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amother
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 Sat, Jan 04 2025, 8:59 pm
| amother Antiquewhite wrote: | | You take off then. Or your spouse takes off. Winter vacation comes around every year. It’s predictable and easily able to be planned for. |
I get paid hourly and lose out on an entire weeks of pay if I take off.
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amother
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:00 pm
| amother Fuchsia wrote: | | Well, I can't travel Friday and Shabbos. This gives us a chance to travel Sunday and come back Thursday. So, Friday- Tuesday would be a break but can't really get very far for those who would like to travel. |
And those who can’t afford travel need to feel stressed to accommodate those who have money?
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amother
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:00 pm
| amother Fuchsia wrote: | | Well, I can't travel Friday and Shabbos. This gives us a chance to travel Sunday and come back Thursday. So, Friday- Tuesday would be a break but can't really get very far for those who would like to travel. |
You have thanksgiving to travel and Chanukah to travel and pesach to travel and summer to travel. Why winter too?
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amother
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:01 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Well I can take off work for a week and then I get to spend all day with them and I don’t get paid. Or I can work some days and juggle those days and be stressed the whole time.
Also I love spending time with my kids but an endless week of unstructured time (assuming I do take the week off) is very very difficult for me. |
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amother
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:01 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | And what does she do during that break? |
We usually do try to go away. I’ve been planning and plotting my points for an entire year to cobble this together as cheaply as possible. I’m one of those people who forgo lots and luxuries that other consider necessities throughout the year in exchange for travel. As a family we find that travel gives us a change of scenery and chance to bond that we don’t have at home when we can hardly breathe from the busy-ness of life. But we’ve definitely done staycations and planned outings each day. We used culture pass and did another free cultural site per day. There are so many free things to do: it doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg.
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amother
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:01 pm
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Chances are those who can’t afford to fly also can’t afford to take off… so you have half the families sitting at home or by a babysitter unhappy and stressed. And then you have those who are living it up in cool places.
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amother
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:02 pm
| amother OP wrote: | So that’s my question really- is the school just doing it to make the wealthy people happy? Or the people who are in the income bracket to go away.
What about all those of us who are stuck home, where’s the consideration for us? |
I don’t have money to spend on vacation and wish my kids had a full week off to connect with them. It’s a gift if used properly. I’m eagerly looking forward to the few days they do have and wish it was a full week.
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amother
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:03 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | You have thanksgiving to travel and Chanukah to travel and pesach to travel and summer to travel. Why winter too? |
We don’t have Thanksgiving to travel. We have school and work on Friday of that weekend. Summer travel feel superfluous j since the kids are off anyway. And pesach travel is not a vacation in the same way. It’s just not.
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amother
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:03 pm
| amother Antiquewhite wrote: | Then you need to figure out why it’s hard for you to spend a week together with them and how you can tackle that. It’s important for a mother and father to spend time together their kids and enjoy the time spent.
It builds connections and memories.
Try to think about what is the underlying hardship and maybe we can help you strategize and problem solve. |
Sorry but week of unstructured time is not good for my mental health. I don’t think there is anything wrong with me. It doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy spending time. We love spending time, but a week unstructured is just constant fighting/ feeding/ cleaning. Zero to do with my relationship with my kids and our family relationships.
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amother
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:03 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | You have thanksgiving to travel and Chanukah to travel and pesach to travel and summer to travel. Why winter too? |
My kids go to school on Thanksgiving.
Chanukah they just get a long weekend.
Pesach travel? That's for wealthy people in hotel programs. I'm home cooking. My kids spend their break peeling potatoes.
Summer kids are in camp. Sometimes we get a family trip in too if we can find a week where nobody has camp, or to be getting ready for camp, or getting ready for school.
Winter break is when we take our best family trips.
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amother
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:05 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | You have thanksgiving to travel and Chanukah to travel and pesach to travel and summer to travel. Why winter too? |
The more opportunities for family time the better. Your kids will grow up and you will miss these opportunities. Try to think how you can make this easier for you and your kids.
We can help perhaps.
