Shul only has Cholent at Kiddush if Sponsored - tacky?

amother

↑ Yellow

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 11:34 pm

amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:

This is one of those threads that will go nowhere....op, if this truly important to you, maybe look for a different shul. You seem more interested in arguing with posters than getting help with deciding whether to join.

Agreed. I don't think you will find anyone who will agree with you that it is "tacky" for a shul not to serve chulent on a weekly basis.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 11:38 pm

amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:

I got a lot of useful info/insight from this thread, and I found it productive. Seems like a lot of people have only experienced shuls with no weekly kiddush or a very sparse weekly kiddish, which is surprising to me because a lot of the shuls in our community have extensive kiddishes and almost all have hot cholent. The responses put this particular shul into the greater context for me.

malki2

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 11:42 pm

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

I think it's tacky that you're asking this question. You sound very entitled and spoiled.

This.
And who is complaining anyway, you or your DH and kids? Do you really eat the Cholent by kaddeshim? Personally, I hate it when they serve Cholent bc the men come home half-stuffed and can barely eat the meal, especially in the winter Shabbosim.

Lesia ↓

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 11:42 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Our shul has a sponsored kiddush every week. On a plain week we have a variety of herring and kichels, cakes, potato kugel, fruits, candy and drinks. Sometimes if there is more than one sponsor, they will add cholent.

It never occurred to me that it was tacky to only serve cholent if they had the money for it. Your question really baffled me as well.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 11:43 pm

amother [ Yellow ] wrote:

Agreed. I don't think you will find anyone who will agree with you that it is "tacky" for a shul not to serve chulent on a weekly basis.

To me, the tacky/insulting part is charging specifically for cholent and making it into a commodity. Some in this thread are saying that cholent has no place at a kiddush ("why can't you cook it yourself"? "why are you stuffing yourself on cholent if you're eating home"? "don't you know that a kiddish is just some grape juice and mizonot"?). If that's the case, they should just not offer cholent for sale.

↑ Lesia

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 11:46 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It’s not “charging for cholent.” It’s making a kiddush according to how much money is being collected that week, and how much food can be acquired with that amount of money. It’s a business decision. I don’t understand your question at all.

amother

↑ Firebrick

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 11:50 pm

Lesia, that's because this is one of those cyclical threads where the op is looking to argue with any disagreement. There's a certain cycle and style to these threads....

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Dec 08 2019, 11:52 pm

Lesia wrote:

If nobody wants cholent at a kiddish and cholent has no place at a kiddish, as many in this thread are saying, why isn't extra money being raised to pay the shul's bills, buy more siddurs, pay for additional programming, etc.? By the logic of many in this thread, it seems like it would be a wasteful business decision for a shul to raise extra money and spend it on cholent.

amother

↑ Plum ↓

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 12:04 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Perhaps, OP, people in this community don't value choulent as much as you do. Sounds like you identify chulent with kiddish. I don't. Many others don't.

And I agree with the other poster.. Kiddush. Its about Kiddush - recall making a bracha over wine. The snacks that go with it is extra.... there to quench the appetite and absorb the alcohol.

When people sponsor kiddsuh - they are giving money directly for the kiddush. Its not a fundraiser.

WhatFor

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 12:11 am

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

Am I the only one who thinks this is a weird post?

Are Country Yossi and the Shteeblehoppers secretly on Imamother?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 12:21 am

amother [ Plum ] wrote:

When people sponsor kiddsuh - they are giving money directly for the kiddush. Its not a fundraiser.

Yes and no. Money is money. If the shul has kiddish every week whether it's sponsored or not sponsored or even sponsored by multiple people, the kiddish sponsorship is just a donation and a nice way for people to give back to the shul if they're celebrating something. That's how it is at our shul.

amother

↑ Plum ↓

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 12:25 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

No and No. If there is a kiddush even in weeks its not sponsored - the weeks its not sponsored the funds are coming from the general revenue sources, ie membership. If kiddush is sponsored that week - its coming from the funds that sponsored it.

amother

Bisque

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 12:26 am

Am I the only one thinking what the h*ll? I can't believe people like op with this kind of thinking even exist. All indignant over cholent? Get a life. Yeah that was mean I know. I just seriously flabbergasted. maybe I should be a little more gentle. Sorry.
OP there is way more to life than cholent.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 12:34 am

amother [ Plum ] wrote:

Money is fungible. For our shul, the cost of kiddish is a fixed weekly expenditure. They're spending X dollars on kiddish every single week, just like they're spending Y dollars on paying babysitters for shabbat every single week or paying Z dollars for security every single week. All those costs come out of the general shul funds. And anything anyone sponsors is just money that goes into the general shul funds.

amother

↑ Plum ↓

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 12:38 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Money is fungible. For our shul, the cost of kiddish is a fixed weekly expenditure. They're spending X dollars on kiddish every single week, just like they're spending Y dollars on paying babysitters for shabbat every single week or paying Z dollars for security every single week. All those costs come out of the general shul funds. Any anything anyone sponsors is just money that goes into the general shul funds.

Great. Your shul chooses to put cholent as an expense item in its budget. This shul does not. This shul chooses to make a simple kiddush unless money comes in specifically to enhance it.

The big fancy wealthy shul that you went to isn't governed by a dictator. If weekly choulent was important to the membership - there would be weekly choulent.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 12:44 am

amother [ Plum ] wrote:

Great. Your shul chooses to put cholent as an expense item in its budget. This shul does not. This shul chooses to make a simple kiddush unless money comes in specifically to enhance it.

You're moving the goalposts. You originally said, "When people sponsor kiddsuh - they are giving money directly for the kiddush. Its not a fundraiser."

As I've been saying, if a shul provides a kiddush every week, sponsored or unsponsored, then the sponsorship is just a donation.

amother

↑ Plum ↓

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 12:55 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm not moving a goalpost.

When people give money to the shul - the intention for the money is "here is money for the kiddush".

I'm not really interested in having a bookkeeping argument with you.

DrMom

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 1:42 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I bet a lot of the nasty comments are coming from insecure women who can't imagine anything is better than what they have, and want to put other people/shuls down. They'd rather trash other shuls with substantial kiddishes, rather than realize that there could be something beautiful about a shul with an extensive kiddish.

Isn't this precisely what you are doing?

1. You can't wrap your head around the concept that a shul might not serve a huge cholent-laden kiddush, and
2. You label shuls which do not serve this one particular food by default at every single kiddush "tacky."

So stay in your own shul.

This thread is dumb.

Last edited by DrMom on Mon, Dec 09 2019, 1:56 am; edited 2 times in total

Iymnok

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 1:55 am

The Shul I grew up in (OOT)had a small table of herring, schnapps and crackers. The other tables had cakes/brownies crackers, chips and pretzels and there was a drinks table. When there was a cholesterols added it was because it was sponsored and one was a pare even cholent. If there was a big Simcha like a bar mitzva, then there may or may not be cholent because they often went all out and even wanted an ice cream bar that was dairy.

In the next OOT community, the costom there was to provide the study at Shul. The entire congregation stayed. When Chabad came there, they did the same thing. It may have something to do with haw far the walk to Shul was. But that’s not an issue today and it is still how every Shul there functions. But this community is very very OOT.

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 2:23 am

What a weird thread.

Our neighborhood shul has a basic kiddush after davening.

If someone would like to sponsor it, they are free to make it as simple or fancy as they'd like, and that will often include cholent.

Goodness, no one owes me anything. I can socialize and become close to the community with or without people feeding me because this isn't kindergarten.

This sounds like a nice, warm, and simple community. It seems this wouldn't be a good fit for you.