Please Help Me. I am Miserable and Exhausted

amother

Molasses

Yesterday at 3:52 pm

amother OP wrote:

My 2 year old girl started waking up multiple times during the night. I am at my wits end what to do. She insists in sleeping in my bed and when I try to make her sleep in her crib, she freaks out and wakes up my 4 year old. I’ve tried everything, giving her more milk in her bottle, juice, snacks in crib, cuddles, hugs, singing, timeout, etc. but nothing works. Now she started refusing to sleep in her crib all together.

All I can think to do is the cry it out method and check on her every half an hour. However she cries for over an hour and a half. The lack of sleep is making me resent her and I need help.

Why won't you let her sleep in your bed? My daughter sleeps in our bed. Letting her cry it out is horrible and traumatizing. Did you ask her what she needs?? You are giving her food and milk maybe she needs love and affection and reassurance? Is she scared at night? Is she having a hard time at daycare? Toddlers dont want to annoy us. They need us. She needs you. You are her mother. Protect her and love her instead of punishing her for needing you by letting her cry for an extended period of time.
And yes sitting there for hours is annoying and frustrating when they can't fall asleep. I sometimes sat there for close to 3 hours.
BUT thats your child. A blessing. A precious neshamale who needs love. She is worth sitting there for 3 hours. Other women are sitting for many more hours at doctors offices because they can't get pregnant. Thats what I told myself.
I took books and read a lot.

amother

Marigold

Yesterday at 3:55 pm

amother Molasses wrote:

Letting my kid sleep every night in my bed would be horrible and traumatizing for my shalom bayis, let's just say that.

amother

Bone

Yesterday at 4:04 pm

amother Molasses wrote:

I made my 2yo toddler CIO when once she started keeping us all awake in my bed, dh, me and toddler all couldn't sleep for a few nights in a row and no one was comfortable.
If bedsharing works for you then there is no reason to stop, for us it worked for a few months until it didn't. Even when it did work my sleep quality was severely lacking.
One night I got fed up being up all night again and put her back in her bed and explained to her that everyone has their own bed and we all sleep better in our bed, she has to stay her bed until the morning and that I won't take her out of bed anymore. She cried for 20 mins that night and then slept perfectly after that. She was happier during the day and easier bedtimes after that. My parenting is better because I finally have my evenings back to myself and sleep properly at night.
I would not have left her to cry for hours obviously but we all clearly needed this.
She still wakes up in the night, I go to her and comfort her but don't take her out of bed. She always falls straight back to sleep after I go to her.

Edit it felt very cruel at the time, but looking back it was in no way cruel of me to let her cry for 20mins.