Do you work because you have to or because you want to?

amother

Whitesmoke ↓

Yesterday at 1:06 pm

Honestly this is kind of a pointless question.

With very few exceptions, people work because they need the money or they are careful people and so they want to make sure they can provide for themselves if something terrible happens.

If money is really no object there are so many other valid and fulfilling things to do for which you don't earn an income.

I have several friends who inherited a huge sum of money and so they quit working to "make money". Both parents and they pursued their interests; did volunteer work;; were able to parent their children; traveled and essentially live wonderful fulfilling lives. Their prior jobs weren't terrible as they were professionals with relatively interesting jobs but not working was much better than working.
The only people I "know" who continued to work when it was no longer economically necessary were extremely high level executives for whom the income was secondary to the ego and the prestige or college professor who remained because the job was extremely easy and intellectually fulfilling.

amother

Topaz

Yesterday at 1:14 pm

DH earned enough from the start of our marriage that I didn’t have to work, but I learned early on that if I want to have any sort of financial freedom I needed to earn my own money. He is just too controlling, and anything he didn’t understand or agree with he felt he had the final say since it was “his” money.

So I worked, and my entire salary went towards things I wanted. Clothes, vacations, eating out, but also things like store bought bread (vs making my own like DH wanted) or some other basics that DH disagreed with.

amother

↑ Whitesmoke ↓

Yesterday at 1:16 pm

amother Topaz wrote:

You needed to work.

If you had inherited a lot of money or other large financial windfall, you probably wouldn't have worked 🤷🏼‍♀️

amother

↑ Cinnamon ↓

Yesterday at 1:18 pm

amother Daphne wrote:

Are you including divorce as one of the sacrifices? Dh refused to get a job until I threatened to leave him after my second kid. I still always had to work part time after dh reluctantly took a job, but he keeps trying to pressure me to work full time. When I point out that someone has to be available for the school bus, he claims there are ways around it.

No, your situation was an extreme one where I would not really categorize you as working “by choice”.

amother

↑ Cinnamon ↓

Yesterday at 1:21 pm

amother Currant wrote:

This is interesting
Can you say more?

Meaning if she really didn't want to , he would go to work or find a something bringing in an Income?

Yes, meaning that she is actively making the choice to work in order to support her husband in kollel, instead of her husband being the one working.

amother

↑ Whitesmoke ↓

Yesterday at 1:22 pm

amother Cinnamon wrote:

I think she means social pressure to have certain things that they wouldn’t be able to afford without her income.

And again this is a decision driven by economics as someone wants a lifestyle that needs a certain income level.

Per my original post, with certain very limited exceptions, the people I know who truly have sufficient assets/wealth to support their lifestyles without working don't work and live very fulfilling lives without the need for a paycheck.

amother

↑ Cinnamon

Yesterday at 1:29 pm

amother Whitesmoke wrote:

I guess it depends how you define the term “need”. Because my opinion is the exact opposite from yours. I think that she is the classic example of someone who doesn’t NEED to work, but is working out of a societal pressure to afford things that she does not truly consider “needs”. I think that it’s clear by her tone that if she lived in a different community without the same social pressure, she wouldn’t work.

In my opinion, there are many women feel they need to work, while other women in their financial situation who have different values than they do, would not see working as a need.

amother

↑ Sapphire

Yesterday at 1:34 pm

amother Cinnamon wrote:

I think she means social pressure to have certain things that they wouldn’t be able to afford without her income.

Interesting, I hear that.
In addition to the other posters that elaborated on it. Having extra money for things like wants- ( that I guess became needs) doesn't hurt...

amother

Snowdrop ↓

Today at 4:32 pm

amother Nasturtium wrote:

My husband salary can cover our monthly expenses bh. I work because our kids are young and now is the time for us to save. I know I will stop working eventually. As long as it's not too hard on me/my family I will work so we can save. Is that considered wanting to or have to?

I'm kind of in the same boat, but with older children, and not really for savings so much as my money will go for bigger purchases that we want/need? Like wigs, couches etc and the nice things in life that I want, plus what clothing we need. I pay for most of our clothes. I don't feel guilty if I splurge a bit because I've earnt it. BH my dh's income covers everything, but we basically live month to month, but that's with paying full tuition and paying back house debt. We had an extension a couple of years ago, and didn't remortgage for it. So interest free loans from family etc which he's paying off too.
The only savings we have at the moment are towards an upcoming Simcha iyH. Otherwise no savings which is a bit of a worry. I want him to start soon for marrying off the kids. Once the extension has been paid off in full, plus we have a nice savings account then I'll probably only then stop working.. I'm only working part time at the moment.

I voted for have to.

I definitely don't want to. I have a chronic disease now which is hard for me but I've taken more help and bh I'm managing with using some cuts in the kitchen etc too. Like buying a lot of pre made foods etc. It's still worth it for me to work. I make a lot of food from scratch too just to supplement I buy.

amother

↑ Snowdrop

Today at 4:38 pm

DrMom wrote:

I mean, in theory we could get by in my DH's salary, but we are a lot more comfortable this way.

And I'd go crazy as a SAHM.

This, except I'd love to be a sahm! I'd definitely spend a lot more money if I had mornings free.

I like the nice things in life so I have to keep working for now.

amother

↑ Holly

Today at 5:30 pm

amother Whitesmoke wrote:

We have enough money to support our (not very extravagant) lifestyle, but I work because I can't justify sitting at home all day wasting time. I also do volunteer work, which I did before I went back to work. I work part time so that, among other reasons, I should have time and koach to do this volunteer work.

amother

Hosta

Today at 7:56 pm

I think many women can theoretically not work and are working for a higher standard of living. If someone really wants to be a SAHM, she can serve simple suppers, make everything homemade, hand me downs for her kids, etc. But let's be realistic, very few of us are willing to live that way.

I work because I have to, but really I also work because I want to live at a certain standard. I work extra hours to pay for occassional take out, cleaning help, decent clothing for my kids, etc etc etc.

amother

↑ Whitesmoke

Today at 8:10 pm

I don’t understand why people think that not doing work one is paid to do would be boring.

I was fortunate to inherit a lot of money as well as making some very lucrative investments so there is absolutely no reason for me to work for a salary.

I can afford to pay for others to do the boring aspects of being a wife and mother and I get to do exactly what gives me the most pleasure and emotional satisfaction.

And my work wasn’t terrible but certainly not something I would do without a paycheck and an economic motivation which realistically includes being able to afford a comfortable lifestyle