This is why I don't bring you...

amother

↑ Alyssum

Today at 2:30 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Seems there is a power struggle around food (this is very common).
I would recommend Supernanny and other experts in the field.
A kid should be warned stating eew regarding food is not acceptable. If it happensagain kid is to leave the table immediately and straight to bed. No alternatives, no snacks, nothing.
You are the parent. It's time to take charge. You are not a restaurant!

Sending a child to bed hungry is absolutely aweful and unacceptable. It's considered child abuse in some countries and if I knew of someine doing that regularly I would call CPS on them. Parents are obligated to fulfill their kids basic needs. FOOD is one of them!

OP there are many more details coming out from your posts. Your kids with sensory issues would benefit from occupational therapy maybe? Sensory issues apply to other areas aswell not just food...might help with food in the long run
Some kids hate when different kind of food touches eachother. You can easily avoid that. One wants sauce, one doesn't etc. There are plates which have separated areas for example. Might make it more appealing.
Also you can offer the dinner before mixing it together. Let's say burgers. One takes only the patty, one only the meat whatever. They can just take it like a buffet. This way you are making one dinner but everyone only eats what they want.

↑ dankbar ↓

Today at 3:14 pm

Your husband needs to know that feeding a large family adequately costs lots of money.

How much money does he allow for food costs weekly?

Although every family has different needs, and different localities differ in pricing, if we know how much that is, we can tell you if it's in the norms, or get a sense fir yourself how much is average that it costs, so then you can portray to your husband, that you're not overspending on food, but that this how much it costs to feed a family.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 5:00 pm

amother Powderblue wrote:

Meatsauce and pasta is a yummy and filling supper. It’s easy and kid friendly, serve that with a vegetable on the side and you have a great supper. Use a kid friendly shape pasta.
Add ketchup and brown sugar to the marinara sauce to make it more kid friendly.

*I* know that it's yummy. I have kids who aren't convinced, some who hate tomato sauce. I have kids who don't like most "yummy" foods. I'm left scratching my head. And it's like we don't have the time, money and energy to waste on food that kids won't eat and then we have to still make them a different supper like a sandwich or even cereal.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 5:04 pm

dankbar wrote:

So that's the thing he does and in his mind the "budget" is only the bare minimum that he spends and then he gets frustrated that the kids don't eat the suppers that we have available. So I try to go with him or myself to get the kids foods that they will eat, and then he's critical about how much is being spent.

↑ MommyPhD ↓

Today at 5:24 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Working FT doesn't mean one earns a lot. You need to live within your means. OP isn't living within her means since she has debt.
OP could benefit from financial consultation (mesila?) and see where the money goes and creating a budget.
To say "all the other parents can afford XYZ, why can't we?" is not mature. All the other parents may work in high paying field and have less kids and therefore they can afford.

We have a substantial amount of medical debt because of our special needs child. That doesn't mean we aren't "living within our means." It means we incurred unavoidable debt that was outside our control, unlike just putting random stuff on a credit card and accumulating it that way. It could be her debts are something like that.. I don't subscribe to the Dave Ramsey line of thinking on debt, that you absolutely cannot spend money until it's paid down. Groceries are nonnegotiable. I can't just not buy groceries because we have out-of-pocket costs from hospital stays.

↑ MommyPhD

Today at 5:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

We both work full time, I do have full-access to our finances.I know where the money is going, but not sure why everyone else affords things that we can't. I really don't get it.

This wasn't about what we can afford, it's about his expectation vs reality. I can't make food without buying food, but when I get the foods my kids will eat he complains that the bill goes up.

Sounds like a difficult situation.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Today at 5:40 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

Please reread what I said. There's no need to be dramatic

I stated that saying eew isn't accepted and you give kids a warning saying it's not acceptable and if you do at again you will leave table and Fl straight to bed. This is *a warning*. The child has a choice. If he still says eew there will be consequences and you follow through.
If he doesn't say eew there will be no consequence.

amother

↑ OP

Today at 6:03 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

Yes, I know that he would benefit from OT, its not easy to get where we live, if you haven't figured it out by now we do not live in the NY tri-state area, we don't have easy access to many things like in NY. He HAS been in speech in his whole life and even school based services primarily focus on academic skills and to get feeding therapy it has to go through insurance and I took one of my kids for feeding therapy and it was like $200 per 30 min session.

As for foods touching, I'm talking about foods like "lasagna" or "mac and cheese" Or "noodles with meat sauce" which are combined foods. I can't get my kids to eat combined foods. I already serve the foods buffet style.

↑ familyfirst

Today at 6:32 pm

OP-
There are a lot of explanations here. All valid. Bottom line is that your kids could be eating more healthily if the proper foods were provided.

This is where your binah yisera comes in. Get the healthy foods for your kids.

And iyh things will get easier. Your kids will grow up a little and help out more. 6 or 7 kids under age ten is a handful. You’re amazing just to survive.

Good luck with the food situation. Get the foods you need. Get the breads you need for kids to make sandwiches if they don’t like dinner.

↑ Bnei Berak 10

Today at 6:40 pm

amother OP wrote:

As for foods touching, I'm talking about foods like "lasagna" or "mac and cheese" Or "noodles with meat sauce" which are combined foods. I can't get my kids to eat combined foods. I already serve the foods buffet style.

OP, the whole dynamic is a power struggle and control. You need to make it stop.