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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
amother
Red
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Today at 2:01 am
amother OP wrote: | wow thanks (sarcasm alert) . you dont always have to be a voice of doom and gloom
But that's exactly what Im worried about. He's in a great yeshiva, comes home once a month, has a close relationship with his rebbi, has great friends, spends all his time in the bais medrash even a ton of time over bain hazmanin. He has no time to not be sheltered! but thanks. Thats exactly why I am worrying . the yetzer hora is always looking to squeeze his way in. Is it going to be through calling chat gpt? thats what I want to know. I want toknow if this is a danger to his remaining sheltered and ehrlich. thanks |
You see the guy once a month . How are you so sure hes so sheltered
Bh I have some boys . Some more sheltered than others. I really do not think its possible for you to know what hes up to if you see him once a month!
A lot goes on in social settings and dorms.
You should be discussing all kinds of topics with him but forbidding him from doing something only leads to lying and sneaking which is further damaging to parental relationship
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amother
Opal
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Today at 2:05 am
Cheiny wrote: | Don’t be too sure he’s still very sheltered. |
Huh?? No need for that.
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Success10
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Today at 2:13 am
He knows you're periodically checking his phone, so he should not be embarrassed or put on the spot if you confront him about this. Just lightly ask him why he was calling this number, and he'll say "Oh, Dovid Streicher told me I have to call this number and ask it questions, it gives the dumbest answers!" and you'll say, oh, that's funny. But it's not matim for a yeshiva bochur to be calling these kinds of numbers. I wouldn't block the number, I'd show him you trust him not to call it again. But follow up and make sure he didn't call again. Yes, I'm aware he might be calling from a friends phone to circumvent you, but then your problems are bigger than ChatGPT, and I'm assuming it's not there yet. He's just clueless and able to be trusted.
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amother
Brown
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Today at 3:17 am
The answer is simple. ChatGPT is unfiltered internet. Do you trust him and does he trust himself with unfiltered internet? That is what you are dealing with here.
Even if he is using it innocently, it has every bit as much potential to be a rabbit hole as the rest of the internet
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amother
Mauve
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Today at 3:57 am
My friends 11 year old was calling so she called the number and tested it out. She prompted “what is relations” “what is [filth]?” “Tell me something hot” and got answers. It’s google. Anything they want to know can be found.
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amother
DarkCyan
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Today at 3:59 am
All the kids are calling it. It’s a huge problem but nothing to do about it
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PinkFridge
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Today at 4:06 am
amother OP wrote: | why not? If I were to hear that its not good for his ruchniyus I would tell him to not call it . Maybe he would listen,maybe he wouldnt . But at least I can tell him. He is a very good bochur |
Have a discussion about it. Talk about wasting time, going where you shouldn't, etc. Empower him to make good decisions when he's faced with the need to.
I assume this isn't a kid who usually needs to use computers and internet. Many people who use ChatGPT are using it to help come up with words, copy, outlines, organizing information, etc. Using it to find out facts is not efficient. My impression is that kids who call in are using it for impractical reasons: if they want info there are better places to get it, and they may be flirting with the salacious.
I might be wrong. But if I'm right, you don't want to say NO as much as say, seems like a bad idea. Whatever you say, say something that opens conversation, not closes it. Hatzlachah!
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PinkFridge
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Today at 4:06 am
amother OP wrote: | He's BH a really good boy. But even really good boys can go astray when the opportunity arises.
al taamin batzmecha ad yom moscha. Don't believe in yourself until the day of your death. I wouldn't trust myself with unfiltered internet either. I think my ruchinyus level would go down if I had unfiltered internet.
So yes I trust him usually, but I think this sounds like a bad idea |
What void is this filling? What better options are there? Let him chill with the Zman or Makif, etc.
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PinkFridge
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Today at 4:09 am
amother OP wrote: | wow thanks (sarcasm alert) . you dont always have to be a voice of doom and gloom
But that's exactly what Im worried about. He's in a great yeshiva, comes home once a month, has a close relationship with his rebbi, has great friends, spends all his time in the bais medrash even a ton of time over bain hazmanin. He has no time to not be sheltered! but thanks. Thats exactly why I am worrying . the yetzer hora is always looking to squeeze his way in. Is it going to be through calling chat gpt? thats what I want to know. I want toknow if this is a danger to his remaining sheltered and ehrlich. thanks |
Ladies, if you have any yeshivah hanhalah in your lives, speak to them. Tell them to have discussions with the boys about how to chill. And have them challenge the boys to start using time in bracing growing ways, like five minute chavrusas with friends in an English language book. Come up with really interesting ideas. Mosaica has amazing stuff.
