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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
amother
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 Yesterday at 4:15 pm
.. for shabbat with his friends?‘
Is it a thing that a few bochurim get together and just spend a Shabbat together in a rented apartment, without their families? While still in yeshiva high school so not yet 18 (or 17 for that matter)?
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amother
Impatiens
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Yesterday at 5:07 pm
It’s not ideal but it depends on your son and his situation.
My son did something like this although there was probably one boy in the group who was 18 since they couldn’t have rented the place to a minor. In my son’s situation I had to pick my battles and while I was definitely a bit worried it was the lesser of evils at that point.
I knew it was pointless to forbid him because he would have gone anyway.
When I showed an interest I was happy that he shared with me and gave me all the details of the planned weekend.
No, I would not encourage something like this but I understand how it would happen.
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amother
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Yesterday at 5:21 pm
That’s my reaction too…
But maybe I am not familiar with the culture
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amother
Lotus
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Yesterday at 5:31 pm
My oldest son asked me to do this in his first year Beis Medresh on an off shabbos, he was just about 18.
It was something new to me as dh and I come from backgrounds where bochurim generally don't do anything alone.
I asked around from my friends that have boys a few years older if this is something they've experienced with their kids. They said yes, as long as you are comfortable with the other boys that are joining and as long as they're aware it's a one off luxury not something done frequently.
You also need to know your kid and how responsible they are.
For my son it was wonderful and he has great memories.
I would not be comfortable though with younger boys.
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PinkFridge
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Yesterday at 5:33 pm
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I don't know what framework he's in but I doubt that yeshivos would be thrilled about it.
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Cheiny
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Yesterday at 6:11 pm
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No, but I don’t want my sons dorming either… anything they can do in an apt they’re probably already doing in the dorm.
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