Chanukah tips for rebbi

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 7:31 pm

amother Oxfordblue wrote:

We gave $250 this year per rebbi from maaser
https://outorah.org/p/110933/

We’ve asked in the past and were told that we can not use maaser for this

amother

Glitter

Yesterday at 7:35 pm

amother Oxfordblue wrote:

We gave $250 this year per rebbi from maaser
https://outorah.org/p/110933/

Good for you but that's probably way too excessive for most people.

amother

↑ DarkPurple

Yesterday at 7:35 pm

amother Oxfordblue wrote:

We gave $250 this year per rebbi from maaser
https://outorah.org/p/110933/

How do you know the rebbe is poor and needs tzedaka?

Also IMHO by you giving so much of your maaser money you make ppl who are scrimping and saving to give, and give much less, look cheap

amother

↑ Oxfordblue ↓

Yesterday at 7:41 pm

amother DarkPurple wrote:

How do you know the rebbe is poor and needs tzedaka?

Also IMHO by you giving so much of your maaser money you make ppl who are scrimping and saving to give, and give much less, look cheap

I posted a source from the OU about using maaser for this

I have a lot of hakaras hatov for the rebbeim and feel they deserve every penny

I don’t think it makes sense to give less so that others don’t look cheap. Hopefully the rebbeim understand people are giving whatever they can. (I also pay full tuition and give tzedakah to the school,.)

amother

DarkGray ↓

Yesterday at 7:43 pm

Sorry.
I give $20 and a small chocolate thing.
English teachers get $10 a chocolate. (Lakewood boys. Boys have Rebbi 28 hours a week, English teacher 8 hours a week).
Bus drivers get chocolate.

With all that it's $140 plus chocolate. That's money I'll have to find, or pray that my boss gives me any sort of cash bonus. Last year, he have me a donut.

I know it's less than most. It's the best I can do
I hope the Rebbeim don't look at me wrong.

amother

↑ Oxfordblue

Yesterday at 7:44 pm

amother OP wrote:

We’ve asked in the past and were told that we can not use maaser for this

We looked into it and it seems ok at least according to some opinions. But we’d have tried to give $250 regardless. We have two sons so 2 rebbeim.

Other years we did not give from maaser, we try to give minimum $100 but more if we can.

amother

Peru

Yesterday at 7:48 pm

amother Chartreuse wrote:

We give 100$ for main rebbi. I think that this is pretty standard in Lakewood.

I don’t think there’s a clear standard in Lakewood. For some people, $100 is quite high and for some it’s quite low. Rly depends on what yeshiva you send to and its social circles.

When we started yeshiva system 6 years ago we were told $50 was super low end $100 was generous but most people gave generously. At this time, $100 is considered low end and $150-200 is standard.

We really base it off child/rebbi. For a superb Rebbi who goes out of his way for our child, or a particular child that is more difficult, we give $250. Otherwise we give $180/200. We do give from Maaser so it feels like tzedaka given in the right form. The rabbeim grossly rely on these funds.

I have a crazy amount of hakaras hatov to my kids rabbeim. I could never do what they do and I want to shower them with gratitude.

hello 1

Yesterday at 7:49 pm

amother DarkPurple wrote:

How do you know the rebbe is poor and needs tzedaka?

Also IMHO by you giving so much of your maaser money you make ppl who are scrimping and saving to give, and give much less, look cheap

Why should the rebbe lose out because of what you feel?

This is their bonus - and well deserved. If that’s what OP is able to give - why tell her to give less?
Everyone does what they can/cannot do.

amother

↑ OP

Yesterday at 7:56 pm

I’ve always given $100 in the past. But this year I honestly don’t have an extra penny. Struggling to pay my mortgage and groceries.
If I was able to give maaser, I would love to. But we were told that we can’t

amother

Mustard

Yesterday at 9:31 pm

We're a kollel family trying our best to save up for a house, my husband works 3 jobs and learns 3 sedarim. I give 50 for chanuka and 50 for Purim for our son's rebbi.

amother

Nectarine

Yesterday at 10:02 pm

We gave $50 to each rebbi but this year I only have 2 boys in elementary school.
Give what you can afford!
(If you can't afford much, I think minimum is $18!)

amother

↑ DarkGray

Yesterday at 10:06 pm

amother Nectarine wrote:

We gave $50 to each rebbi but this year I only have 2 boys in elementary school.
Give what you can afford!
(If you can't afford much, I think minimum is $18!)

Just pointing out that a family with 5 boys, $18 can be not doable. Especially once you hit Mesivta age and boys have at least 2 Rebbeim.
In this economy, I just wish we'd stop pushing the "minimum" conversation and make it ok to not give if you can't.

I know so many friends who are scrambling. Maybe cutting a meal or two, waiting longer for that Dr visit and copay, holding off on the electric bill because they feel like they need to give hundreds of dollars to the Rebbeim and teachers as a bare minimum.

amother

PlumPink

Yesterday at 10:06 pm

We are planning on giving $50 this year. We were told by a very mainstream yeshivish rav we are allowed to use maaser. (You can’t pay tuition with maaser but this is diff)

Maybe ask another rav if you can use maaser.