Just five minutes.
And other material, exercise. Are there basketball hoops anywhere?
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amother
Honeydew
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Today at 4:23 am
My boys call it too. Nothing I can do. They found the number without me about they'll use it whether or not I approve.
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amother
Pear
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Today at 4:57 am
My son recently started using it as well. He got the number from one of his "yeshivish" friends.
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amother
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Today at 9:09 am
amother Mauve wrote: | My friends 11 year old was calling so she called the number and tested it out. She prompted “what is relations” “what is [filth]?” “Tell me something hot” and got answers. It’s google. Anything they want to know can be found. |
I'm very curious what inappropriate answers she got. Obviously nothing is foolproof. But my husband uses chat gpt for work. Me and him tried to see if you can ask it things about s*x and the likes and it kept on saying I can not talk about inappropriate topics or something like that.
If I need to guess, the regular boys not the ones looking for trouble are using it to ask for news and sports.
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amother
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Today at 9:14 am
amother OP wrote: | wow thanks (sarcasm alert) . you dont always have to be a voice of doom and gloom
But that's exactly what Im worried about. He's in a great yeshiva, comes home once a month, has a close relationship with his rebbi, has great friends, spends all his time in the bais medrash even a ton of time over bain hazmanin. He has no time to not be sheltered! but thanks. Thats exactly why I am worrying . the yetzer hora is always looking to squeeze his way in. Is it going to be through calling chat gpt? thats what I want to know. I want toknow if this is a danger to his remaining sheltered and ehrlich. thanks |
He sounds like a good kid. Honestly I would not confront. That sounds harsh and like I gotchya. He's away all month. You have to trust him. Keep the line of communication open.
You can casually mention in conversation hey I heard kids these days are calling Chat Gpt, I'm so curious what kind of things they ask. And you can have a discussion about the potential pitfalls and dangers.
I feel like sometimes we are so bombarded with scare filled messages of gloom and doom that it almost ends up being a self fulfilling prophecy.
Tread carefully.
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amother
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Today at 9:15 am
thanks so much ladies for all the responses. I really apprecaite it.
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amother
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Today at 9:18 am
amother OP wrote: | thanks so much ladies for all the responses. I really apprecaite it. |
Believe me, I get your fears. I have 3 teen boys 14-19. But I know that as they get older I have to instill in them the knowledge that I trust them. I force myself to stay awake till 2-3am Friday nights on their off shabbos so I can give them my full attention when they want to shmooze. It's not easy but I'm keeping the lines of communication open. Having a good relationship with your child is worth more than a thousand restrictions put on them.
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Ema of 5
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Today at 9:19 am
amother Arcticblue wrote: | Wow never knew Chat GPT is available over the phone like that. Turns out it is - https://help.openai.com/en/art.....phone
It’s like an advanced form of googling. You ask artificial intelligence questions and it answers you. It’s fun to play with. No reason to think he’s doing anything dirty. Why are you snooping on him to this degree? Feels excessive imho. |
Parents keeping a finger on what their kids are doing is snooping? Our kids know that we can go through their phones at any time. They have no problem with it. Snooping would be going behind their backs.
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amother
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Today at 9:24 am
amother Red wrote: | You see the guy once a month . How are you so sure hes so sheltered
Bh I have some boys . Some more sheltered than others. I really do not think its possible for you to know what hes up to if you see him once a month!
A lot goes on in social settings and dorms.
You should be discussing all kinds of topics with him but forbidding him from doing something only leads to lying and sneaking which is further damaging to parental relationship |
She knows her child. Some people have their own style of parenting and that's ok. Not everyone who has something forbidden to them will seek it out.
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amother
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Today at 9:25 am
PinkFridge wrote: | Ladies, if you have any yeshivah hanhalah in your lives, speak to them. Tell them to have discussions with the boys about how to chill. And have them challenge the boys to start using time in bracing growing ways, like five minute chavrusas with friends in an English language book. Come up with really interesting ideas. Mosaica has amazing stuff.
Just five minutes.
And other material, exercise. Are there basketball hoops anywhere? |
This. My husband's chasidish high school played basketball with a milkcrate nailed to the wall.
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PinkFridge
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Today at 9:37 am
amother Chartreuse wrote: |
If I need to guess, the regular boys not the ones looking for trouble are using it to ask for news and sports. |
I can't help but think, how trustworthy is it for facts like that? Are there news lines to call?
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amother
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Today at 9:46 am
PinkFridge wrote: | I can't help but think, how trustworthy is it for facts like that? Are there news lines to call? |
Yes there are news lines as well.
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