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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
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amother
Sage
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 Sun, Dec 29 2024, 4:52 pm
| amother OP wrote: | You can stay in your comfort zone but if someone hosts you say 'Thank you your food was delicious'. Zehu. That's enough.
I think using shyness as an excuse is a cop out in some situations. |
100%. I would be livid. Didn't read responses but this would kill me!
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amother
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Sun, Dec 29 2024, 4:53 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I am listening and internalizing everything I'm hearing from nice posters on here who are giving me an inner glimpse and different perspective of a shy person. So why am I getting so much 'love' when I as a hostess am stating a little something you can do to make a hostess feel more acknowledged and appreciated?
Understanding goes both ways. |
I feel bad for your sister in law, it seems like you don't like her and you've made up your mind about it. You're not interested in changing your attitude & try to be more understanding of her.
You just don't like her & she can probably feel it.
Do her a favor & leave her alone. If you're not interested in working on yourself & try to be more understanding, then you're not doing her any favors by inviting her.
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hodeez
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Sun, Dec 29 2024, 4:53 pm
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Chalk it up to young and dumb. It would bother me too, but hopefully she will turn around as she acclimates to the family. Good on you for hosting such a beautiful meal!
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amother
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Sun, Dec 29 2024, 4:55 pm
| amother Sage wrote: | | 100%. I would be livid. Didn't read responses but this would kill me! |
Please do read the responses. It will give you some perspective.
Please dont read this as me being nasty. The tone doesn't come across the same in text.
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amother
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Sun, Dec 29 2024, 4:55 pm
| amother Aqua wrote: | I feel bad for your sister in law, it seems like you don't like her and you've made up your mind about it. You're not interested in changing your attitude & try to be more understanding of her.
You just don't like her & she can probably feel it.
Do her a favor & leave her alone. If you're not interested in working on yourself & try to be more understanding, then you're not doing her any favors by inviting her. |
Wow wow. Ouch.
Op doesn’t have an attitude but she’s human. She hosted a beautiful meal and wanted a drop of appreciation.
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amother
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Sun, Dec 29 2024, 4:55 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I am listening and internalizing everything I'm hearing from nice posters on here who are giving me an inner glimpse and different perspective of a shy person. So why am I getting so much 'love' when I as a hostess am stating a little something you can do to make a hostess feel more acknowledged and appreciated?
Understanding goes both ways. |
Doesn’t seem like you’re internalizing because you still insist that she should’ve complimented you the way you expected with zero regards for her personality or the fact that she just joined the family and is probably very intimidated.
You’ve been told by many posters to give her a chance and let it go but you’re still stuck. Let go of your ego a bit and move on. I’m sure she didn’t mean to hurt you.
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amother
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Sun, Dec 29 2024, 4:56 pm
| amother NeonPurple wrote: | Wow wow. Ouch.
Op doesn’t have an attitude but she’s human. She hosted a beautiful meal and wanted a drop of appreciation. |
I beg to differ. OP does give off an attitude. It doesn't seem like she's interested in hearing explanations or other's opinions. She's just hung up on what an awful person the shy newlywed SIL is.
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amother
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Sun, Dec 29 2024, 4:57 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I am listening and internalizing everything I'm hearing from nice posters on here who are giving me an inner glimpse and different perspective of a shy person. So why am I getting so much 'love' when I as a hostess am stating a little something you can do to make a hostess feel more acknowledged and appreciated?
Understanding goes both ways. |
You could have just said that you feel appreciated when someone compliments your food, but not when someone just says thank you. Ok, we would have heard and accepted that. But you were saying that everyone could easily just say what you and that there's no excuse not to. That's just rude. Sorry.
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amother
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Sun, Dec 29 2024, 4:57 pm
| amother Alyssum wrote: | Doesn’t seem like you’re internalizing because you still insist that she should’ve complimented you the way you expected with zero regards for her personality or the fact that she just joined the family and is probably very intimidated.
You’ve been told by many posters to give her a chance and let it go but you’re still stuck. Let go of your ego a bit and move on. I’m sure she didn’t mean to hurt you. |
Nope. I'm just giving a PSA to very shy people to go a tiny bit out of their comfort zone and acknowledge their hosts effort in tiny way.
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amother
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Sun, Dec 29 2024, 4:58 pm
| amother NeonPurple wrote: | Wow wow. Ouch.
Op doesn’t have an attitude but she’s human. She hosted a beautiful meal and wanted a drop of appreciation. |
That's what a thank you is. Appreciation.
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amother
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Sun, Dec 29 2024, 4:59 pm
| amother Aqua wrote: | | I beg to differ. OP does give off an attitude. It doesn't seem like she's interested in hearing explanations or other's opinions. She's just hung up on what an awful person the shy newlywed SIL is. |
Not at all. I don't think she's awful at all. I was hurt. Does that make sense?
Or only shy people can get sympathy on here?
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amother
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Sun, Dec 29 2024, 4:59 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Nope. I'm just giving a PSA to very shy people to go a tiny bit out of their comfort zone and acknowledge their hosts effort in tiny way. |
Psa right back at you to be understanding that there are people with personalities other than yours out there and understanding goes a long way!
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Raizle
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Sun, Dec 29 2024, 4:59 pm
| amother Sage wrote: | | 100%. I would be livid. Didn't read responses but this would kill me! |
Livid? Really?
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amother
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Sun, Dec 29 2024, 5:00 pm
| amother Aqua wrote: | | I beg to differ. OP does give off an attitude. It doesn't seem like she's interested in hearing explanations or other's opinions. She's just hung up on what an awful person the shy newlywed SIL is. |
I will definitely have more understanding for her now after hearing others experiences.
But the nastiness I am getting on here...is totally uncalled for.
ETA And frankly there is only one sided understanding on here.
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amother
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Sun, Dec 29 2024, 5:02 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I will definitely have more understanding for her now after hearing others experiences.
But the nastiness I am getting on here...is totally uncalled for. |
Sorry for the nastiness but you’re being extremely rigid and showing zero understanding that there might be another side when multiple posters have told you so.
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amother
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Sun, Dec 29 2024, 5:03 pm
| amother Alyssum wrote: | | Sorry for the nastiness but you’re being extremely rigid and showing zero understanding that there might be another side when multiple posters have told you so. |
Go back and read some responses to posters who kindly shared their perspective.
Most of you just attacked me.
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amother
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Sun, Dec 29 2024, 5:03 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Not at all. I don't think she's awful at all. I was hurt. Does that make sense?
Or only shy people can get sympathy on here? |
You did post things that imply that you think she's an awful person....
You said she's lacking middos & uses her shyness to cop out of situations, whatever that's supposed to mean.
If you want sympathy, you need to at least try to be understanding & open to hearing others opinions.
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amother
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Sun, Dec 29 2024, 5:03 pm
| hodeez wrote: | | Chalk it up to young and dumb. It would bother me too, but hopefully she will turn around as she acclimates to the family. Good on you for hosting such a beautiful meal! |
Thank you for your kind reply.
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