This is why I don't bring you...

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 1:33 am

Raizle wrote:

Ok this is the thing. Maybe I'm forgetting what little kids eat but meals made up of mainly carbs and starches are going to lead to hungry kids who snack more.
What do they have for protein besides yoghurt sometimes and chicken for Shabbos? Are you not giving protein because of financials constraints or because they don't like it?
Protein makes you less hungry and is important for their nutrition.

A full meal should have protein, complex carbohydrates and some vegetables.

Of course they will want more snacks, they are hungry without balanced meals

Believe me I try to add in proteins--I have some real sensory eaters. I usually try to add in cheese, fake meat/impossible meat/ but some of them are VERY not interested. I'm open to suggestions but short of locking up the cabinets--which I don't think is a reasonable approach either, they are going to eat what they are going to eat. They know that if they don't like the supper they can make themselves a sandwich.

Of course we're not a "restaurant" but I think having options within the supper is normal, or if 5/6 will eat some part of a rice/tortilla/fake meat/cheese/guacamole/salsa supper, but 1 child will.not.eat. it. or most will eat "spaghetti" and one will.not.touch.it. Then they need something else to eat.

Another thing is that we can go all out and make "spaghetti and meatballs" or "tuna noodle casserole" or even "franks and blanks"--and then my kids don't eat it either. I have 1 kid who likes potato kugel. We tried making lots of different foods for Thanksgiving Shabbos--I made cranberry-apple kugel which came out REALLY yummy, pumpkin pie from scratch, savory sweet potatoes. They wouldn't touch them, so my husband just isn't interested in wasting his time on foods that the kids won't eat.

They are generally healthy kids--both weight and immunity wise. I have seen picky eaters turn around later on, so I'm not going to die on this hill right now. I am trying to provide a variety of foods and my husband chooses to critique my choices when we go shopping together. I'm just not sure what he expects? There needs to be balance--because right, if they arent' getting the foods they want they will keep snacking. But trying to strike a balance nutritionally and financially seems to be something we are not seeing eye-to-eye on.

amother

Cornsilk

Today at 1:34 am

amother OP wrote:

I started this on Friday and then had to get ready for Shabbos:

So we really do buy bare-minimum most times. I'm talking generic chips, pretzels, generic oreos, and Fruit by The Foot because we get it from Costco. But after a while they get bored. They want "pringles" or "popcorners". We never buy "snack bags"--those are only for trips, or I get one case of veggie straws through subscribe n save (and that's because even if we get the big bag from Costco on our 1-2 trips per month they will be gone way too fast). "Special snacks" are fruit cups/applesauce cups, puddings, bamba (which has to be an at home snack because of school rules), instead of single-serve yogurts we buy tubs of yogurt and add our own m&ms . We usually have an after-school snack because we are both working, we have to do supper later, but it works better because my kids are not early-birds so otherwise they are hungry before bed. This summer I treated my kids to "Prezilla rolls" because they were getting bored of the same sandwiches every day (we don't get lunches in school).

Most of our "dinners" when he makes it become "plain pasta" and you can add cheese, or not. If we do rice, then you can put it on a tortilla and add fake meat, cheese. Really bare minimum. We don't usually SERVE veggies as part of supper but we usually have carrots, celery, apples, oranges, bananas and sometimes other veggies and the kids all help themselves. We would have cheese sticks as well, though since Kraft recently lost their reliable hechsher that one hurts and I'm not sure what will replace it. I have kids who "don't like noodles". I have kids who "don't like rice", I have kids who "don't like potatoes". There are very few foods that all 6 kids like so I try to find a medium. We only have chicken/fleishgs as "shabbos leftovers"--and we buy 1 8pc chicken per week, and the kids get chicken nuggets and hot dogs (that they like). The only processed foods/pre-made foods we buy are fish sticks, pizza snaps like once a month, bagels, pitas, and french fries. It's not like I'm stocking up on frozen entrees. We don't even buy frozen pizza, we get ready made pizza dough and make our own. I work full time with 7 kids I need SOMETHING for "easy suppers"

I too don't want them to feel deprived because with our income we shouldn't have to live like paupers, but I honestly don't know why our budget stinks (yes I'm aware of my finances and we don't really buy much so I don't know why our standard of living seems to be below everyone elses)

Op what proteins do your kids eat on a regular basis?
Pasta/rice/potatoes aren't a meal and I'm not surprised they're constantly hungry if all they eat are the foods you mentioned

amother

↑ Powderblue

Today at 1:38 am

amother OP wrote:

If you serve spaghetti what is the protein served along side it?
Plain spaghetti isn’t supper.
Hugs, op this is hard, but you’re an amazing mother trying to provide for your kids.

