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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
Would you tell a 10 year old about birth control?
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| Yes |
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15% |
[ 28 ] |
| No |
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84% |
[ 157 ] |
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| Total Votes : 185 |
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tulip3
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 Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:09 am
| amother Snowflake wrote: | I’m very serious. What communities are you from that 10 year olds know about BC?
I don’t think kids should know before the age of 14. |
The ten year old found out about it so no one is saying to sit your kid down at age 9 and explain birth control. But if she found out and has questions, shutting her down or not being truthful isn't smart at all nowadays.
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Cheiny
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:11 am
| amother OP wrote: | My daughter always thought that having kids is something to daven for. She just recently heard from a friend that parents can take medicine to stop themselves from having a baby. She came home and confronted me miserably saying how I could I not have told her when all these years she has been davening so hard for another sibling and is it true that I am taking birth control and not trying to fill her deepest wish? How would you respond? She is only 10.. I feel like way to young to understand the concept and to keep things private.
It happens to be I almost died my last pregnancy and am under strict doctors orders to never get pregnant again. I had to be on hospital bed rest the whole time and still delivered over 2 months early because of my health. I have a blood clotting issue and lost multiple pregnancies due to clots during pregnancy. She doesn’t remember because she was young.
My fear is that if I tell her it will be discussed with friends and or brought up repeatedly. I do not share all or even most of my medical issues with her but I am very sickly. (Ie have a heart condition, blood clotting issues, autoimmune, etc ) |
Your real first concern should be where on earth a 10 year old is learning about bc from!
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:13 am
| Cheiny wrote: | | Your real first concern should be where on earth a 10 year old is learning about bc from! |
Books, the internet, etc
I grew up without internet, but knew about BC in theory at 10.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:15 am
| tulip3 wrote: | | The ten year old found out about it so no one is saying to sit your kid down at age 9 and explain birth control. But if she found out and has questions, shutting her down or not being truthful isn't smart at all nowadays. |
Right. But I’m saying her daughter’s friend.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:17 am
| amother Snowflake wrote: | I’m very serious. What communities are you from that 10 year olds know about BC?
I don’t think kids should know before the age of 14. |
I’m just wondering why both my comments are getting hearts.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:19 am
| Cheiny wrote: | | Your real first concern should be where on earth a 10 year old is learning about bc from! |
Firstly she said her daughter heard from a friend
Secondly, I disagree. Your first concern should be what and how you will respond to your child.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:30 am
| amother Garnet wrote: | Books, the internet, etc
I grew up without internet, but knew about BC in theory at 10. |
I was very well read, never came across birth control in a book. What type of book talks about it?
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amother
Wine
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:32 am
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Most girls by 10 have a general idea where babies come from. Talking about how birth control works or if you are taking it or not isn't so important. Validating her feelings is. Teaching that everything has a time and place and hashem is in charge is also important. I used to take bc pills and my daughter saw. I told her it's medication so I can be a good mommy. I dont plan to discuss bc in detail until my girls are kallahs.
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amother
Tomato
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:36 am
I would explain the purpose of the pills. Sometimes it's dangerous for a mommy to be pregnant. So she takes this medicine to prevent it but if hashem wants he could make you pregnant even with the medicine.
Also acknowledge her wish for more babies and try to give her the baby experience. if family members are on board. I "borrow" babies from my siblings for a week or just a shabbos we go to the park with them stores buy clothes sometimes.
I have a friend who has twelve kids under 9. (She's one of those people who hashem gave her even though she took the medicine!) And it's a win win situation they come over have a blast with my kid and it gives her a feeling of a big family. They sometimes even come from Thursday till Monday then when they go home we enjoy the silence.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:36 am
| amother Aquamarine wrote: | | I was very well read, never came across birth control in a book. What type of book talks about it? |
Any book that talks about intimacy/ teen intimacy/ relations ed at all. Yes, I read my parents books that were inappropriate for kids, but if books are there (even in a library) kids will learn.
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amother
Silver
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:45 am
| amother OP wrote: | My daughter always thought that having kids is something to daven for. She just recently heard from a friend that parents can take medicine to stop themselves from having a baby. She came home and confronted me miserably saying how I could I not have told her when all these years she has been davening so hard for another sibling and is it true that I am taking birth control and not trying to fill her deepest wish? How would you respond? She is only 10.. I feel like way to young to understand the concept and to keep things private.
It happens to be I almost died my last pregnancy and am under strict doctors orders to never get pregnant again. I had to be on hospital bed rest the whole time and still delivered over 2 months early because of my health. I have a blood clotting issue and lost multiple pregnancies due to clots during pregnancy. She doesn’t remember because she was young.
My fear is that if I tell her it will be discussed with friends and or brought up repeatedly. I do not share all or even most of my medical issues with her but I am very sickly. (Ie have a heart condition, blood clotting issues, autoimmune, etc ) |
She's 10. She doesn't get to know your personal business or health issues. Besides for the fact that she will spread what you told her.
Please let her be 10. Give her a hug and say what? That is so special that you daven for a new baby, I do too.
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lamplighter
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:57 am
The issue is not about BC it's about her feeling lied to. What you take is non of her business no matter how old she is.
What you need to decide now is if you want to share that you will not be having any more babies because it's not medically ok for you so that she stops davening for this or if you want to continue the Hashem decides when a person has a baby narrative and yes some people need to take medicine to prevent pregnancy because it's not healthy for them to have another baby at that time. Telling her that she can continue to daven for whatever her heart desires.
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Bnei Berak 10
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 11:06 am
| amother Silver wrote: | She's 10. She doesn't get to know your personal business or health issues. Besides for the fact that she will spread what you told her.
Please let her be 10. Give her a hug and say what? That is so special that you daven for a new baby, I do too. |
What makes you think she will spread it?
A ten year old should be able to keep things private.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 11:19 am
| Bnei Berak 10 wrote: | What makes you think she will spread it?
A ten year old should be able to keep things private. |
Not always. At 10 my friend told me all about Bras and Labor pains.
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Bnei Berak 10
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 11:21 am
| amother Snowflake wrote: | I’m very serious. What communities are you from that 10 year olds know about BC?
I don’t think kids should know before the age of 14. |
It's not a community related issue. At could happen in very sheltered communities and in more modern circles.
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dena613
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 11:42 am
When my dd was around9 I think she asked me why it is generally that non jews have so few children and jews have so many more.
I think I told her there is a medicine they take to make them not have children.
I'm posting under my screen name and bracing for tomatoes!!!
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 11:46 am
| Cheiny wrote: | | Your real first concern should be where on earth a 10 year old is learning about bc from! |
There are so many different places a 10 year old can hear about bc from. I don't remember how old I was when I first heard about birth control but I think it was an ad on the city bus or something.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 11:47 am
| amother Snowflake wrote: | | Not always. At 10 my friend told me all about Bras and Labor pains. |
Are bras not common knowledge at that age?
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 11:50 am
| amother Jean wrote: | | Are bras not common knowledge at that age? |
Well I’m the oldest so I had no older sisters to teach me. Bh my mother did at 11.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 11:52 am
| amother Snowflake wrote: | | Not always. At 10 my friend told me all about Bras and Labor pains. |
Why do people care about their girls talking about bras and labor pains?
Its such a foriegn concept to me. Kids talk. It is what it is and its not always a bad thing imo.
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