Selective mute second greater

amother

Dimgray

Fri, Jan 10 2025, 2:39 am

My daughter had such strong anxiety that if my parents came to visit, she would not even talk to me in my own home. In kindergarten her teacher said dont worry she'll be fine. But she wasn't. By the end of pre1a the school was already insisting she can't come back without a seit. I looked into it, saw that she could only get a seit with an autism diagnosis and went to Amazon instead. I ended up with a book called Still Waters Run Deep. It had separate sections for parent, teacher, therapist. Because we had an uncooperative school and no therapist I did just the parent part at home over the summer and BH BH she went into 1st grade talking. She is still a quiet kid in school (8th grade) but BH she has friends and does ok academically. She has no problem shmoozing with extended family anymore either BH

blima1 ↓

Fri, Jan 10 2025, 5:40 am

I don't have time to read this thread right now but I am a social worker who works with children with selective mutism and if anyone has any questions, you can pm and I can try my best to be helpful when I have time
I don't know about therapists in america but I trained and work under Ruth Perednik
She is one of the best at this
you can look her up online she wrote a very helpful book for parents, teachers and therapists and she has a website with a lot of info
there are people in america who were trained by her but I don't have any info about that....
hatzlacha to all!

ETA, I see a few people posted about the same book... its called Still waters run deep and here is her website https://selective-mutism.org/

Last edited by blima1 on Sat, Jan 11 2025, 1:15 pm; edited 1 time in total

#BestBubby

Fri, Jan 10 2025, 8:03 am

amother Crocus wrote:

The teacher who cured my child just didn't expect anything. Joined them in even without words. Told me not to make an issue of it. It took until January but they started talking and that was the end of it.
A few years later, I had the same issue with another child and I told the teacher not to make an issue, to pretend they are talking, by December they were shmoozing with other kids and by February with the teacher. This year, the teacher's complaint is that they never stop talking!

Give them space, time and no pressure.

This!

As a SEIT I saw my clients classmate (,4 y.o.) was selectively mute. But she didn't seem upset and followed class routines.

I unofficially helped her.

After doing activities with my client using my toys and games some of the other kids also wanted a turn.

The mute girl watched but didn't ask for a turn but I would say,
"And now it's Esty's turn"

I also would sometimes praise Esty's coloring or compliment her new shoes or give her the job of passing out the cups.

No pressure to talk.

By Purim Esty was saying " it's my turn next"

amother

Cerise

Fri, Jan 10 2025, 8:13 am

Watch this: https://handsonapproaches.com/.....ism/. Tons of practical tips on how to handle and how to have the school help.

The Gittman sisters helped me with my daughter. They treated her physiological anxiety and worked with the school. She’s a different person. Hodu laHashem.

Definitely worth reaching out to them. Info@handsonotrehab.com.

amother

Catmint

Fri, Jan 10 2025, 8:22 am

I’ve taught a few selectively mute students. The big thing is to decrease the pressure and let them be in control.
One thing we did is that everyone was encouraged to write down their answers ahead and when it was her turn “do you want to read your answer or should I?” So it wasn’t about coming up with the words to say on the spot, and she could just point to me and I would read for her.

She also did very well with the class meeting where she would want to share stuff.

↑ blima1 ↓

Sat, Jan 11 2025, 1:23 pm

so I wouldn't say the biggest thing is to decrease pressure
No
that is very very necessary but it is not the intervention at all
OP, you said your child is in 2nd grade. 6-7 years old is old for selective mutism (even though I have treated older). It is not the time to just sit back and make the environment comfortable for her (like other posters are suggesting)
btw, the way we work is with a very gentle approach, but we are actively working on it
the longer you leave it, the worse it can get so yes while there are some scenarios where a child can overcome it by herself, I think you can assume that at this age, that will not happen
and I would honestly not wait for treatment even for a much younger age (speaking to Mom who said child is 3.5) just because I have firsthand experience seeing how much a child is suffering with sm and why not help them if you can, it will make such a big difference in their life (sometimes it's hard for the parents to realize this because they don't see the child in school...)
to be clear, most of the posters are saying nice things but now is not the time only for that- it's the time for that plus action, if that makes sense

↑ blima1

Sat, Jan 11 2025, 1:30 pm

amother Dimgray wrote:

Wow, this is great
I tell parents that if they are very very dedicated they can really do the work on their own! but it's harder as the parent, so really impressed that you were able to do it!
It ovb doesn't always work with all kids- I usually find that you need at least the parents and the teacher to be involved
Did you ever reach out to Ruth (the author of the book) to tell her your story? I'm sure she would love it (and have questions for you!!)