Rosh chodesh sweaters -highschool girls

amother

Zinnia ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 6:13 am

The problem is not the school or the sweater!!
The problem is the girls who lack the self confidence to walk in with a sweater they already wore! The girls who feel pressured to wear a sweater with a name brand.
You can have this problem with anything that is not clearly part of the uniform! (think backpack, watch, coat, jewelry...)
You can't totally get rid of this and I think it's great for girls to be taught that not everyone will walk in with a new sweater or a designer one!!!
Give her the option to buy her own or wear one from her closet!
I have high school daughters and it was never an issue in my house!!
(Lakewood high school!)

amother

↑ Oatmeal

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 6:58 am

amother Navyblue wrote:

I live in Lakewood and I have a high school dd. I have never heard of such a thing!
In fact, my dd school has a rule that no other sweaters other than the school sweater can be worn

I thought all the lkwd HS schools did this that you can wear your own shirt on RC - or at least the ones I know girls in. I see among dd friends either they can’t be bothered so wear the uniform or they wear a sweater from their closet.

amother

Holly ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 7:07 am

amother Oatmeal wrote:

I know Oros does not allow your own shirt on RC
Only the uniform sweaters

Ema of 5 ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 7:23 am

amother Kiwi wrote:

We had them growing up in Brooklyn in the 90s-early 2000s. But sure every issue is a Lakewood one.

I don’t think that’s what she meant. It sound like OP is saying her daughter “needs” a NEW sweatshirt every month, not that she needs a special one to wear over and over on each Rosh Chodesh. Is that what you had? That you “needed” to buy a new one every month? Not sure how Lakewood got brought into this.

↑ Ema of 5

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 7:25 am

amother Impatiens wrote:

We had the pressure when I was in high school 20 yrs ago! I work in a popular Lakewood school and actually pleasantly surprised that most girls just wear uniform

A new one every month? Or just a special one that you only wore on Rosh Chodesh?

amother

Jade ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 7:29 am

Ema of 5 wrote:

A new one every month? Or just a special one that you only wore on Rosh Chodesh?

We had this pressure too, in bklyn around 15/18 years ago (wow I'm getting old!!)
It was definitely a pressure not to wear the same one for a few RC in a row, I remember that very clearly- keeping track of which I had worn, and it was noticeable if someone didn't have a few RC sweaters
But didn't need a new sweater for every RC, after 3 or 4 RC could wear one that already wore...

amother

Saddlebrown

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 7:30 am

My DD has this.
Luckily in our OOT community it's not a big deal if said RC sweater is not new or "the latest". In fact, she frequently will not even wear a special sweater or she wears the most pristine school sweater.

I do appreciate the advantages of living OOT in a small community! Kosher restaurants? Not really. Chill BY highschool, no gashmius-yep!

mommyhood

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 7:59 am

I don’t find it such a pressure. We buy a few new tops for Succos and a few new tops for Pesach because she needs clothing for vacation and chol hamoed and one of the things we think about when we shop is making sure the tops are appropriate for school events and Rosh Chodesh. I’ve never heard her say anything about not rewearing something. Obviously not 2 days in a row adults don’t do that either but a couple months later is a non issue.

amother

Peony ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 8:18 am

I was just going to post about this. It’s so stressful for the girls and their families. Who made up this a thing. It shows such a lack of intuition and understanding of teens.

amother

↑ Peony ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 8:19 am

amother Cream wrote:

Honestly, I think the RC sweater is way more social pressure than not having a uniform. It that need for it to be perfect because it’s your “only chance” and all eyes are on it. It’s a terrible idea.

Agree. It’s awful.

amother

↑ Peony ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 8:20 am

amother Amaryllis wrote:

So are you all saying every month the girls need a new sweater? If thats the case, id make her pay for it. Thats just ridiculous, every month.
Talk about gashmius at its worst.

That’s just punishing your daughter for a stupid school rule.

amother

↑ Peony ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 8:21 am

amother Scarlet wrote:

Have the same thing and not in Lakewood. Unfortunately, these girls are controlled in so many areas of their lives that this is one opportunity for them to break out of this mold for 30 seconds.

This doesn’t help them break out of a mold. This just creates stress and social pressure.

amother

↑ Peony ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 8:24 am

amother Zinnia wrote:

You are creating more stress for a girl. My daughter is very confident but this is causing her unnecessary stress. It’s socially off to rewear RC sweaters and it’s difficult to find and afford a new one every month.
There is a reason we have uniforms.
There is no reason to create extra stress in a teens life.
I wish the schools showed more awareness and understanding of the teens that they teach.

PinkFridge ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 8:28 am

amother Peony wrote:

I was just going to post about this. It’s so stressful for the girls and their families. Who made up this a thing. It shows such a lack of intuition and understanding of teens.

Wait. The schools give the girls the opportunity to wear something not uniform for R"Ch. Score for the school.
The pressure to wear a new sweater or top each time is certainly not coming from the schools or parents.

↑ PinkFridge ↓

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 8:29 am

amother Peony wrote:

Again, it's not the schools. Somewhere, it became a rule that you couldn't wear the same sweater twice in the same season. Let's get to the root of THAT. Sounds like a job for Penimi. The schools too. Maybe together. Faigy Zelcer, do you ever go slumming here?

amother

Anemone

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 8:35 am

Whoever said they had this in brooklyn growing up, must have gone to Machon. Thats the only school I can recall that did this. And I remember hearing the pressure from machon girls 20 years ago. But this wasnt a brooklyn thing across the board. And PPY let you wear shabbos clothing.

BH my girls in Brooklyn HS dont have this.

amother

Violet

Wed, Jan 01 2025, 8:52 am

amother Navyblue wrote:

I live in Lakewood and I have a high school dd. I have never heard of such a thing!
In fact, my dd school has a rule that no other sweaters other than the school sweater can be worn

If they have a rule that they need to wear the school sweater, they obviously aren't allowed to wear whatever sweater they want so there's obviously no peer pressure. How does this apply to the Lakewood schools that do allow any sweater and therefore have peer pressure???