When moms say “I just let her cry” 😤

amother

↑ Babypink ↓

Fri, Jan 03 2025, 11:13 am

amother Tanzanite wrote:

Please explain to me what I can do when I've needed the bathroom for the last 45 minutes, I'm about to burst, and there is no-one around to hold her. Yes, I will put her on the mat to cry for 5 minutes so I can take care of my needs.
Or yesterday, I don't know what her issue was, all she wanted was for me to hold her but I had hungry kids who needed to be fed, I kept pushing off making dinner hoping she would go to sleep but she refused. Eventually, I put her in her highchair in the kitchen and made dinner for everyone else. Yes she wasn't happy about it, I figured at least she can see me and I can talk to her while I'm cooking and it's too bad, but I can't hold her 24/7. Should my other young kids be hungry because their baby sister demands to be held?

haha exactly. or should I not give my baby tummy time because she kvetches and cries the whole time?

amother

↑ DarkRed ↓

Fri, Jan 03 2025, 1:12 pm

[quote="amother Babypink"]

amother DarkRed wrote:

That book is abusive. Don’t use that book as an example of good parenting.
I wish that book was banned.[/quote
which part is abusive? have u read it?

The whole premise of the book is outdated and abusive. Stretching feeds to every 4 hours is wrong and unfair to baby. It’s not good for a baby to be in a crib away from their mother for 12 hours at 4 months. It’s good for babies to be close to their mothers and demand feed.

Demand feeding is the gold standard by all medical establishments across the world.

It’s an outdated and awful book and it’s hard to understand how people follow it.

amother

↑ DarkRed ↓

Fri, Jan 03 2025, 1:13 pm

amother Acacia wrote:

I get what you mean OP, I hate it too. We all know there are exceptions etc. But the attitude for a mother to say "I need to take care of myself first", is the opposite of a mom. Too bad. Babies need you to be temporarily selfless. if you can't handle that. Birth control.
If you are a great mother but must have a full nights sleep, then you must get a baby nurse. No I can't afford one either, but then figure it out.
So many mental health issues today. I'm not saying it's because of letting a baby cry, it's the whole parenting attitude shift this generation.

This post should be pinned.

amother

↑ DarkRed

Fri, Jan 03 2025, 1:16 pm

amother Oatmeal wrote:

I can not tell if you are against sleep training of all kinds or just cio method. I am not going to give my opinion on cio. But I do think mothers who do not train their babies to sleep are doing a disservice to their child. If a 2 year old is still waking up sometimes multiple times, there is something wrong. It is not healthy for them. They need to be taught how to sleep. Just as you teach them other life skills, teach them how to sleep. From experience I can tell you that sleep training a younger child (say around 9 months) is much easier than training a 2 year old. This results in less overall crying on the childs part in the long run. I know from experience as well that some kids are much much much harder to train then others. It is still worthwhile to stick it out.

You don’t need to sleep train. Millions of baby never sleep train and they are just fine.

It’s a myth that it’s something you need to do or should do.

If sleep training involves ignoring baby and their needs and or letting them cry then it’s harmful to baby.

Encouraging people to stick out sleep training is encouraging them to ignore their babies needs, which is wrong.

If someone must sleep train they should use a gentle approach such as the “No Cry to Sleep Solution” by Elizabeth Pantley.

amother

Copper

Fri, Jan 03 2025, 2:02 pm

I’m very against letting babies cry. And YET - my baby didn’t sleep and we were so sleep deprived we’d wake up hearing him cry and fall back asleep by mistake. So he’d just lie there crying til we woke up again. We were that sleep deprived that we slept through some of the crying. I feel terrible but I “spoiled” him in every other way and he had the best attachment of any of my kids. (Nursed for a long time, would let him nap on top of me, lots of skin to skin etc.)
So not always are people letting babies cry on purpose.

amother

Topaz

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 8:22 pm

OP I would love to know if what makes you so agitated is only leaving baby to CIO until they fall asleep or also other sleep training methods such as checking in to calm baby and let them know you’re there every few minutes, or letting baby cry but staying there with them and reassuring them the whole time..

amother

↑ Oatmeal

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 9:24 pm

amother DarkRed wrote:

It is not healthy for kids to have interrupted sleep night after night. Many times if you don't teach a child they will not learn on their own. Not sleep training/teaching a child is a disservice to them. They end up crying at night (interrupting their sleep) resulting in more crying in the long run.