Are you russian? | Imamother

GAMZu ↓

Wed, Feb 25 2009, 7:06 pm

I'm not a fan of either extreme. I don't like when parents are being lazy and use non-readiness as an excuse. And I also don't like forcing each child to be fully trained by age 1.
The fact is, the method used for toilet training in Russia is SHAMING. "What? You're such a big boy and you make in your pants???"
I remember when I was 2 and in nursery. If I had an accident, I would be terrified of the teachers discovering it, because they'd announce it to all the kids and encourage the kids to laugh. Confused

So, I think the best way to go would be to evaluate each kid individually. I trained my 1st son by 2 years 3 months, and my 2nd son is about to turn three and not yet trained.

momsprince

Wed, Feb 25 2009, 7:23 pm

flowerpower wrote:

Europeens train by a year too. My mother used to sit in a high chair with a hole in it and potty seat underneath by 12 months.

Funny how my mother told me today for the first time about it. She said all high chairs came with a build in potty.

↑ flowerpower

Wed, Feb 25 2009, 7:29 pm

You're right. I think it's the previous generation. From what I see these days, the average around here is age 2-3 years. All my kids were trained by 2.2.(dd just trained completely-woohoo)

I don't get how a one year old can be trained. The defenition of being trained means self initiating.

greenfire

Wed, Feb 25 2009, 8:13 pm

yup before the 70's we were all trained at one year ... Idea

now gotta copy mama-star nyet and all my kids were trained by 2 - they hated the feel of diapers and practically did it themselves ... I just danced the "hooray" Cheers

(see why we need the 2 handed cheers back)

mimivan

Wed, Feb 25 2009, 8:27 pm

GAMZu wrote:

This makes me feel better knowing it is just a cultural thing and not personal. I am still trying to recover from the time we were with all of the family, and my Russian SIL spotted my son still wearing diapers at the age of two and she said so the entire room could hear "Eze Busha! Eza Busha! Oy vaa voy lach!"

LOL

I didn't have the words to tell her (and I don't know if she would have believed me) that both early AND late toilet training are signs of intelligence (different kinds of intelligence)...

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Feb 26 2009, 2:14 am

GAMZu wrote:

So THAAAAAAAT explains it. Little russian kid I watch had a melt down when she had an accident, even though I was so reassuring of her... she looked like she was afraid I'd yell at her or beat her up or something. she's 2.5.

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Feb 26 2009, 8:22 am

NEW AMOTHER HERE:

My Russian parents trained my older siblings by 12 months. Cloth diapers and no indoor plumbing during the winter probably had a lot to do with it. They came to America in the seventies right before I was born. My mother discovered disposables and was in seventh heaven. She was so happy to not have to try and train another infant.
When I was a little over two my Zaidy was watching me while my mother was at work. She came home from work and there I was in underwear. I told her, "Zaidy said I am too big for diapers, and if I make in my underwear he is going to spank me." And just like that, I was trained. (I do not recommend this method.)

↑ amother

Thu, Feb 26 2009, 9:46 am

sequoia wrote:

I'm Russian Smile

No kids yet, but yeah, my mom told me all about the lack of disposable diapers... or washing machines... when you have to wash, dry, and iron everything yourself... not sure why about the ironing part... super Soviet women LOL

The ironing was the only way to get things soft after being hung up to dry. Most things would dry out stiff as a board, so after you took it off the lines you had to iron to make it wearable.

↑ GAMZu

Wed, Mar 04 2009, 10:13 pm

amother wrote:

sequoia wrote:

I'm Russian Smile

The ironing was the only way to get things soft after being hung up to dry. Most things would dry out stiff as a board, so after you took it off the lines you had to iron to make it wearable.

That, and also for disinfecting. The dryer does that for those who have one. But disinfecting something that was saturated with e-coli is necessary.

Teacup9

Wed, Mar 04 2009, 11:40 pm

Disposable diapers these days suck up the wet so quickly babies doesn't even realize they went.

I think the early training in other countries is more about training parents to recognize the child's cues. Most babies don't want to go in a diaper as newborns. That is why they go as soon as you take off their diaper. However they are left in diapers so much that eventually they only feel like going in diapers.

If you google "elimination communication" you'll find ways to get babies on the potty early. It involves letting them crawl around undiapered (on a easily washed blanket of course) and when you see them go you can hold them over a little potty or you can just observe the subtle cues babies make before they go. Once you recognize them it is easy to hold the baby over the potty. Also you can make "pishy" noises while holding a baby over a potty or letting a baby that can sit up sit on it. Our tiny baby bjorn potty is very similar to a bumpo. Soon the baby will go just from hearing the "pishy" sound. I am pretty sure that in countries where it is far too cold to be washing diapers all day or far too hot for babies to be in diapers or diapers are just plain expensive this is the norm and the elimination communication leads to earlier potty learning.

HindaRochel

Thu, Mar 05 2009, 1:39 am

In many cultures it is the parent who is trained, not the child, and the parent learns to understand the signals that the child gives and then holds them over the toilet (whether actual toilet or behind a tree). They associate a vocalization (by the parent) with the action and eventually train the child to respond to the vocalization rather than simply relieving themselves whenever. I am supposing that as they get older more and more responsibility is put on their shoulders so it is more gradual.

At times in the past toilet training was "enhanced" (to the detriment of the child) by stool softeners etc and rather harsh treatment.

Bottoms are not covered with diapers and the parent and the child get clearer signals as to what is happening.

No matter what you do it takes time and energy.

Here's an interesting article on the issue.

Science of Toilet Training

mira mira

Thu, Apr 02 2009, 10:33 pm

I don't understand how children, now that I have my own, can be toilet trained at such a young age. I was completely trained myself at 10 months! I learned to walk at 10 months! I don't understand how that happened!!!

Meanwhile, my son, who is B"H turning 2 in a couple of days, still doesn't know what he's supposed to do when I tell him to pee.

BTW, if you haven't yet realized it, I am russian, too.

chaylizi

Thu, Apr 02 2009, 11:04 pm

Teacup9 wrote:

newborns have no sphincter control & cannot choose to go when their diaper is off. the reason babies under a year go almost automatically is because it is cold & that is a stimulus to "go". in addition, because of the aforementioned lack of sphinter control, babies make almost as soon as there is something in their bladder. so most likely they will be making often when you open their diaper. about toilet training an infant, the AAP's position is that you cannot train a baby under 18 months or so. earlier than this, the parents are indeed training themselves.