When a Parent Hears One Side...

amother

Thu, Nov 13 2008, 6:28 pm

I had such frustration and now after the fact I need to vent. My 5 year old sweet natured very petite child rides the bus to and from school daily. There is a bus monitor on the bus (who is usually an adult woman) to be sure that the children are sitting nicely and behaving well. Yesterday my son came off the bus a bit disheveled, but he often comes home from school with his shirt untucked, tzitzis flying, yarmulke askew, so it wasn't out of the ordinary. I asked him about his day, and he remarked that all went well. Then the phone rang.... and an unfamiliar name lit up the caller ID. I picked up (big mistake) and got the dressing down of my life... "You don't know me," she began "but our children ride on the bus together." That was the ONLY civil part of the conversation. She then proceeded to carry on about how her darling son came home with a scratch on his face and what kind of child are we raising and who does my son think he is to attack her child, and on and on. She doesn't need her child to be fearful about his bus experience etc. I apologized that her son came home scratched and asked her what her child said happened. (Note: my son would NEVER EVER provoke an argument-he is a small wimpy kid who only reacts in defense.) She started some nonsensical story about my son bullying her son to get out of a seat and then he sratched him. The whole story made no sense. I apologized again (she probably didn't hear it through her ranting) and told her that I would talk to my child. I did talk to my child and got a completely different story, where my son was the one told to leave his seat by a child who is literally double his size. When the child started physically pulling my child out, my son scratched him in self defense. I don't condone violence, EVER, and we spoke about how he should have told the monitor he was having a problem. Then I called the woman back and had my son apologize for using his hands instead of words. She did NOT accept his apologies and informed me that she would be speaking to the school. IT WAS JUST A STUUUUUPID SCRATCH!!!!!!!! I don't want my son hurting pple but he WAS provoked... Hello???? Today when his bus came I spoke to the monitor who told me the other boy was just asking for it. She told him numerous times to sit down and he kept going over to my son to harass him. The monitor also told me that this woman called her house 20 times yesterday and shouted at her, not letting her get a word in edgewise, until she finally interrupted and said "Mrs. ______, your son was at fault! He started it and he got what he deserved." The woman was quiet, finally. And now after all is said and done, I AM SO MAD!! I can't even put my finger on why, but I feel attacked.

Sorry this is so long. I had to get it out!

Raisin

Thu, Nov 13 2008, 6:31 pm

The son sounds like he takes after his mother! Shes a bully, so is he.

It sounds like you handled it well. don't worry.

Falafel

Thu, Nov 13 2008, 6:51 pm

I agree with raisin, sounds like he is taking after his bullying mother!
Clearly the monitor is on your side, though. I think you handled it as best you could..

bebe3

Thu, Nov 13 2008, 8:16 pm

Raisin wrote:

The son sounds like he takes after his mother! Shes a bully, so is he.

It sounds like you handled it well. don't worry.

Right on!!

greenfire

Thu, Nov 13 2008, 8:42 pm

wow - at least you had the monitor to back you up ... personally I would turn into the hulk and let the kid himself know what would happen if he ever touched my sonny boy again ... Mr. Green

Imaonwheels

Fri, Nov 14 2008, 1:45 am

Uhh, why didn't the monitor enforce the kid staying in his own seat as opposed to wandering around on a moving bus? Here the drivers are tough. They will tell the kid to sit sternly. If not they will stop the bus and take care of it. Or a teacher who is also on the bus. A driver will tell a kid he can't get on the bus until he sees the mother.

ganizzy

Fri, Nov 14 2008, 1:58 am

why did ur son have to apologize to a screaming madwomen for acting in self defense? bad enough hes a wimp, now he should be scared of defending himself against a bully??? he probally put his hands up and scratched the kid by accident, b4 he had time to tell the moniter - if he was able to.

but it reminds me of an interesting story - when I taught hebrew school one year, the mother of one of my first graders called me up to tell me she was very upset that I would teach her child that its bad to marry a non jew bec theyre not good enough or something like that. she was polite but very firm. I answered her that I am sorry her son repeated that but I couldnt imagine where he got that bec I never said anything even remotely close to that and to a first grader yet. anyways a bit later she called and made her son apologize to me. basically his grandmother who wasnt happy with her daughter intermarrying told him that and he was smart enough to blame it on me.