natural.

naturalmom5

Thu, May 16 2019, 3:44 pm

It was very slick marketing
In the stores there's a huge cheerful colorful poster
Come and be a part of this

My husband said in yeshiva there were serious black and white signs all in Hebrew that said
With Hashems help we are getting together to protest and cry and lament the abysmal state of tznius in our holy town
Before kabalas ha Torah every ben Torah is desperately needed to participate next Monday

amother

Ruby ↓

Thu, May 16 2019, 4:34 pm

While external tznius is surely important and we all need chizuk, I wish these asifos would also focus on the internal nature of tznius.... cleaning and purifying ones thoughts from comparison, jealousy, and the need to be exactly like everyone else. "Tznius" means hidden/of internal nature...if we all focused on minding our own internal, personal relationship with Hashem, and tuning out the competitive voices of culture and community, that would be a true uplift for Lakewood. I was a teacher, and I always taught my students tznius from the perspective of the dignity of the inner self, for example, not exposing one's secrets, or conquering the need to know news and information about another person. And I find for my lowly self, constantly focusing on clothing and shaitels (while those areas do need occasional strengthening) makes me look outward, to see what others are doing. I know I am rambling a little, but does that make sense? Is this a direction of focus we could possibly inspire for the next asifah?

FranticFrummie

Thu, May 16 2019, 5:42 pm

amother [ Ruby ] wrote:

I would love to see an asifah on jealousy, loshon hara, and things like this. Will it actually happen? Who knows.

sky

Thu, May 16 2019, 6:11 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

I would love to see an asifah on jealousy, loshon hara, and things like this. Will it actually happen? Who knows.

Isn’t that the chafetz chaim video every tisha b’av?
My kids have an entire curriculum around this - lashon hara, anger, speaking nicely, jealousy, inclusion.
The kids are shown a chofetz chaim video on inclusion and lashing hara every year in av.
I find there is tons of events on that topic.

amother

↑ Ruby

Thu, May 16 2019, 6:19 pm

sky wrote:

I’m still waiting to hear the audio but I’d be very surprised if rebbetzin tarshish didn’t focus on the internal and tzinius. When she discussed technology it was all internal based. That is her type and method. She is always about the penimius and internal.

Isn’t that the chafetz chaim video every tisha b’av?
My kids have an entire curriculum around this - lashon hara, anger, speaking nicely, jealousy, inclusion.
The kids are shown a chofetz chaim video on inclusion and lashing hara every year in av.
I find there is tons of events on that topic.

Thanks for clarifying. I had no idea who the speakers were. If Rebbetzin Tarshish was the speaker, I'm sure she spoke about the internal nature of the mitzvah. Unfortunately many just take away the shaitel, skirt length part, I guess.

And I agree, we talk alot about lashing hora and jealousy and anger in our community. I meant how tznius relates to purity of thought and basically focusing on one's own life/relationship with Hashem to the exclusion of surrounding culture.

amother

Blush

Thu, May 16 2019, 7:36 pm

amother [ Ruby ] wrote:

I totally agree. I would love to see an asifah like this. And I love how you worded your post.

amother

Burlywood ↓

Thu, May 16 2019, 7:58 pm

I live in Lakewood in a more "open minded" neighborhood. After one particularly scary event a few years back, the rav of the shul got the women together to speak. I was SURE he would speak on bein adam lchavero. He spoke on tznius. I remember thinking "not again" but truth be told he came from a differnt angle and he spoke about women gathering to get their husbands every week outside of shul dressed all shmexy etc and he really had a point. Yes we have many things we can work on and a big one is tznius ...

SuperWify

Fri, May 17 2019, 12:33 am

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

Just noticed in Gourmet Glatt today.. is it the new style for women not to wear stockings?
I looked around and saw quite a few ladies with bare feet!! That is soooo wrong I can't wrap my mind around it!

Bit judgmental much? 🤨

amother

Seagreen

Fri, May 17 2019, 12:55 am

SuperWify wrote:

Bit judgmental much? 🤨

Why does everything have to trigger the judgmental argument? I’ve been bothered by this too- has nothing to do with judging a specific person. At a certain point it becomes concerning when a particular community’s standards are being lowered. What would have never been seen in Lakewood just a few years is now becoming quasi norm..

groisamomma

Fri, May 17 2019, 12:58 am

amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:

Thank you for writing what I was thinking. I couldn't figure out how to say it nicely.

forgetit

Fri, May 17 2019, 12:58 am

amother [ Ruby ] wrote:

This sounds like a very nice idea. Why don't you volunteer to speak about it? Even if you don't want to do it at a large gathering, you can do a recording for Inspire by Wire. They are always on the lookout for good guest speakers, and it seems like you have a lot of important things to say on the topic.
The only way we can make change is by CREATING it.