I DONT work full time because I love my husband

amother

Buttercup ↓

Today at 1:27 am

amother Papayawhip wrote:

Well not all of us have the choice and do fall apart. Otherwise our kids have no food to eat.

And our home isn't spotless or anywhere near it. Dinners and Shabbos is very simple. My kids don't have most up to date wardrobe.
But we are fed, clean, clothed, housed, loved and in school.

Would your kids have no food to eat or would they not be in school? Because that's a lot more expensive than food

amother

↑ Buttercup

Today at 1:34 am

I don't work full time because when I did my husband didn't take equal responsibility for the household/childcare. I couldn't be a nice person doing it all. So I stopped. He said in his family men weren't expected to do these things. So I said he could go to his family for money then since they created this set up. He had an attitude that I could figure it out because I'm the woman. I decided I believe in him and he can figure it out as the man.

And you know what?

He did.

And he's still not super helpful around the house. And I do work part time. But I refuse to work full time until he takes equal responsibility and mental load. It's been 5 years and I have no regrets

Men treat us as badly as we let them.

↑ CPenzias

Today at 5:43 am

mom37 wrote:

Please ladies can we just support and cheer each other on and not constantly be tearing down others who choose to live their lives differently? We are all trying our best to do what we believe is right for our family, be that working full time, part time, from home or stay at home mom.
We all have different capabilities and physical and emotional resources. What someone else chooses to do does not take away from what you are doing. We don’t need to push people down to lift ourselves up.

Her title was very off. It pushed everyone else down. She doesn't work because she loves her husband.... what does that say about those who work?

amother

Gray

Today at 10:20 am

amother OP wrote:

We have a lot of debt but I make the choice of prioritize my mental health. Also though honestly, between my kids and all their appointments there isn’t much extra time.

We don’t either have fancy dinners or up to date wardrobes or spotless house

Can we be friends?! Recently going the same path BH

amother

↑ OP

Today at 1:53 pm

Queen6 wrote:

No way of life is wrong or right. It’s an opinion. However you standing up and making a post claiming to be Holier than Thou is inherently wrong. Please keep your opinions to yourself.

No one said holier than anyone I was just stating a point as did the op who started the thread of I work 28 hours because I love my husband

amother

Yarrow

Today at 2:10 pm

amother Buttercup wrote:

I love this and I totally agree!

I work full time but only because DH does more than half and I have cleaning help. I was very clear that this was the only way it would work for me. In the beginning he would say things like - I'm too tired, or, that doesn't REALLY need to get done, or it's perfectly clean etc. I made it clear that that was not going to work and I am astounded as to how much he does, I had no idea he was capable of doing as much as he does now (holds down a full time job, learns, davens, shops, cooks, cleans, etc).

amother

Snowdrop

Today at 2:14 pm

amother Yarrow wrote:

So interesting, my husband is the one with high standards about how the house should be cleaned and neat, but he's doing a good 50% of it and childcare.