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amother
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:05 pm
| amother Tomato wrote: | | We usually do try to go away. I’ve been planning and plotting my points for an entire year to cobble this together as cheaply as possible. I’m one of those people who forgo lots and luxuries that other consider necessities throughout the year in exchange for travel. As a family we find that travel gives us a change of scenery and chance to bond that we don’t have at home when we can hardly breathe from the busy-ness of life. But we’ve definitely done staycations and planned outings each day. We used culture pass and did another free cultural site per day. There are so many free things to do: it doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg. |
Right so we can’t go away, so the situation is very different . And if I’m working we can’t do staycations. So that’s why it’s really hard. And at the end of an unstructured week even my hardest working kids are desperate to go back
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amother
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:06 pm
| amother Fuchsia wrote: | My kids go to school on Thanksgiving.
Chanukah they just get a long weekend.
Pesach travel? That's for wealthy people in hotel programs. I'm home cooking. My kids spend their break peeling potatoes.
Summer kids are in camp. Sometimes we get a family trip in too if we can find a week where nobody has camp, or to be getting ready for camp, or getting ready for school.
Winter break is when we take our best family trips. |
Ok so we have thanksgiving and Chanukah and winter and pesach (I’m talking about going to family, we don’t go anywhere fwiw).
So again, you are talking from someone who can take trips, we cannot take trips.
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amother
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:07 pm
| amother Antiquewhite wrote: | The more opportunities for family time the better. Your kids will grow up and you will miss these opportunities. Try to think how you can make this easier for you and your kids.
We can help perhaps. |
Well for one is how I can make up a weeks worth of pay. If you can help with that that’s step one.
Then how do I plan an entire week to keep them busy, mess free and not needing to eat every 5 minutes
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amother
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:08 pm
| amother Antiquewhite wrote: | The more opportunities for family time the better. Your kids will grow up and you will miss these opportunities. Try to think how you can make this easier for you and your kids.
We can help perhaps. |
I will miss opportunities for family bonding, not a week of unstructured fighting and messes.
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amother
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:08 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Sorry but week of unstructured time is not good for my mental health. I don’t think there is anything wrong with them. It doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy spending time. We love spending time, but a week unstructured is just constant fighting/ feeding/ cleaning. Zero to do with my relationship with my kids and our family relationships. |
Ok. That’s understandable it can definitely be a challenge. You can create the structure necessary perhaps. Would a schedule help?
Make a winter vacation bucket list collaboratively with your kids. It’s doesn’t need to break the bank. The goal is connections and good memories.
For your mental health can you schedule some you time every day. Have your spouse take over for a bit so you can take care of yourself.
Do trips that you enjoy as well so it’s enjoyable for all of you.
Prioritize cleaning help for that week and make simple non fussy meals so you don’t need to focus much on that.
Good luck and happy vacationing.
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amother
Saddlebrown
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:09 pm
| amother Antiquewhite wrote: | | I don’t have money to spend on vacation and wish my kids had a full week off to connect with them. It’s a gift if used properly. I’m eagerly looking forward to the few days they do have and wish it was a full week. |
Do you work?
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amother
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:09 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Sorry but week of unstructured time is not good for my mental health. I don’t think there is anything wrong with me. It doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy spending time. We love spending time, but a week unstructured is just constant fighting/ feeding/ cleaning. Zero to do with my relationship with my kids and our family relationships. |
Can we help you make a plan so there IS structure?
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amother
Pansy
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:09 pm
| amother Fuchsia wrote: | | Most people I know take a family vacation, or at least a staycation. I understand that this isn't possible for everyone, but most seem to be able to take at least a few days. In any case it's nice for kids and teachers to have a little break. I'm sorry this puts some families in a very difficult spot, but isn't it the same thing when summer comes around? |
But most just had a few days of chanuka off.
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amother
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Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:10 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Well for one is how I can make up a weeks worth of pay. If you can help with that that’s step one.
Then how do I plan an entire week to keep them busy, mess free and not needing to eat every 5 minutes |
For one thing: you have to get out of the house! Tell us where you live and what ages your kids are and we can help find activities.
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