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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
I really resent my 7 yo ds
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amother
  Ivory  


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 4:16 pm
amother Yarrow wrote:
I find that very interesting . The only children who I know who don't like to watch have adhd and can't sit and focus but some with adhd can when its an exciting show.

The adhd people I know LOVE screens it gives them the dopamine fix they crave
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 4:16 pm
amother Babyblue wrote:
You're in a negative feedback loop with him. The more you get annoyed at him, the more he feels disliked the more he acts out.

I've seen big changes with these kids when they get time to themselves. Just them quality time with you scheduled regularly.

This is correct. Even once or twice a week for 10 minutes is a great start
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 4:17 pm
amother Ivory wrote:
I would maybe try giving him a probiotic, and this https://www.iherb.com/pr/biora.....D_BwE

And cutting out food dyes


We tried a probiotic

And I can’t cut out food dyes, he school even gives him that stupid stuff

Sodas, nosh
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 4:18 pm
amother Hotpink wrote:
This is correct. Even once or twice a week for 10 minutes is a great start


Ten minutes I can do

But it’s hard bec the other kids don’t really respect that, the younger ones don’t understand that it’s supposed to be individual time and they’ll interrupt etc
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amother
Blush


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 4:20 pm
amother Yarrow wrote:
I find that very interesting . The only children who I know who don't like to watch have adhd and can't sit and focus but some with adhd can when its an exciting show.


Yup. This child has a lot of flags for ADHD. Who did the evaluation?
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amother
DarkCyan


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 4:22 pm
Is he your oldest boy?
Can you love the parts of him that make you craxy? Can you visualise all that he will do when he comes home and visualise urself still hugging him? The more love you can find in your heart the less he will need to act out

Also notice the stuff he does and which of your buttons he presses. Notice how painful those are for you and tune it to whats really goimg on
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amother
  Babyblue  


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 4:34 pm
amother OP wrote:
Ten minutes I can do

But it’s hard bec the other kids don’t really respect that, the younger ones don’t understand that it’s supposed to be individual time and they’ll interrupt etc


10 minutes at a time is all you need.

Imagine he had dyslexia and you had to spend 10 minutes doing special reading homework with him. Every night. You'd find a way to make it work. And you would tell the younger children that this is his special time that he needs right now and send them away.

He needs it. He really really needs it. And so do you.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 4:39 pm
Just took him downstairs to bake a cake with me. We had a nice time. He really enjoyed himself. I’m feeling like I made a step of progress. Thanks
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 4:51 pm
amother DarkCyan wrote:
Is he your oldest boy?
Can you love the parts of him that make you craxy? Can you visualise all that he will do when he comes home and visualise urself still hugging him? The more love you can find in your heart the less he will need to act out

Also notice the stuff he does and which of your buttons he presses. Notice how painful those are for you and tune it to whats really goimg on


Not my oldest boy
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 4:52 pm
amother Blush wrote:
Yup. This child has a lot of flags for ADHD. Who did the evaluation?


He focuses in school perfectly. He goes to shul and follows along during Krias hatorah.

Lcsw and bcba and ot did an eval
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amother
Papayawhip


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 4:58 pm
amother OP wrote:
He focuses in school perfectly. He goes to shul and follows along during Krias hatorah.

Lcsw and bcba and ot did an eval


Your son sounds EXACTLY like my 7 yo. He has adhd, does very well in school, sits quietly in school and in shul, and is a terror at home. We started him on 1mg of guanfacine and we are seeing a major difference. He is much calmer bh.

Since when do lcsw and bcba evaluate for adhd?? You should take him to a psychiatrist or neurologist
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amother
  Babyblue  


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 4:59 pm
amother OP wrote:
Just took him downstairs to bake a cake with me. We had a nice time. He really enjoyed himself. I’m feeling like I made a step of progress. Thanks


Good for you. Relationships are rebuilt one experience at a time.
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amother
Almond  


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 5:03 pm
Why are people so quick to jump to labels? It sounds to me like he is simply starved for attention. Good for you op that you started taking the steps to do that!
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 5:07 pm
It was lovely. He then dried the dishes as I washed. I want to try to do this more often. He then brushed his teeth snd went to bed nicely and we ended off the day on a loving note. Thank you all
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amother
Cognac  


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 5:12 pm
amother OP wrote:
It was lovely. He then dried the dishes as I washed. I want to try to do this more often. He then brushed his teeth snd went to bed nicely and we ended off the day on a loving note. Thank you all


Love this! You are a great mom.
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 5:41 pm
Love your update! My 8 year old is the same but he's a big mush inside.

One thing, does he drink? We sometimes find the reason is that ds didn't drink anything.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 5:50 pm
amother Indigo wrote:
Love your update! My 8 year old is the same but he's a big mush inside.

One thing, does he drink? We sometimes find the reason is that ds didn't drink anything.


Interesting

He says he drinks a water bottle every day

And he drinks at home

My ds is also a mush inside. The sweetest most generous boy. He’d literally give the shirt off his back to help someone! It’s just hard to handle when he goes crazy.
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amother
Fern


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 6:42 pm
Also see a big difference with my child when I spend quality time with them. Good for you!
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amother
  Oatmeal


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 6:53 pm
I feel like it’s an age thing. My son used to similar at 7-8 grrrrr he was so triggering……! He’s ten now and turning into the nicest young man. Heart
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amother
Magnolia


 

Post Wed, Dec 11 2024, 7:00 pm
I remember my mother taking one kid at a time to do grocery shopping with her.
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