↑ imaima ↓

Today at 1:49 am

amother OP wrote:

I want to add that my husband is generally "not controlling" and in general is a mensch, it's I'm having a hard time reading him in this scenario.

He complains that the kids aren't eating the foods he makes--but he relies on the same "5 foods", and then they get bored.

When they voice an opinion of what they want/ they are willing to eat the answers are "it's a patchke" or "too expensive"

I know he'd love it if our kids would do "Rice and beans" for a while so that we can pay down some debt, but they don't want that.

I'd love to find an area that we can scrimp on besides food and clothes (bascially all kohls, walmart, amazon, and some kidichic for my eldest daughter who is almost 10).

I think you need to upgrade your suppers but not your snacks. Maybe it’s cultural but I also refuse to pay for junk especially individually packaged junk. I‘d rather there is more meat during the week.

Why is it so hard to prepare a batch of cooked noodles potatoes and rice and have them available for everyone to take? Between 7 kids it won’t be wasted and people won‘t have to complain. Next night leftover sides and just top up whatever was finished the night before?

amother

Mimosa

Today at 2:01 am

This might sound a bit crunchy and out there, but have you tried bringing the children into your meal planning?
We sit down once a week and plan what meals for each night of the week so that we all get a say and if it is a less enjoyable meal for 1 then they know the next night is better.

These are not expensive meals, our rotation is chicken from shabbat in various ways (reheated plain, in stir fry, with rice/noodles/left over kugel if there is), eggs in whatever way they want, meatballs, pasta and cheese.

Throw tomatoes at me but in our home veggies are a non negotiable part of the meal, with everyone has veg on their plate (husband protests the most) and they can eat as much or little of them as they like. We talk about which veg, how they prefer them and why all parts of the meal are important for our bodies- not daily or weekly but it comes up as part of our conversation.

We also eat together (although still young family).

And we don't have prepackaged snacks except for trips. But in our community that is normal, fruit, veg and crackers are the standard school snacks. Anything else gets taken by the teachers are not allowed and returned to parents at the end of the day, as per school rules.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 2:26 am

amother Cornsilk wrote:

Op what proteins do your kids eat on a regular basis?
Pasta/rice/potatoes aren't a meal and I'm not surprised they're constantly hungry if all they eat are the foods you mentioned

I did say that they regularly eat fruits and veggies. They don't like cooked vegetables unless it's chicken soup. It's not that they are "constantly hungry"--more the ones that don't like the supper. My kids are supprisingly not big eaters. I've tried eggs. I try to do pancakes (eggs+milk) and pizza (cheese) for protein once a week as well. I have some kids who like fish/fish sticks. Yes I have one kid who doesn't like much and it's a problem that I'm working on.

The thing is he'll go to me "what should we make for supper? (that kids will eat/like)" and I'm like "I need food to make for supper" I will try to make the most kid-friendly, nutrious meal, but when I buy things that I think fit that bill, he is complaining that I'm spending too much--it's like pick you struggle? You dont' like making food the kids dont eat, but you don't want to buy the foods the kids WILL eat.

