Do you think his boss is rigid?!

honey36

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:25 am

It depends. If the job market is really flooded, than he is not being rigid. If it will be really hard to find a new employee, than he is. But doesn't look like you will be able to know for certain unless your DH loses his job.

So basically I think it's risky but may be worth it for the house. It's possible boss will reconsider after he realizes he can't find a new employee whose as good as your DH.

↑ courage2change ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:27 am

imanotmommy wrote:

I'm confused. Is he literally saying "I will fire you if you move" or "I will fire you if you can't do the hours that you agreed to"?
You're making it sound unreasonable if he's controlling where you live. But is he really, or he's just insisting on the hours that were set? Meaning, if you'd move but spend every Shabbos in your old neighborhood, or just your husband would, would your husband be fired? I'm not saying that's realistic, just that if he'd still be fired in that case, then that's called being rigid.

Yes he doesn’t let us move period. Even if I stayed in Brooklyn every Shabbos… He told my husband he wants the peace of mind knowing my husband is there.

↑ wabcs ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:31 am

It sounds like he relies on your husband and is worried a commute might make him less able to do all the hours he wants from him (again, not only Fridays). He may think that even though your husband says he will still be available, when you add in the commute it may be impossible. A 1/2 hour could easily turn into 1 hour with traffic. That's probably why the boss is being so rigid about it. I would buy and rent if you can.

↑ Molly Weasley ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:32 am

Please support your husband as he works to provide for your family and avoid undermining his job or causing him to feel resentment.

It's a very tough job market! Appreciate what you have

You've gotten sound advice here, I'll reiterate mine:

-Buy the house in Staten Island and rent it out
-Seek an alternative worker who can work at the supermarket Friday afternoons.

↑ imanotmommy ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:36 am

courage2change wrote:

Yes he doesn’t let us move period. Even if I stayed in Brooklyn every Shabbos… He told my husband he wants the peace of mind knowing my husband is there.

Yeah, that's kind of controlling...
I get his point, and also doubt you'll change his mind. But it's a little extreme to expect to have control over your employees' personal choices outside of work.

↑ Molly Weasley ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:36 am

wabcs wrote:

Also , this 5 year contract is meaningless. There is no such thing. Your husband can leave anytime he wants to.

Of course he can. But he agreed to something else. I'm having a very hard time with this mindset, just leave!

What happened to our values that we can just so easily renege on our commitments?

↑ singleagain

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:39 am

courage2change wrote:

Not true. He works till 12 am on Thursday nights and till 8 pm on Tuesday and Wednesday night. Monday is an off day only when not yom tov but Sunday till 7 pm. Before yom tov he has to be in store a whole week till late! My husband is sacrificing more than just Friday..

I've been working as a bookkeeper in a kosher supermarket since 2016
It sounds completely normal for the managers

In fact, I once had to take on some managerial role during the winter during covid right when three people left and my boss got covid I was literally doing exactly as what you're saying your husband was doing for nearly 2 weeks straight in addition to my regular duties.

That's the job. You got to decide if it's worth it. Yours and his mental and emotional health to have this job.

Not everyone is cut out for every job. I was very grateful when my manager got better and I did not have to do the late shifts anymore.

Hello99

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:40 am

courage2change wrote:

Yes he doesn’t let us move period. Even if I stayed in Brooklyn every Shabbos… He told my husband he wants the peace of mind knowing my husband is there.

Yeah he doesn't get to dictate where you live and how your dh spends his hours after work. If you move and dh still works the amount of hours in his contract and his boss fires him anyway, I'm pretty sure he can sue for wrongful termination.

↑ itsokay ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:40 am

Molly Weasley wrote:

Of course he can. But he agreed to something else. I'm having a very hard time with this mindset, just leave!

What happened to our values that we can just so easily renege on our commitments?

Is the boss committing to OP's DH to keep him on for five years? What if incoming money slows down and he needs to lay him off? One way commitments don't make sense and are meaningless in Halacha and US law.

↑ Molly Weasley ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:40 am

imanotmommy wrote:

Yeah, that's kind of controlling...
I get his point, and also doubt you'll change his mind. But it's a little extreme to expect to have control over your employees' personal choices outside of work.

A company has the right to demand that workers not take second jobs or and reasonably available to perform the job they committed to.

↑ wabcs

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:45 am

There is a reason a 5 year contract is unenforceable both in secular court and bais din. An employee may agree to such a think as they badly need a job but it is not considered binding. If Halacha says you can't hold an employee to such a thing than that's correct.

↑ Molly Weasley ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:46 am

itsokay wrote:

Two wrongs don't make one right.
It's still his word. His obligation is based on his agreement, not what is enforceable in court

↑ Molly Weasley ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:49 am

wabcs wrote:

Halacha says you can leave whenever you want, but that doesn't make it right.
It means that on his end, he can't compel you to work.

It doesn't mean it's proper on your end to walk away after you committed

↑ imanotmommy

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 10:58 am

Molly Weasley wrote:

A company has the right to demand that workers not take second jobs or and reasonably available to perform the job they committed to.

He said that he would still be there for the hours he agreed to, and the boss said he'd be fired just for moving.

OP is also unhappy about the late Friday hours, but that's on top of this issue.

↑ Molly Weasley ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 11:03 am

imanotmommy wrote:

He said that he would still be there for the hours he agreed to, and the boss said he'd be fired just for moving.

OP is also unhappy about the late Friday hours, but that's on top of this issue.

The employer knows the obvious: the employee won't be able to continue working the hours he agreed to if he moves out of town.

Every commute is subject to traffic conditions

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 11:11 am

notshanarishona wrote:

A 5 year contract is meaningless, your husband can quit if the hours don’t work for him. Those hours wouldn’t work for 99% of frum people. Unless they are paying a fortune they are unlikely to find a competent replacement. He should play their game and let them try.

There are single guys looking for such jobs usually. I wouldn’t be playing games if my husband is onl y working somewhere a half a year and has a gap before that. This can be his path to a good career if he sticks it out another year or two.

↑ itsokay ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 11:15 am

Molly Weasley wrote:

Two wrongs don't make one right.
It's still his word. His obligation is based on his agreement, not what is enforceable in court

It's not enforceable in a Beis Din either. Is there a valid shtar according to Halacha? I don't think so. Why are you so hung up on someone keeping a misplaced commitment? It's a shaila for a Rav to decide if anything not for you to pasken.

↑ itsokay ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 11:18 am

Molly Weasley wrote:

Again who are you to hold a stranger to go lifnim mishuras hadin and at the expense of his family too? I'm not saying this guy should quit to be clear but he doesn't have to stay if it doesn't make sense for him and his family.

↑ Molly Weasley ↓

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 11:19 am

itsokay wrote:

It's not lifnim mishuras hadin