Mesivta for "top" boy

small bean ↓

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 2:04 pm

So my son is what is considered a top boy. Extremely smart, good middle, behaves in school, davens nicely, on time etc.

His Rebbi gave a list of schools and he's not particularly impressed with the list. As parents, we don't want any school with high performance pressure.

So what high schools did you send to and we're happy for a boy like that?

amother

Zinnia ↓

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 2:15 pm

As parents of an extremely bright boy, I didn't want High pressured places.

But we looked into many lower pressure places, and they really weren't going to satisfy his need to be challenged.
Its very hard to sit there, bored out of your mind while the Rebbi is repeating the Gemara yet again. You understood it the first time, and the Rebbi is explaining it for the 6th and you're popping out of your skin.

Or there are no chavrusas that challenge you at all.

My husband went to such a yeshiva for a few years and it really destroyed his desire to think, to learn, to ask.

We applied for my son to Keren Hatorah, Slomowitz, Berkowitz - Shain, Sherwinters, and Feinroths.
He's in one of those places, very happy, challenged. Not the smartest, not the less smart. Yes it's pressuring and a bit elitist, and I'm not thrilled about that.
But overall, it's really good for my son.
Other places recommended were Mintz, Cohen's (Daniel Cohen), Weinbergers, Mesivta of Lakewood and Pruzanskys.

amother

Jean ↓

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 2:30 pm

My son’s in Weinberger’s, and he’s loving it! BH! We were looking into that and also a couple of more yeshivish places. Honestly we almost didn’t apply there because it has a name of being more baalabatish, but his rebbi pushed for it. BH! We are so happy there! He’s pushed but not overly pushed and he’s doing so well there, and it’s more yeshivish than the name they have!

amother

Celeste ↓

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 3:38 pm

His Rebbi may see him differently than you do- in a classroom setting, social setting, etc.

I’ve found the rebbeim usually know the boys really well and are very on the mark. But def not always.

I would question why your son is not impressed with his suggestions…and ask the Rebbi why he thought of those vs the other ones that were mentioned

amother

RosePink ↓

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 4:04 pm

amother Celeste wrote:

This

amother

Seafoam

Yesterday at 6:16 am

amother Zinnia wrote:

Slomowitz is very high pressure, Keren Hatorah might be very hard to get into.

The other yeshivos are all good, but each one has is a little different, and would work for different personalities. You really have to know what kind of pressure each yeshiva has and if it is right for your son (eg higher level learning versus following every rule to a T). We sent our very bright boy to a different yeshiva that has lower pressure because we thought that would be right for him. You have to know your son.

amother

↑ Zinnia ↓

Yesterday at 7:00 am

amother Latte wrote:

But not pressure from the rebbeim/hanhala IME. The boys are smart and there is a competitive-type pressure amongst them in some grades. My son is there and does not feel pressured at all.

Exactly.
My son is in Keren Hatorah and I feel like it's similar.
The pressure mostly comes from the peers and not the hanhalla.

But these "top yeshivos" do have typically longer hours than other places so that can be considered a different kind of pressure.

amother

↑ Latte ↓

Yesterday at 7:07 am

amother Zinnia wrote:

But these "top yeshivos" do have typically longer hours than other places so that can be considered a different kind of pressure.

Not in my experience. Same hours as a lot of other yeshivos and they have long breaks during the day. End at 9:15 in 9th and 10th grade and 10:15 in 11th and 12th grade. Off shabbos on average once a month.

amother

↑ Zinnia ↓

Yesterday at 7:10 am

amother Latte wrote:

Ok. But my son in Stern/Klein ends 8:45 9th and 10th and 9:45 in 11th and 12th

And a relative in a different yeshiva, I believe ends 9th and 10th at 8:15 and 11th and 12th at 9:30.
(Maybe Brody's or Brus I don't remember).

amother

↑ Cerise ↓

Yesterday at 7:14 am

The daytime schedules often differ more than dismissal.

If there is English - so a break in learning then.
If no English then a very long break where English would be
If no English and they have a full seder when English would be.

My sons yeshiva wasn’t listed here yet and he gets out in 11th at 9:45 earliest. So I don’t think dismissal time indicates anything

amother

Clear ↓

Yesterday at 7:21 am

amother Zinnia wrote:

My son in Weinberger ends 845 I believe.
With English Smile

Im thrilled there, BTW. So is he.

amother

Dimgray ↓

Yesterday at 8:02 am

amother Cerise wrote:

By type I meant the boys personality and strengths, not families.

There will be a number of money families. High end cars in the lot by PTA. Very few learning/ klei kodesh fathers, mostly successful businessmen. Discussion of Ferragamo belts and the like. But some very shtark learners and good ruach. Boys who do well there are very put together and very on socially. Boys who aren’t, even if they are smart and good at learning will not do as well, and generally won’t be accepted anyway.

They take boys who already have it together and give them the opportunity to become more serious and shtark. Other places will focus more on building a boy up even if he isn’t necessarily a finished product.

↑ small bean ↓

Yesterday at 8:12 am

amother Celeste wrote:

Some of these yeshivas mentioned were given by his rebbi but my son has reasons for each one. Elitist gets me nauseous so maybe that passes on to him also.

We've been getting calls offering him slots in yeshiva. His Rebbi is the one who defined him this way. I would never define a boy this way, I think it's gross.

amother

↑ Dimgray ↓

Yesterday at 8:33 am

small bean wrote:

You are doing him a disservice. If you stand on principle and put him in a Mesivta that doesn’t challenge him because you don’t want to be elitist he will find himself in the company of boys who don’t stimulate him and can end up doing poorly. Labeling and elitism is bad but cutting off your nose to spite your face is not great either. Don’t sacrifice your son on principle.

Chayalle ↓

Yesterday at 8:37 am

I know next to nothing about boys' yeshivos as a mother of girls...but what I do know is, being a top boy is one aspect of a boy. His type, his hashkafa, where he fits in socially, and what he WANTS play a role in where he should go and where he will do well. As such, you want a place that his Rebbe thinks is a good fit, but is his Rebbe thinking of all of these aspects, or just the learning? What about what he wants? And yes, are you killing his chances with your opinions? Because no place is perfect.