↑ imaima

Today at 2:38 am

amother OP wrote:

Yea it’s delusional.
Food gets wasted with kids. That’s just how it is.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 2:43 am

amother Mimosa wrote:

Yes, I have 1-2 kids that don't like anything and 1-2 that tend to command the foods cater to their needs. So no matter what I will almost always have a meal that 1-2 kids don't like. My kids have no problem eating raw fruits and vegetables--we buy more 2-3 times per week. We go through several bunches of celery, bags of carrots, cabbage, apples, oranges, bananas each week. If I buy baby cucumbers and peppers they are gone in a day. I have a big bag of frozen vegetable medley that I will microwave. One of my kids really wants bagged salad--but I have kids who will eat a whole bag by themselves, therefore it's not a regular purchase. I

I tried making stir fry--they wont touch it. Meatballs I have like 2 kids who will eat them. My kids don't like kugels, we do Shabbos left overs once a week--which I have some kids who hate it. We get the Circle, and I've had them check out the recipes in the magazine--we have adopted some of them, but not too many "winners" among my kids. I've tried. It's exhausting to make foods my kids won't eat and then I end up eating it so it doesn't go to waste--and hey it's yummy.

Eggs go in stages, they love plain "hard boiled"--we actually usually make them by the dozen in a muffin tin for shabbos, and they are gone by Shabbos afternoon. I have kids who Friday night, after dessert, will go take a hard boiled egg. I once tried making egg salad and it didn't go over big--so better "bird in the hand".

We had a baby recently and people asked me what my kids eat. I think the most popular supper was chicken on the bone, but even then I have some kids who won't touch chicken on the bone.

I have some kids who don't like donuts, ice cream, chocolate, nutella. So what's "yummy" in my mind doesn't mean anything to my kids

amother

↑ Alyssum

Today at 2:59 am

amother OP wrote:

I have a super picky eater here too. You are enabling them..I did the same thing for a long time until I was told to stop. So now there is dinner. If dinner isn't to the liking, there's sandwiches or oatmeal. Also as snacks we have carrots, cucumber, apple and bananas.
They are healthy and delicious. Snacks like bamba don't fill kids up at all and they aren't very healthy either. So if your child says I am hungry.. I would never offer that kind of snack.
You're hungry? Great eat a banana or an apple. Eat oatmeal.. it's healthy and filling.
Always pasta isn't healthy... but there are simple meals that are also cheap. Rice with veggies. Kids need to develop their taste buds. Which they can't do if you are only serving their favorites. My child ended up loving spinache, broccoli and peas. Because it was offered regularly. Don't force them but they should always at least try. And if you always have other options available...why should they try?
So basically more veggies and fruit!!! And less enticing snacks and options.

↑ Raizle

Today at 3:03 am

amother OP wrote:

Ok this changes the picture that I originally had with your first post.
You said he's a good guy, so can you have a heart to heart with him?, explain that food is not the area to skimp on and is you are able to buy the ingredients for and make a dinner and if he cooperates in that regard, then your kids will be more satiated and Jess likely to crave expensive snacks and most importantly will be healthy. Is there another area to skimp on instead?

↑ dankbar ↓

Today at 3:22 am

Maybe you can cook and put things in the freezer, if you don't have time to cook when you get home. This way you cook what you want, and you buy the ingredients you need on your own.

Maybe if he doesn't need to cook and shop, he will be happy with whatever you cook and buy.

He shouldn't be controlling like that, but could be he is frustrated if he cooks and shops and then you're not happy.

Women generally have a better sense in nutrition, food shopping, cooking, meal planning and filling the nutritional needs of their family, plus knowing how much and which type of food to have around home during week, to keep everyone satisfied. Most men will only buy what's on the list, like exactly the missing ING and not fill the home for there to be enough to eat all around plus.

Depends how you do the shopping, if you only go focus on the bottom line, or you focus on everyone be satisfied.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Today at 3:29 am

amother Dahlia wrote:

Op,
On imamother you will only get support to live as frugal as possible. If you have money or a spender, you are not a good person.
As someone who grew up with very little food in my house I’d tell you, it’s very scarring. Me and my sister have a crazy bug with having shefa in food. I don’t need my kids going to friends homes to shnorer food and many of my kids friends come to my house and raid my kitchen. Food is one area that I will NOT be cheap on. Snacks will add $50 to my bill which is way cheaper than having my kids going to therapy for feeling deprived.

I respectfully disagree.
Has nothing to do with being a good person. If you are in debt (OP states it later on) you need to change your spending habits and/or increase your income.