Did your impossible child get happily married?

amother

OP ↓

Today at 3:49 pm

Looking for some light here ladies.

My daughter is 15, has pretty much always been combative, defiant, difficult to parent, and now as a teen is also rude and moody.

We receive parenting therapy which has helped us with boundaries but still she is hand-wringingly hard. I think the most frustrating part is that she doesn't see herself and how she comes across, and therefore always feels the victim.

A big concern for me is that she won't be able to sustain a marital relationship, that she will fight with her poor husband and never take responsibility for her mistakes.

Do you have a happy ending story for me please?

amother

Pansy

Today at 4:11 pm

Maybe she can marry my son who sounds just like her. Just kidding.

Following to see what others say. I have the same fear/worry.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 4:13 pm

amother Pansy wrote:

Maybe she can marry my son who sounds just like her. Just kidding.

Following to see what others say. I have the same fear/worry.

That's funny... Thanks for putting a smile on my face. I feel you sista!

amother

cornflower

Today at 4:33 pm

Not child, but had an exceedingly stubborn, annoying brother, who has turned out to be a brilliant husband and father. It took him really becoming mature, to completely change.
Sounds like she just really needs to mature as well, to learn the skills to see beyond herself and her own needs.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 4:35 pm

amother cornflower wrote:

Bless you! You've given me just the sort of hope I was craving!!

amother

Pink ↓

Today at 5:21 pm

I think my parents would've written this about me at that age.
I'm married bh, we have some challenges but we work through them by communicating etc and overall happy. I'm a great mother especially because I understand my kids difficulties and frustrations and treat them respectfully even when they're being a bit difficult.

I went to therapy for a few years before I got married which helped loads. My parents tried to send me for therapy as a teenager I didn't want to and they didn't force. I'm glad they waited until I wanted to go.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 5:22 pm

amother Magnolia wrote:

Curious what parenting therapy looks like? Never heard of this?

A therapist who helps us with various problems with our kids. She helps us help them, teaching us tools and techniques to be more effective parents.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 5:24 pm

amother Amaryllis wrote:

Um I think I was the difficult/impossible one... Bh married now!

This is intriguing! Please explain to me what was going through your head when you were being impossible? Did you gain a self awareness as you grew older to get you to a point of realizing your behavior was unacceptable? Did you ever apologize to your parents for what you put them through?

amother

↑ OP

Today at 5:27 pm

amother Pink wrote:

This is so great for me to read. My daughter also refuses therapy and we aren't forcing her to go, which is why we go to therapy to at least help from our side. Also love that your teenage experiences not only didn't hinder your ability to be a good mom but actually helped!

amother

↑ Pink

Today at 5:38 pm

amother OP wrote:

I hope your daughter matures into an amazing woman. It sounds like you're doing your best to support her.
Another thing is that after getting married my relationship with my parents is really good, we love spending time with them because there is no judgement or anxiety from their part.
Whereas even once I matured whilst I was still single and living at home my mother was obviously worried about shidduchim and worried about my behaviour/dress etc. whereas once I was married to nice normal guy who they liked everything became much easier.

amother

Fern

Today at 6:08 pm

My parents would’ve probably written this about me at 15. The thing is that in reality I wasn’t impossible, I was simply in pain and very misunderstood.

amother

Bronze

Today at 6:20 pm

I was the most difficult child and I got married first. B”H did very well. Just like the other poster said, I was very misunderstood (like I was popped into the wrong family by mistake). Now we are all close and everything is fine B”H.

amother

Seagreen

Today at 6:25 pm

My mother thought I was impossible. In reality, she was triggered by my personality because it's too similar to my father's. I am bh very happily married. I get along wonderfully with my dh. My relationship with my mom also improved once I moved out of the house.