Am I doing the right thing?

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:15 pm

I just started working a few months after giving birth.
I’m already burnt out. I knew I couldn’t do it. I’m on meds for ppd, I have no capacity or energy to work.
The baby was clinging to me since being picked up from the babysitter and cried every time I put her down
When I picked her up from the babysitter I saw her sitting in the bouncer with a bottle propped up and she looked so sad. Last week she was fine and happy, maybe it was just an off day, but my heart broke. She wasn’t even happy to see me, she usually jumps up and gets excited when I come
I didn’t make dinner. I’m sitting in bed crying because I’m overwhelmed. My husband usually helps me get out in the morning but this morning he couldn’t so I did everything myself.
I’m so resentful. I wish he’d make enough so that I don’t have to work. It’s his job, not mine and I’m falling apart after only a few days

amother

Eggshell

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:18 pm

Just know you are normal normal normal for feeling this way. The natraul way is to be bonding with your baby. Going to work is a last resort but unfortunately nowadays a lot of us have to. But it’s ur normal maternal instincts that are crying out here. Don’t resent those feelings, embrace them.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:22 pm

amother Petunia wrote:

If there is any way to cut back partially for the next few months do it.

Invoke your FMLA. Try to take unpaid leave.

I can’t. It’s a new job
I left my other job when the baby was born.
I wasn’t working for almost 7 months.

amother

Mintcream ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:23 pm

Is it at all possible to cut down your expenses drastically enough that working is not 100% necessary? Simplify your meals significantly, give up a vehicle if possible, rely on hand-me-downs for baby and stick with the clothes you have, give up cleaning help, etc.?

Can you then find a part-time job at home that will help a little (babysitting?)

It's not just that it's miserable to have to send away your baby, it sounds like it may impact your mental health which is already not where it should be.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:23 pm

amother Petunia wrote:

Also, cosleep and wear your baby while you are home so you get as much time with baby as possible

Baby is already sleep trained and I just switched her to her own crib. I don’t think co sleeping will work but I do try to play and cuddle with her as much as possible until she goes to sleep
I just miss being home with her

amother

↑ Petunia

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:28 pm

amother OP wrote:

I can’t. It’s a new job
I left my other job when the baby was born.
I wasn’t working for almost 7 months.

Baby is 7 months?

She's probably ok as long as you are comfortable that it's a good babysitter. Why is the sitter propping the bottles?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:29 pm

amother Mintcream wrote:

We are already living super simply
One older car that we own. Basement apartment (a tiny one not a Lakewood one lol) Don’t have anyone to get hand me downs from, and I don’t have cleaning help or buy expensive food
Idk where else I can cut back honestly. We need our car and we’re only paying insurance on it

amother

Buttercup ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:29 pm

I quit my job and we really cut down our expenses. I had to do it for my mental health. It's not my chiyuv to bring in money, it's something that DH should figure out.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:30 pm

amother Petunia wrote:

Baby is 7 months?

She's probably ok as long as you are comfortable that it's a good babysitter. Why is the sitter propping the bottles?

It’s a good babysitter I was very confident sending and I know her, I’m not sure why she’s propping bottles
Can I ask her or I should leave it alone?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:31 pm

amother Stoneblue wrote:

I have so much compassion for you, OP. Its really hard. I have no advice just hugs.

Thank you

amother

↑ Mintcream

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

Can you ask around (neighbors etc.) for hand-me-downs?

If you stopped working would you be eligible for SNAP?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:42 pm

amother Mintcream wrote:

Can you ask around (neighbors etc.) for hand-me-downs?

If you stopped working would you be eligible for SNAP?

No we wouldn’t… I wish. Kind of haha

amother

Mauve

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:56 pm

So sorry you’re going through this. I just went through something similar with my baby when I had to leave at babysitter to work. It was so so hard. I would cry almost every day with guilt and missing my baby. But it did get much easier once the baby was older and closer to 1. Although part of it was I also ended up using a different babysitter in where I felt more confident that the baby was doing good and got regular updates from her.
Really hope things get better for you !

amother

Honey

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 8:00 pm

Just so you know, there's nothing dangerous about propping a bottle for a normal 7-month-old. They have the strength to keep themselves safe.

amother

Mint ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 8:04 pm

What will happen if you quit your job? Staying home with your baby is priceless. And you will never get this time back. Babies are babies for a short time and they need their mommies. And we need them too. My baby was also sad at the babysitter and clung to me the second we got home. The babysitter also propped bottles. I ended up quitting my job and I’m so happy I did. It was worth all the money I lost

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 8:06 pm

amother Mint wrote:

We will have very very little money for extras
I will have to count dollars. Literally.
Now we don’t have that much more but at least I don’t have to penny pinch like crazy

amother

Blush ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 8:10 pm

Hi! I'm an experienced babysitter and mother. I would occasionally prop a bottle (obviously supervised) for a 7 month old. They are strong enough to hold it themselves and they can learn how at that age.
Also a baby looking sad at the end of the day does not indicate they were that way the whole day. The end of the day can be a bit hectic for a babysitter trying to pack everyone up and get last minute things done for the babies.
Make sure to give your baby lots of love when you are with them!
I am sure they will be just fine and we'll cared for!
You can speak to the babysitter and just check in on how your baby is during the day. Also, does the babysitter send some pictures during the day? You can request them to.
Sending hugs.It is so so hard to leave a baby!