Would your child ruin Santa for a non-Jewish child?

#BestBubby

Yesterday at 12:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

Actually, when I was a kid and had learned that non-Jewish parents lie to their kids about Santa, I was scared that yidden had something like that too. I was so scared that my parents would tell me one day that Hashem isn’t real. I remember asking my parents a few times to give them the opportunity to “confess” if Hashem was real.

This.

I don't get the concept of lying to your kids, especially about religion.

amother

↑ Cornsilk ↓

Yesterday at 12:13 pm

amother Oxfordblue wrote:

Eliyahu Hanavi comes to drink from the cup by the seder and the whole show of sending the kids to the door while the parents try to discreetly pour back some wine from the cup so it looks like he really drank.
That's how we grew up and it didn't shatter much for us when we figured it out that it wasn't actually him that drank.
I wonder what caused you to have such a strong reaction.

We dont pour anything out of kos shel Eliyahu.
I wouldn't call going to door for shefoch chamuscha a show. Kids are fully aware that they will be ubable to see Eliyahu hanavi and only a rare few heliga individuals have

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 12:13 pm

amother Oxfordblue wrote:

That didn’t bother me as much. My parents had more of the attitude that “maybe Eliyahu came, maybe he didn’t. We won’t know for sure until moshiach comes. But we always greet him and prepare his wine just in case he’s there”
And the whole show of spilling out wine was always done very obviously. My parents were clear on that they had no way of knowing for sure when it came to eliyahu hanavi.

Part of my fear probably also had to do with the whole thing of Hashem knowing the truth if we did something good or bad so a part of me probably equated Hashem with Santa

amother

Offwhite

Yesterday at 12:18 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

This.

I don't get the concept of lying to your kids, especially about religion.

Personally I agree, but a 12 year should be mature enough to know it isn't proper to "educate" a little kid that isn't even from his family. We used to have neighbors that believed that storks delivered babies. I would be very upset if my daughter decided to tell them it isn't true, even if I think it's ridiculous to lie like that to your kids. Parents have the right to educate their kids the way they'd like and it's our job to MYOB.

amother

Almond ↓

Yesterday at 12:18 pm

Truth is, by the time my kids even know who Santa is, they're old enough to know better than to ruin it for someone. I'm honestly a little concerned that a 12 year old did this. 6 or 7 is one thing, past that, most kids understand not to put down what other people like, and not to be mean to little kids. My oldest is 13, on the spectrum (so, not the greatest with social skills) and he would NEVER ruin something magical for a sibling young enough to not be 100% sure of the difference between real and fantasy, and he wouldn’t do that to a kid outside the family either. He understands, let the little kids have their fun and innocence. I will also say though, 6 is really borderline for expecting a fantasy to continue. Like at that age, if he doesn't already have peers at school for whom the jig is up, he'll be at that point next year. The parents should have been prepared by now that this era was coming to an end.

amother

Banana ↓

Yesterday at 2:06 pm

giftedmom wrote:

It happens all the time with siblings etc. very preteen type thing to do. They’re probably just mad that it’s a Jewish kid.

No it’s considered a really bad thing in their world to tell little kids that Santa isn’t real. Like majorly socially inappropriate, on the level of telling young kids about periods in ours. Not joking.

amother

Lotus

Yesterday at 2:08 pm

amother OP wrote:

A relative of mine, 12 year old boy, is a know-it-all and big blabbermouth. He takes great pleasure in “educating” others. He told his neighbor, a 6 year old, that Santa isn’t real. The child was distraught and the parents were furious.

Now, I happen to disagree with the whole lying to the kids thing when it comes to Santa or the tooth fairy or whatnot. But, I wouldn’t ruin it for someone else’s child as it’s none of my business.

Are any of your kids the type to blab the truth?

You wouldn't ruin it for a kid because you're an adult. It's not really reasonable to expect that if a preteen.

amother

↑ Banana ↓

Yesterday at 2:10 pm

amother Lotus wrote:

You wouldn't ruin it for a kid because you're an adult. It's not really reasonable to expect that if a preteen.

A typically developing preteen shouldn’t be ruining anything for neighborhood little kids. That’s not socially appropriate.

Imagine if a non Jewish neighbor told your 6 year old about periods. Wouldn’t you be upset?

amother

↑ Almond

Yesterday at 2:20 pm

amother Lotus wrote:

You wouldn't ruin it for a kid because you're an adult. It's not really reasonable to expect that if a preteen.

