Answer honestly please

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 7:43 pm

amother Oleander wrote:

I want to say that if it was in a non-creepy way I'd just accept the compliment, say thank you, and move on.... but it's hard for me to imagine it ever not being creepy - even if he meant well and wasn't a generally creepy person. I mean, is commenting on the looks of a strange woman you don't know ever okay and not a bit creepy? (And if it's not a stranger but maybe a coworker or something like that, totally awkward and still a bit creepy).

Yes I guess I should have said not SUPER creepy. I was picturing it could have been worse..

Busybee5 ↓

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 7:46 pm

amother Nutmeg wrote:

I feel like I'm missing something here. Since when do random, non- Jewish men tell you you're beautiful. In which situations does this happen? 🤔
It's never happened to me , maybe I'm not as beautiful as I think I am.....

A weird guy said to me 'you have such beautiful eyes' in the emergency room once. It was so creepy. I wanted to run away. He was in his 60's probably, and I'm in my 30's . Yuck.

Not insulted, just awkward!!

amother

Lightgreen

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 7:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

Will the people who would get offended explain please? I'm curious why.

I answered insulted, but I really meant weirded out, creeped out, yuck, ew, gross. I chose it as the opposite of flattered. Is that not what you meant?

amother

↑ Crocus ↓

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 7:51 pm

amother Oleander wrote:

You don't see a difference between a woman complimenting another woman's outfit vs. a man telling a woman that she is beautiful?

I don’t think non jews are brought up with our sensitivities. I see the difference I’m not sure they do
And if boundaries were easily crossed between men and women I’m not sure that I wouldn’t compliment a man since it’s completely untzniusdik I would never

amother

↑ OP

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 7:53 pm

amother Lightgreen wrote:

I answered insulted, but I really meant weirded out, creeped out, yuck, ew, gross. I chose it as the opposite of flattered. Is that not what you meant?

I meant like actually insulted like how dare he, I'm a Jewish princess.. thanks for clarifying!

amother

↑ Crocus

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 7:56 pm

Busybee5 wrote:

See I wouldn’t find that awkward at all unless you have regular brown eyes. Nothing to do with age it’s not a zxual comment
I remember complimenting my anesthesiologist on her eyes it was the only part of her face visible and she had gorgeous eyes (and I was a little dazed too)

amother

Cyan

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 8:37 pm

amother Crocus wrote:

lol I complimented my dentist on her eyes. I think she was weirded out 😂

amother

Butterscotch

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 9:16 pm

I was once on the train in my scrubs on the way to work and a black man said, “excuse me, I hope I’m not offending you, but I think you look really beautiful. Have a blessed day” and he got off the train. I said thank you. I was also very confused- like did that just happen? And definitely felt good that a stranger felt the need to tell me that I was pretty.

amother

↑ Lightcyan

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 10:09 pm

Another story, Just for reference, I know more than one language. One day I was walking to work, and a stranger was talking on the phone in one of the languages that I speak. As I'm getting closer to passing him he says to the person on the other line, hold on I see a very pretty girl. As I walk past him he stops talking and makes sure to give me a big smile and say Shalom. It was very comical 😆

amother

Acacia

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 11:10 pm

These things don't phase me.
I'd come home and joke about it to DH.

On the other hand..
If it were a woman...
I'd be super flattered.

amother

Ballota

Sun, Dec 08 2024, 12:52 am

This happens to me all the time-- which I find strange, cuz my face is average pretty, but I guess I have a great figure.
It creeps me out.
I would rather people not say anything.
I've got it from older women ("look at that beautiful girl" pointing me out to their old hubbys)
I've got it from non jewish cashiers (just do your job and don't talk to me, thanks)
I've got it from TSA people at the airport-- like every single time I fly ("well aren't you a pretty lady")
Honestly, it usually creeps me out. I know what I look like and on't need people to notice/comment
BH now I live in Israel and it happens MUCH less!
But there is one bagel store here that the cashier always comments, and I've stopped going there unless I'm with my husband. Commenting once is creepy (especially if you're a jew). commenting more then once is downright weird and I don't want to see you ever again

↑ Busybee5

Sun, Dec 08 2024, 1:47 am

amother Crocus wrote:

It was definitely s-xual , he was chatting to me a bit before that. After that I tried getting away from him but he kept on sitting next to me wherever I went. He went outside for a bit in between. He was mentally ill, it was horrible. But I had to stay in the room in case they called my name.

amother

↑ Oleander

Sun, Dec 08 2024, 4:52 am

amother Crocus wrote:

No, I'm sure they're not. But on the other hand, in this day and age, where everything is perceived as s-xual harassment, things that are far more benign than saying "you're really beautiful", I think the majority of people understand that this might not be well-received even if it's simply meant as a kind compliment.

NotInNJMommy

Sun, Dec 08 2024, 5:18 am

I’d feel way more weird if a frum Jewish man who knows I’m married or is married himself told me he thought I was beautiful. I don’t think there’d be a non creepy way for him to do that.

Trademark

Sun, Dec 08 2024, 5:52 am

amother Crocus wrote:

Just because they weren't brought up with our sensitivities doesn't mean it's not considered creepy.

A random man calling a random woman on the street beautiful, is creepy. His intentions is not to complement you and you can be sure he is thinking about you in a certain way.

I'm sure there are exceptions but generally if a man comments on a woman's beauty in general it's considered creepy.

amother

Alyssum ↓

Sun, Dec 08 2024, 7:40 am

I had a random man tell me "you're the most beautiful woman I've seen all day." It was really weird. I wasn't thinking about being flattered or offended, I was thinking about staying away from him

amother

Aconite

Sun, Dec 08 2024, 7:45 am

Depends on context. Always. Random stranger approached and commented versus someone I am already talking to and they say nice dress or hair...just say thank you. But it rarely happens. I dont think it's socially the norm.

amother

Lemonlime

Sun, Dec 08 2024, 8:57 am

I was once at the mall and a foreign woman (not sure where she was from, maybe Philippines) came over to me and said in broken English ‘you’re so beautiful, you look like an angel’ and tried touching my hair. It was super weird.