Can’t afford Chanukah gifts for the kids 😢

amother

↑ Cappuccino

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 7:53 pm

amother Burntblack wrote:

Then that's not the world YOU live in.

Im 40. I've gotten Chanukah presents from my parents and grandparents my whole life.
My husband also.

My mother is 65. She got presents from her parents and grandparents her whole life.
My mil did also
My fil was not frum, raised by survivors. He got gelt from his parents and survivor uncles.

So yes, I give gifts.

My kids have at times made lists for grandparents at the grandparents request. Mainly because the grandparents want to give something they know the child will appreciate without disclosing the budget. So my kid will write fire truck, toolset, CD, blocks and the grandparents will choose something from that list within their budget.

Just because you don't do gifts doesn't mean you need to knock and criticize OP.

I'm 32 and never got chanuka presents and never gave to my kids (oldest is 10)
I'm not knocking OP but I will say I'm grateful that chanuka presents are not a thing in my family and I won't get stuck in sticky situations like OP is dealing with

amother

Coffee

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 11:44 pm

I don't have time to read through the thread...maybe someone else already suggested this. But when it comes to teens I don't always do material gifts. I usually do scratch-off cards with good stuff and chores on them. We play dreidel or some other similar game and they get cards instead of money. At the end, they get to trade, not knowing what's underneath each sticker. Then they scratch off and see what they got.
I have all sorts of things like "I will drive you to school one day" to "unload the dishwasher". They always tell me that this is the highlight of their chanukah no matter what else I end up doing or they end up getting.

Hatzlacha.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 11:55 pm

amother Coffee wrote:

That’s such a cute idea!! Ty

amother

Seashell

Tue, Dec 24 2024, 1:44 am

amother Grape wrote:

another idea that’s gone over well: the company dash makes very cute mini appliances. most are btwn 10-20. mini soft serve ice cream maker (makes individual portion) it’s 19.99. and they have mini popcorn maker. there are mini waffle makers. would ur teens be excited to get those? they look adorable. and then it also doubles as a fun chanukah activity. you sit and whip up yummy stuff to eat and then play a game or wtvr. I know thts not $5 so not sure you could swing it but its very cute and very appreciated with the girls and has a lot of fun use. think motzei shabbos with their friends etc. so suggesting it if its doable for you and useful. good luck! and I hope your situation turns around for the better real soon!

Amazon has a mini blender for 15 bucks looks adorable!

amother

Sapphire

Tue, Dec 24 2024, 3:07 am

amother Copper wrote:

I don't mean to be inconsiderate or rude or insensitive, and I feel for your financial difficulties. We also struggle financially. But....
This literally sounds like Xmas to me. Kids have lists of what they want, and they expect gifts? And not having money for "Chanuka gifts" is a sad thing to cry over? A yearly necessity? A given? It literally sounds like lists for santa, each child expecting an Official Big Chanuka Gift.
And I'm reminded yet again of why I'm happy we don't do this in our family.
Sorry to be blunt. It had to be said.

Nope it doesn’t have to be said. You literally just posted on her thread that your family is better because you don’t do gifts…..

I am a BT and when my kids were young we went to a rebbe in boro park and discussed Chanukah. He advised us to buy the kids gifts every night so they wouldn’t feel they were missing out on all the family time and parties etc. Over the years we also started doing lists especially as my kids got to the teen years because it made things easier for me. My kids in general always have a running wishlist which I use to shop from for birthdays Chanukah, graduation and anything else that involves gift giving. Nothing to do with Xmas or Santa.

I am also struggling this year and we won’t be doing gifts for the first time in over 15 years. I don’t think it will be a big deal because bh my kids have all the things they need. I got a lot of great ideas from this thread and I am quite confident my kids will have a nice Chanukah either way.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Dec 24 2024, 9:37 am

amother Sapphire wrote:

Ty so much for this!!

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Dec 24 2024, 9:56 am

I too am having a hard time buying gifts so I’m going to do what I’ve done the past few yrs. I do activities every night. Sometimes we do paint night, mini cake decorating, movie night… and I set it up rlly cutely and the kids get soooo excited! I’ve realized they enjoy that more than gifts! And for winter break I look at air bnb or hotels and anything under 100 I’ll book for 1 night. It’s exciting and we do stuff to make sure to make it very special!

B'Syata D'Shmya

Tue, Dec 24 2024, 1:13 pm

Hope things get better. Until then, could you pick one small thing on each ones list and buy that? even if it means cutting back on something else. But only do this if you can do it for each of your children, it has to be across the board.
For your spouse give cute coupons. Let the kids see that a present that cant be returned/exchanged can also be cherished.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 5:23 pm

Just wanted to give an update.
Even after seeing all your amazing ideas, I was still feeling sad about the fact that I couldn’t afford gifts. I asked Hashem to please give me some money so that I can buy them each at least one gift.
This morning my husband had a flat tire, it couldnt be plugged and he needed a brand new tire. I was very upset and I thought “Hashem I asked YOU to give ME money, not to take away more money from me”
And then I thought “the same way Hashem gave us a flat tire and took away money from us in a split second, He can also give me money in a split second”
A few hours later, I got a nice bonus from work.
Thank you Hashem! I can now buy my kids one nice gift!

amother

Hibiscus

Yesterday at 6:02 pm

amother OP wrote:

Wow ! Bh!!
I didnt open this thread earlier because it was just to painful. My kids are used to getting chanuka gifts and we just dont have the money for it this yr. Today a relative of mine offered to help pay for a bunch of items that we really needed.I asked if we could include chanuka gifts for my kids and the answer was YES! Thank you hashem!

amother

↑ OP

Yesterday at 6:05 pm

amother Hibiscus wrote:

Wow!!! So happy for u!!!!

rainbow dash

Yesterday at 6:12 pm

Wow that's amazing, bh a happy ending.
We also can't afford gifts for everyone for 8 days. I brought a rummikub game box for 6 people. Cost 40 eu. So it works out 7 eu each person.

I'll definitely try to do the different activities every night.

Bh we have family here so my ils are coming Friday night and I'm making a party sun for the family.

I will probably give everyone cash to do what they want.

amother

↑ Grape

Yesterday at 6:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

this is so amazing thank you for taking the time to update! I’m so happy for you! freilichen chanukah!