My niece is posting on tic toc and my sister is freaking out

amother

DarkYellow

Thu, Dec 12 2024, 9:03 pm

I agree that it sounds like she's just get a different phone that her parents don't know about.

It sounds like she's in a situation+age where she's exposed enough to feel comfortable in "the outside world" but not exposed enough to be cautious. Maybe if she had more knowledge of the natural consequences that may come of her actions, she could make better choices...

amother

Chocolate

Thu, Dec 12 2024, 9:08 pm

Just wanted to make you aware that it’s very common for teens to have multiple TikTok accounts. Nothing bad necessarily, some just post funny videos for a few close friends.

amother

Lotus

Thu, Dec 12 2024, 9:25 pm

amother Midnight wrote:

So sweet of you to care but hows this your business ?

It's a chinuch issue between your sister and her daughter

Her sister spoke to her about it. She's the one who reached out, and OP wants advice on how to help, or if she can help. Why is it none of her business? Should she have said cruely to her sister 'Sorry not my problem have a good night!'

zahavagold

Fri, Dec 13 2024, 11:00 am

TwinsMommy wrote:

We're modern and my 17 year old daughter has a smartphone and tiktok. She doesn't post often and nothing inappropriate. My rule with tiktok is that I follow her so I see her posts, I check her followers and people she's following anytime I want, and she doesn't follow anyone inappropriate. I think in this scenario (posting herself in non tznius clothing) I'd likely make an appointment with our Rav and bring my daughter and talk about all the issues with him--- the homeschooling and how that's going, social life, and by the way, here's what's happening online----- she might be super embarrassed to hear you telling the Rabbi and that might help. And if not, he'll have suggestions and you'll have support. Meanwhile, have your sister ask her who she's following on tiktok--- share funny clips back and forth---- their whole online relationship doesn't need to be "you can't! you didn't! I'm mortified!" Hatzlacha to them!

Why would you take her to a male Rav to discuss this? Eww.
There are plenty of religious role model women you can take her to

↑ giftedmom

Fri, Dec 13 2024, 11:03 am

TwinsMommy wrote:

Not to burst your bubble but it’s common for teens to have separate accounts where they post what they don’t want their parents to see

chanatron1000

Fri, Dec 13 2024, 1:49 pm

I know she's probably not "sheltered" in the sense that she's had access to popular media, but has anyone had a talk with her about the realities of life? Most teen girls genuinely do not know whom they're producing this "content" for when they post or share pictures and videos of themselves dressed inappropriately.

SuperWify

Fri, Dec 13 2024, 2:02 pm

Just listened to this, skip to the interview with Dr Sax.

while I don’t agree with everything Dr Sax talks about he was right on the money with social media.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/.....60567

amother

↑ Midnight

Fri, Dec 13 2024, 2:43 pm

So random anonymous women would be a good source of advice for anonymous random posters ...sister! And her kid.

Please convince her to get guidance in real life. From ppl that she can talk through the details and come to a healthy workable solution.

It's her challenge she will need lots of handholding

This is coming from someone that wasted lots of years thinking I could help ppl, when only they can help themselves.

amother

Mayflower

Fri, Dec 13 2024, 4:07 pm

amother Midnight wrote:

Some people shared good advice or ideas where to get good advice from.
If you don't feel you have something helpful to add, that's fine- just move on. No need for so much attitude.

amother

Stonewash

Yesterday at 3:51 pm

TwinsMommy wrote:

Just btw (so you should be aware) there are teens that have two accounts - one for the parents to see and one for themselves and friends. its not hard to switch between accounts.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Yesterday at 6:18 pm

zahavagold wrote:

Why would you take her to a male Rav to discuss this? Eww.
There are plenty of religious role model women you can take her to

Why not just suggest a Rebbetzen.
And perhaps as part of her homeschooling.