Can't afford food | Imamother

amother

Eggshell

Wed, Aug 30 2023, 2:36 pm

Cheiny wrote:

So let him arrange with them for him to go pick it up at their warehouse every week.

This makes no sense. Obviously he doesn’t see the need as dire as you do…[/quote
Correct. He does not. Hed rather put it on cc than take tzedaka.

I definitely understand this situation. Sometimes, oftentimes, at least in my case, dh does not deal with having to feed the kids or pay the bills or buy and prepare food, so he honestly does not see the situation the same as I do. It's a sort of oh, we don't have money for food, so let the kids just eat bread and hummus. He doesn't realize that the kids WON'T eat bread and hummus every day for every meal and they will kvetch and be hungry, and I will be the one to deal with it. Or he'll say, let's put a food shop on the cc, and then when the time comes to pay the cc, we have no money, but he doesn't have that foresight or practical money management.
I understand that everyone is getting frustrated with Op not jumping at one of the myriad helpful suggestions, but I don't think she's doing it on purpose. She genuinely feels stuck. I really hope your situation improves soon, davening for you.

amother

Leaf

Wed, Aug 30 2023, 4:19 pm

Op please trust someone. In today's economy their are a lot of people in the same boat. People say it the unhealthy people that don't get therapy. Same if you need the help try family. It's so hat's to admit failure but blood is thicker then water. Or a Rav. He may not know what's in your bank account but u less your playing rich he probably realizes you need help. He may have extra funds to give you. You'll be surprised there are possibly others quietly getting getting help before you tov.

I wish Mesilla organizations was free. It's in lakewood. You dont have to live there to use them. I never used them because they cost money and it's hard when you don't have. But they are really educated. Is there any way you could make extra? I know woman and men who do car service. Take in a student boarder, have a special needs child over, or over shabbos, sell yom tov related items. Some of these jobs are cash jobs. And don't require major skills

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Aug 30 2023, 10:31 pm

I just came back to say I really appreciate everyone's advice/offers etc.

I really came on here to vent. I know my situation and I know what the options are and I know the various reasons why/ why not I would utilize those options.

I appreciate being opened to consider new ideas like Tomchei shabbos.

I didn't take advice here because I didn't come asking for advice. I'm living with the status quo of my situation and hoping that one day soon IYH tables will turn.

For now just trying to make it work and venting through the process.

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 9:58 pm

Just wanted to give an update. I reached out to a Rav, he said he would help us, the situation is very complex as to how (I can't reveal anymore), but he said he would figure out a way. Haven't received any help yet though. Also I reached out to the local tzedaka for help, also nothing yet. I really hate taking, just want to get ahead of the credit cards.

I went to Costco today and bought One item. Just one bag of shredded cheese. When we had snap I would buy lots of food. It's really hard to not be able to buy what we need. I'm trying to make due with a lot less.

My girls are asking for clothing from kidichic. I haven't bought anything for yom tov, will buy one dress each from shein. There isn't really help for clothing for the kids, even from the tzedaka and it's hard for them to feel like they're not keeping up with their friends (even though we don't focus on that at all in our family.)

I am really just trying to keep my spending low, but no matter how low I keep it it's still out of the budget.

Just venting again, no solutions. I do wish we could go back on SNAP.

↑ TwinsMommy

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 11:39 pm

There are wonderful people everywhere who want to help. Here in my city, I know people I could ask if your kids need clothing--- give an address (a friend's address, your Rav's address, not yours) and your kids' sizes, and I could ask for the help for you not even knowing who you are. There are imamothers here from all over. You're anon anyway--- give us a city, or area of a larger city and someone will post that they want to help you--- I guarantee it. Again, if you happen to be in Cleveland, please pm me and I promise to help you without finding out who you are.

To answer your Tomchei Shabbos question I think it's entirely based on where you live. I can find out what Tomchei Shabbos gives here, but that's likely different than what's given elsewhere.