Say something nice

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:05 pm

I’m really bothered by this .
I’ve noticed that there are many ppl who can say something nice but don’t . Ppl don’t give compliments to others anymore ..
I feel like ppl forgot how to be nice to others .
It’s always nice to be complimented , I like your shoes , dress so flattering on you , such a pretty color on you etc
I think when someone compliments another person , it really makes that person feel better about themselves . Less doubting and rethinking their whole life . They just feel good . The rest of their day will be a whole lot better .
I try to compliment friends /neighbors /family when I see them. And I’m really genuine about it . But I don’t get back. No that I compliment so someone will say something nice to me , just makes me feel like am I not good enough ? Not pretty ? Am I off ? Etc
I think ladies appreciate compliments more than men and it’s so important for us ladies to receive them . I don’t live for them . Just curious why ppl don’t “see something nice ,say something nice “
????

amother

Leaf ↓

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:11 pm

I hate getting compliments. Especially when someone compliments something I don't like. Like when I grab the dress I hate out of the closet because I need to wear something, and someone says they love it, I have to lie and pretend they didn't just accidentally insult me.

amother

Burntblack ↓

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:13 pm

Someone just complimented my sheitel and said it looked freshly ser. I said it was I had set it that morning. She was so impressed that I do it myself, and it made me feel do good!!! You're right, it carried me for the next day!!

Yes, I do try to compliment. Like if I see a friend having a great parenting interaction or she tells me.how she went above and beyond for a.child, I will say, wow you're A great mother.

I try to compliment when someone does a good job.

Im not good at complimenting people for looking good so much, though sometimes I'll compliment a pretty top etc. I just don't notice it as much.

But thanks for the reminder!!! Lets all try to give a few compliments tomorrow!

amother

Eggplant ↓

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:15 pm

I compliment others on a regular basis, but I don’t live in-town.
On this site, I have learned that it is inappropriate. It is creepy, you are hitting on them, giving them an even hara, being passive aggressive and really insulting them, jealous, making them self conscious, flirting (I know I already said hitting on), ,weirding them out, and all things evil.

B”H I don’t live in the big 3.

ETA-and look at the comments above posted while I was typing.

amother

↑ Eggplant ↓

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:18 pm

amother Leaf wrote:

You know that is insane. It is a compliment. How in the world did they just accidentally insult you? I really fail to understand.

amother

↑ Leaf ↓

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:20 pm

amother Eggplant wrote:

You know that is insane. It is a compliment. How in the world did they just accidentally insult you? I really fail to understand.

If I'm wearing a dress I hate, then anyone who compliments it is insulting my taste.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:21 pm

amother Burntblack wrote:

I think sometimes we don't compliment because we are insecure ourselves, not sure how it will be received, etc.

And I think if we compliment others and get complimented it will boost your self esteem .
Someone said I was beautiful - my face complexion etc
I never heard anyone call me beautiful except my kids /husband ( I feel like they do just to be nice lol ) and hearing that from someone outside family was soooo nice . Made me feel more confident and reall feel beautiful. Like I’m more comfortable in my own skin .

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:23 pm

amother Leaf wrote:

If I'm wearing a dress I hate, then anyone who compliments it is insulting my taste.

I hear that
But you might hate bc it’s old or wtvr
But another woman might love the way it looks on you or she might like the colors /design /style .
I think a compliment might make u less hard on yourself , unless there’s a specific reason u absolutely don’t like the dress .

amother

Phlox

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:26 pm

If I know the mindset of the person giving the compliment is that they think that because I'm a woman I must need external validation, I don't want to hear it.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:27 pm

amother Eggplant wrote:

This is sad.
We don’t Compliment , just stare and sometimes that makes a woman feel insecure (she’s looking at me - is my makeup on wrong ? Do I look bad in this ? Etc )
I wish you would say something nice to me - it would reall make me feel better and get through my day .
You never know what your good word can do to someone - it might change their idea of a suicide .
Chas vashalom- not thinking that but u never know what ppl are going through and u might just change that for the better .

amother

↑ Eggplant ↓

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:27 pm

amother Leaf wrote:

If I'm wearing a dress I hate, then anyone who compliments it is insulting my taste.

Then why did you buy it in the first place?
Seems like a very harsh emotion. And when they say they like it, maybe they like the color, the fabric, the fit….. please don’t take it as a personal insult. And it you hate it that much, maybe donate it and take it out of your closet altogether.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:28 pm

amother Eggplant wrote:

Totally agree .
Better to wear something that you feel amazing in . Clothes you wear should make you feel better , not worse .

amother

↑ Leaf ↓

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:30 pm

amother Eggplant wrote:

Oh, fancypants rich McGee over here,

ETA:

I guess people here don't get the reference.

Point is, if I get rid of the dress I wear because I have to wear something, I will have to stay home for tznius reasons.

amother

↑ Eggplant ↓

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

If I saw you I would compliment you! Definitely. I try to compliment everyone I see (without it being too often and feeling rote) . But as I said, I don’t live in Brooklyn, Monsey, or Lakewood.

amother

Trillium ↓

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:36 pm

amother Eggplant wrote:

This was so irrelevant to the post. Yet it’s almost like oot have a quota to randomly say something bad about in town and a day can’t go past without multiple attacks for no reason. How are you the good one when you have no issue attacking out of no where.

amother

↑ Trillium ↓

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:37 pm

amother Eggplant wrote:

If I saw you I would compliment you! Definitely. I try to compliment everyone I see (without it being too often and feeling rote) . But as I said, I don’t live in Brooklyn, Monsey, or Lakewood.

And it shows. Brooklyn, Monsey and Lakewood don’t spend all day obsessing about attacking as many communities as they can name.

amother

Wheat ↓

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:41 pm

amother Eggplant wrote:

If I saw you I would compliment you! Definitely. I try to compliment everyone I see (without it being too often and feeling rote) . But as I said, I don’t live in Brooklyn, Monsey, or Lakewood.

Because that's where the bad bad people are. No one ever gets complimented in these 3 special cities.
lets see how many times you will say youre OOT on this thread.

amother

↑ Eggplant

Mon, Dec 23 2024, 10:48 pm

What can I tell you, I only know what I read here, and that is what I have learned on this site. I wouldn’t have thought it, but have read it here, time and time again.

amother

↑ Leaf ↓

Tue, Dec 24 2024, 12:05 am

amother OP wrote:

You never know what your good word can do to someone - it might change their idea of a suicide .
Chas vashalom- not thinking that but u never know what ppl are going through and u might just change that for the better .

But you have no idea what I'm going through, and I find most compliments demeaning.

And you think that's weird, so now I have to either be judged or lie and awkwardly go along with it even if it makes me want to die.