Did your impossible child get happily married?

amother

DarkRed ↓

Today at 7:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

Looking for some light here ladies.

My daughter is 15, has pretty much always been combative, defiant, difficult to parent, and now as a teen is also rude and moody.

We receive parenting therapy which has helped us with boundaries but still she is hand-wringingly hard. I think the most frustrating part is that she doesn't see herself and how she comes across, and therefore always feels the victim.

A big concern for me is that she won't be able to sustain a marital relationship, that she will fight with her poor husband and never take responsibility for her mistakes.

Do you have a happy ending story for me please?

Is she on medication and receiving therapy? My daughter was just like yours but we started the medication and therapy for her as well as therapy for both my husband and myself (separately, not couples therapy) around a year ago and have seen tremendous results. There have been and likely always will be uos and downs for my daughter but she’s learned so much about self regulation, her emotions, tools she can use it’s been amazing. And it’s only working bec she’s in the right cocktail of meds.

amother

Oatmeal

Today at 7:14 pm

Our various types of kids get put into a certain mold in the system that is catered to one specific type of kid. Thats why so many fail it.
When they get married, they kind of have freedom to be at their own speed, get the type of job they like, do their own schedule etc, and they becomes successful and happy at life.

amother

↑ DarkRed

Today at 7:15 pm

amother Oatmeal wrote:

Or because they’ve never been taught self regulation, they continue to have difficulty as a married person. Don’t use marriage as a band aid. Get your child all the help and more now so that she can enter adulthood with better coping tools.

amother

RosePink

Today at 7:32 pm

amother DarkRed wrote:

Marriage may be the wrong word to use but I agree with the previous poster that many individuals that seem to be challenging in a child and student role can do very well as adults once they gain more freedom and independence. These children march to the beat of their own drum and do not do so well under authority figures. Once they are allowed to be independent, they can flourish and be very successful.

giftedmom

Today at 7:38 pm

amother Fern wrote:

My parents would’ve probably written this about me at 15. The thing is that in reality I wasn’t impossible, I was simply in pain and very misunderstood.

Me too. My mom told everyone I won’t be able to sustain a marriage.

amother

Babypink

Today at 7:56 pm

amother Amaryllis wrote:

Um I think I was the difficult/impossible one... Bh married now!

That's what I was thinking about myself! Lol

(But honestly I don't think I was as bad as my parents thought I was. And not bec I was playing the victim, I just think I had the most personality and my parents didn't know what to do with me lol)