How to tell tutor I'm not paying for the Chanukah party

OOTforlife

Yesterday at 8:15 am

watergirl wrote:

OP said this is a standardized prep tutor, not a regular math tutor or the like. These tutors are short term and very expensive. The relationship building they do is not the same as a regular tutor, and a chanukah party for the entire session is not appropriate or ethical. I'd be very frustrated if I spent that kind of money for my kid to chit-chat for the entire session without my prior knowledge.

Still I stand by my first comment on this thread - this is the kind of thing I'd try to get over and move past.

I agree with you on both counts. Yes, it is unprofessional and annoying. No, I wouldn't say anything the first time.

amother

Amber

Yesterday at 10:10 am

amother Aquamarine wrote:

Are you sure they really did zero learning? My kids sometimes exaggerate about stuff like that. I agree it's inappropriate to charge you if no learning took place.

I have no idea what the reality is but some years ago I gave my niece some children's education software that was intended to teach certain skills.

She didn't believe that it was "educational" because she was having so much fun "playing" it.

amother

Plum

Yesterday at 10:21 am

amother Molasses wrote:

Im a very conscientious tutor but I do only one on one tutoring and I am careful about every minute I spend with the child. I usually shmooze a little bit with them but the intention is that they feel comfortable and connected. I wouldn't do a Chanukah party or even take half the time to do a Chanukah game. However, here it sounds like a cross between tutoring and teaching a class. A few kids is already a group and when I taught I would definitely take time out for a Chanukah game and it was expected.

Even if what she did was not ok it would appear to have been done with good intentions. She went out of her way to buy these things for them out of her own pocket. So even if you don't approve you need to look away. You can let her know next Chanukah beforehand that you don't want to have to pay for a session where they aren't learning.

I am also a private tutor (one on one) that is very careful about not wasting time. And yes I agree with everu word above. Do not ruin the relationship. Also, FYI, where I live tutors often get tipped chanuka time the price of a week's worth of tutoring (not always, bit often). So consider that covered.

Simple1

Yesterday at 10:38 am

I could see both sides. Tutoring cost a lot of money that we squeeze into our budget. Maybe she should next time ask parents how they feel about it beforehand . But your daughter probably enjoyed it and it’s best to let it go.

I like the above poster’s idea that she weaves learning into light activities. Maybe your daughter’s tutor did that.