What happens to the neshama after a person dies?

stillgrowing

Tue, Jun 06 2017, 7:55 am

I recently lost a close relative and was wondering what happens to the neshama after death. Does the neshama still know what's going on in this world? Can we really do mitzvos l'illui the neshama of a dead person? How can one's mitzvos really be a s'char for someone else?

energy booster

Tue, Jun 06 2017, 8:45 am

We believe there is life after death.

There was a true story recently about a neshumah coming to a person in a dream to ask for forgiveness for s/t that happened over 35 years ago. Since he didn't forgive him he sent his son to that person. This was a very strong message to all of us that Hashem runs a perfect world and we will be held responsible for everything we do or say.

Chayalle

Tue, Jun 06 2017, 9:12 am

I'm sorry that the hug button is not available on this thread. I would give you a genuine hug. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hug

I have heard that neshamos have some knowledge about what's going on in this world, though it's not necessarily a free-for-all. They don't drift around here unless they are told/given permission. There's a medrash that at the time of the Purim story, Mordechai Hatzadik "woke up" Moshe Rabeinu and the Avos and told them to pray for Klal Yisrael - so they had to be summoned to do so, whatever that means!

There is the concept of the departed coming with a message in a dream, to this world. Many years ago, when my grandmother A"H passed away, our family decided not to tell her sister until after the Sheloshim. My great-aunt was old and not in the best of health, so the family wanted to spare her sitting a full week of Shiva. The next morning, her sons visited her and found her sitting on a low chair. She said the previous night, she dreamed that my grandmother passed away. She said my grandmother looked radiant.

DH always says (he doesn't make it up - has learned from various sources) that when a person has had a positive influence on another person (like a parent to a child) then when the living person does mitzvos, the departed person gets pleasure in the Olam HaEmes. This is because they caused that person to do those good deeds, so they get rewarded even post-humus. That's whats behind doing a mitzva "L'ilui nishmas" someone.

PinkFridge

Tue, Jun 06 2017, 10:12 am

I've also learned that the neshama doesn't have full awareness of what's going on here but then there is the concept of inviting relatives to a simcha. I figure that part of their s'char is getting the nachas from seeing their progeny go through authentic and important Jewish-living life cycles, so they're with us in some way at simchos.

There is definitely the idea of doing zechuyos in their merit, even after the 11 months (because no one we know needs the full 12 months) of purification after death, and that there are higher and higher levels a neshama can ascend to: people say Yizkor and do all sorts of things in dear relatives' merit for years.

I'm so sorry for your loss. This is a tekufa when our core beliefs are tested, battered, and refined. "Why didn't our tefillos work?" "Why did s/he have to suffer?" "Why this way? Surely s/he could have brought more kavod to you with x condition vs. why!" (E.g a brilliant mind destroyed by dementia.)

Know that these are our greatest truths. It is a hard thing to live through, especially if everyone involved (you, the niftar) are young, but this is also v'chai bahem. We are living, or walking the walk, not just talking the talk. May you have nechama, and the neshama should have an aliya.