A typically developing preteen knows full well not to ruin fun things for little kids. They might ruin fun things for their peers (like spoiling movie plots or something), but they know better than to do that to a kid half their age. If they don't know that at 12, I'd suspect there's something going on.

amother

Carnation ↓

Yesterday at 2:20 pm

Peersupport wrote:

That's not how life works.
Any friend could have shared it with them.

When parents want to have control over the information a child is getting, they need to be one step ahead with the truth and facts about life.
Otherwise different influences and ideas might reach them first.

That's funny coming from a frum jewish person 😅
So many kids are being told lies "only non jews do this/wear that" etc.

OP I will never forget when my niece looked at a santa clause picture which was on a window and said why is this grandpa dressed in red and some non jewish woman looked utterly shocked😄

I tell my daughter that different people believe in different things and I told her that our non jewish neighbours believe that Santa brings gifts. She didn't understand it at all and she didn't seem to care. But I wouldn't want her to make the neighbours kids upset. They are nice and kind to us. I wouldn't want them to tell her "there's no such thing as a small amount of oil burning 8 days" either. It's always good to be respectful.
And I am sure that little boy was absolutely distraught and the parents being upset is so understandable. I would have apologized to the boy and just told him that Santa doesn't come to us but I am sure he will visit him since he is christian or has no religion.

nomismommy

Yesterday at 2:24 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

This.

I don't get the concept of lying to your kids, especially about religion.

Santa has absolutely nothing to do with religion. Wasn't he invented by coca cola?
He brings gifts for the kids. Has nothinf to do with j-sus. I would assume that at least 70% of people who celebrate xmas don't believe in j-sus. It's their holiday for family and love. What we do every shabbos or chag, they do once a year.

amother

Cinnamon

Yesterday at 2:28 pm

My 4 year old DS in TJ maxx "Look at that silly Zeidy!"

Lots of heads turned and smirked.

And the grinch is a giant turtle. Nativity scenes are dolls on the grass.

We live OOT in case you can't tell.

It's adorable watching how he fits all these odd concepts into his little world of understanding.

singleagain

Yesterday at 2:41 pm

nomismommy wrote:

Actually Santa was invented before coke

First item on this video of facts you thought were true. Content warning, on Brain Blaze Simon Whistler is unhinged, but mostly bleeped out.

amother

Blushpink

Yesterday at 2:44 pm

I voted other.

My older kids know they’re not supposed to tell and they understand why, but I can’t say they for sure wouldn’t do it.

My 12 year old would probably say, I know something about Santa I can’t tell you. Luckily he doesn’t know any non Jewish kids.

My 8 year old is friends with some non Jewish kids. She’s overall a sensitive kid and wouldn’t want to ruin it for them. But she’s still young. I could imagine her telling them Santa’s fake if they’d brag about Santa’s gifts or she was just trying to show off. Luckily it hasn’t happened yet (their parents probably told them not to brag, the same way I told her not to tell) and at this age, lots of them probably know.

Luckily my younger ones have no clue about the whole Santa idea beyond hearing his name and seeing him in the mall.

amother

↑ Cornsilk ↓

Yesterday at 2:48 pm

amother Banana wrote:

What a bad comparison. Anyone can end uo telling your kid about periods or santas kids eill be kids.they talk. Most the time their information is incorrect. So if you are anooen involved parent yiyr children will come tell you what they heard and you can discuss it.
Some kids and ore teens,are meaner than others or slower to develop appropriate social skills but this is not out of norm

Lemonade 2323

Yesterday at 2:50 pm

NechaMom wrote:

Well someone ruined the tooth fairy for me and my kids at some point.

I wish someone would've told me the truth about the tooth fairy. Or better yet, not lied to me in the first place.
When my 6yo sister's tooth fell out, I was literally petrified, couldn't fall asleep for hours, terrified about an apirition coming into my room somehow.
And the next day when I said I was awake all night, panicking, and the fairy didn't even come, I was mocked & ridiculed for 'being gullible'.

amother

Opal ↓

Yesterday at 2:56 pm

And my sisters niece who became “educated” in public school (unfortunate situation)
Told her daughter and my girls about relations. My kids were at sisters house and that niece popped in while sister was out.
She gave them a shock and they had many questions lol

It happens. As upsetting as it is. And believe me I was furious. She’s over 18, she had no business telling kids under a certain age about s-xual topics. Especially in our community

Eta-we were told by a rav that legally she did something wrong and I can press charges

But we were advised for our kids sake.