Spinoff tuition thre... I am not some magical mythical being

amother

↑ Pistachio

Yesterday at 9:27 pm

amother Lightcoral wrote:

While I personally don't believe in working full time and being a shmatta for your family, I would just love to know who you all think is going to pay for your kids schooling?
I've been on both sides of the coin and I think bottom line is that kids need a functional parent. But I really do want to know, where do people think the school is going to get their money from? Would love to hear a real answer.
For those of you getting sick every 2 weeks, or having a breakdown and taking off for 9 months, I've totally been there. But what did you do so your kids could get a Jewish education?

(In my case my DH got a second job working the whole night on Motzei Shabbos and Sunday night for 3 out of 4 weeks a month - that was how we paid tuition, our school didn't give us the option of just saying, my wife needs her health to take care of our family).

Same as you basically. DH works really really hard. Not a second job, but spends many hours at the office, or working at home- yes Motzai Shabbos, evenings, legal holidays... (He's growing his business, so maybe one day work less hours I"H!) I also work, but very part time. I actually know a lot of people with a similar set up and it works pretty well.

amother

↑ Lightcoral

Yesterday at 9:37 pm

Interesting, that's good to know. I personally don't have any friends who have the same setup. I see here that women writing that they can't work b/c it's bad for their health, and they can't handle it - I totally get it, I've been there. I'm just really curious what those people's solutions are. So this answers it somewhat.

amother

↑ Midnight ↓

Today at 2:30 am

OP, I'm going to ask you again, (I asked before but got no reply) how do you take kids to weekly appointments that are only during school hours when working full time. Are you able to take off a few hours and then make it up in the evening?

amother

↑ Honey

Today at 5:50 am

amother Pistachio wrote:

Dh works a second job (nights and weekends) and makes about what I use to make in my full time job since his skills are much better than mine. Schools never asked why I'm not working. I don't sit at home sipping lattes. I don't have cleaning help, don't send to babysitters/day care, do all the carpools and appts. He could be looking in the fridge and see antibiotic and thats how he'll find out I was at the pediatrician 3x that week with sick kids. He comes home and expects his regular dinners between camp and school.. Chanuka vacation ect (not in a bad way, he just has no clue when the kids vacations are)

amother

↑ Navyblue

Today at 5:59 am

amother Midnight wrote:

Not OP but if my kid has an appointment I would have to take off work same way they take off school.
My husband's job is more flexible so he can do it most of the time. (Dentist appointments, well visits for older kids)
Other appointments that I feel they need me for I would take off work.

amother

↑ Midnight ↓

Today at 6:08 am

amother Navyblue wrote:

Ok so I have two kids who need weekly appointments during school hours only. Even working part time I find it very hard, I try to schedule the appointments as first of the day, but that’s 9am, and then after the appointment and dropping them off at school and going to work I’m not getting to work until 11. And that’s if the early appointment is available.
Just trying to figure out how I can work full time with this

amother

↑ Seashell

Today at 7:59 am

amother Lightcoral wrote:

I’m not paying tuition yet so I don’t know for sure. But I’m just doing my best. I’m not on Ang programs or CHS or charity. I’m working 30+ hours a week and I have a good job, with upward mobility. My husband will probably start working before we need to pay tuition. It’s not like I’m completely relying on faith, but yes, I do my best and Hashem does the rest.

heidi

Today at 10:53 am

Wow OP, thanks for saying it like it is!!
I have no issue with people not working, but it bothers me when they say they can't. Or they need cleaning help.
I have cleaning help and work part time.
If I had to, I could definitely work full time and have no cleaning help.
I would be unhappy. Maybe very unhappy. But if that's what we had to do to survive I would do it.
I truly cannot understand the mindset of people who take tzedaka - and tuition breaks are tzedaka in every sense of the word- and then say they can't work.
What does that even mean?

amother

↑ Midnight

Today at 10:58 am

heidi wrote:

It means that not everyone has someone to watch their kids, that not everyone has the same stamina, that not everyone deals with the same life circumstances