Would you let this happen?

amother

Tue, May 20 2014, 10:02 pm

At my daughter's (bais yaakov) school it is apparently common for girls with a loose tooth to go to the principal's office so he can pull it out. Please help me wrap my head around this - I don't want any man who isn't her dentist (a) putting his hand in my daughter's mouth to (b) pull a tooth....

amother

Tue, May 20 2014, 10:10 pm

OP here / and can someone tell me how this works with the whole men/boys not touching girls? Does that make sense? I mean - it's an all girls yeshiva - such an emphasis on separation from boys and being tznius - how does this fit with that? I don't get it. A male rabbi/principal shouldn't be touching the girls at all - am I wrong?

Kugglegirl

Tue, May 20 2014, 10:18 pm

It probably started with one kid who had a loose tooth & was playing with it all day but scared to pull it out & the teacher suggested she go see the principal.

The principal, who she trusts, offered to pull it for her. She is so in awe of the principal so she said yes. He pulled it & told her what a big girl she is & so brave.

She went back & told the other little girls & now they all want the same attention too. Now it is like a school tradition that they will all talk about when they are grown up & have little kids of their own.

I'm sure no one is making them go to the principal with their loose teeth.

I wouldn't jump to any big conclusions about the principal's boundaries or accuse him of anything.

But you can call him & tell him how you feel & that if your daughter comes with a loose tooth, you would prefer he not pull it, but just give her some emotional support & tell her that it's such a special thing that she should let her Abba/Mommy/Dentist pull the tooth.

amother

Wed, May 21 2014, 11:14 am

When I was in elementary school (prospect park) - it was the 3rd grade English teacher (female) who pulled them out for any kid that wanted it pulled. At the time it didn't seem strange - but now I can see how some mothers wouldn't want soeone to pull out their kids teeth.

manhattanmom

Wed, May 21 2014, 11:42 am

Definitely no! Seems strange to me.

In my kids' school, there is an unwritten rule that if your tooth falls out during the school day and you bring it to the principal, he will give the kid a dollar....that's a rule we can handle Smile

Mommastuff

Wed, May 21 2014, 11:56 am

We had that in our school 30 years ago. I went to him in, maybe, 3rd grade, but not a BY school. He helped anyone who asked. He was super gentle and only touched the tooth, nothing else. My parents knew.

I didn't think twice about it till mentioned now as strange. I help my kids now, too, if its really bothering them. If it doesn't come out with a quick yank, I leave it alone to come out on its own.

But everything is different now-a-days!

amother

Wed, May 21 2014, 1:20 pm

A little off topic, but my mother never allowed me to go to school with a loose tooth. She said that it is a distraction and would always pull it out right away. She is a truly a pro at that because she is a dentist.

imasinger

Wed, May 21 2014, 1:23 pm

amother wrote:

My kids sometimes take weeks to wiggle them out. No way I'd keep them home that long.

amother

Wed, May 21 2014, 1:31 pm

imasinger wrote:

My kids sometimes take weeks to wiggle them out. No way I'd keep them home that long.

She never kept me home. That would be even worse than being distracted in school. She just pulled out the tooth as soon as it was loose enough to be a distraction.

heidi

Wed, May 21 2014, 1:33 pm

Oh, is that what they're calling it nowadays? "pulling out a loose tooth?" Really? Hello naive trusting mothers everywhere-- men principals should not be touching little girls in their office. EVER!!!

Scrabble123

Wed, May 21 2014, 1:37 pm

heidi wrote:

A man went to a therapist.
Therapist: Hello, what are you here about today?
Man: I don't know. My family said I had to come here.
Therapist: Do you want to talk about that?
Silence.
Therapist: I'm going to draw some pictures. You tell me what you see..
Therapist draws a circle.
Therapist: What do you see?
Man: Naked Woman.
Therapist draws a square.
Therapist: What do you see?
Man: Naked Woman.
Therapist draws a line.
Therapist: What do you see?
Man: Naked Woman.
Therapist: Alright, Ben, I understand why you are here today.

I happen to agree that it is not appropriate for a principal to pull out a child's tooth, but that goes for male or female principals. I did not even think of anything s-xual.

P.S. I am not even the least bit naïve. Still, I am not paranoid either. Not everything can or should be viewed s-xually.

heidi

Wed, May 21 2014, 2:07 pm

I work in an office where we get daily reports of children being s-xually abused by random people on the street, their parents, and yes, respected rabbaim. Sometimes a cigar ain't just a cigar.

Delores

Wed, May 21 2014, 2:19 pm

heidi wrote:

I work in an office where we get daily reports of children being s-xually abused by random people on the street, their parents, and yes, respected rabbaim. Sometimes a cigar ain't just a cigar.

Am I the only one who doesn't understand what that means???

imasinger

Wed, May 21 2014, 2:46 pm

Delores wrote:

Am I the only one who doesn't understand what that means???

It's a quote.

The cigar is just a cigar as opposed to being a Freudian symbol. Freud said that in the subconscious, objects with that shape were the brain's substitution for an eiver.

On a different note, amother with the dentist mother, apparently your mother chose EXtraction over possible DIStraction.

Very interesting. I guess if she ever changed her mnd about doing so, it would be a retraction.