Answer honestly please

amother

Nutmeg ↓

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 12:57 am

If he seemed more or less normal I'd probably be a little flattered deep down inside, but no way would I let him know about it. I'd brush it off very curtly and end the interaction as soon as possible.

amother

Darkblue ↓

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 1:02 am

Non Creepy way-
Say thank you for the compliment and move on. Really not a big deal. In his world he was being polite and spreading goodness.

It is no different than if I am in a store and tell you your newborn is k”AH adorable or your sweater is pretty or your kids behave beautifully. There is a concept of paying 3 strangers compliments every day. He was trying to spread goodwill.

amother

↑ Darkblue ↓

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 1:03 am

amother Nutmeg wrote:

Right or wrong, he would perceive you as rude. Say thank you. Have a nice day, and move on.

In the non-sheltered world, people can be polite without trying to get in each other’s pants.

amother

Maroon

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 1:11 am

I would say thank you. And that’s all. I would not feel flattered or insulted. It’s small talk in certain circles. I’d say, nice tie, he says, you look beautiful. Smile, move on.

amother

↑ Nutmeg ↓

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 1:14 am

amother Darkblue wrote:

Right or wrong, he would perceive you as rude. Say thank you. Have a nice day, and move on.

In the non-sheltered world, people can be polite without trying to get in each other’s pants.

I think this is very context dependant. I'm not especially sheltered and I can think of very few situations in which a stranger commenting on my looks would be acceptable. It's not appropriate in a professional setting ( yes, I know it happens but there is also a huge amount of inappropriate behaviour going on). It would also not be appropriate for my doctor, supermarket cashier, delivery guy etc to comment. The only way it could be somewhat appropriate is if the man knew me well in a more social capacity. As a frum women I don't have too many Jewish male friends let alone non- Jewish ones.
Not everyone has ill intent, but there is no way to know that. We don't have to be rude in such situations but we certainly don't have to be more than polite and business like.

amother

↑ Nutmeg ↓

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 1:18 am

amother Goldenrod wrote:

I feel like I’m missing something here. Who gets insulted from a compliment??

I feel like I'm missing something here. Since when do random, non- Jewish men tell you you're beautiful. In which situations does this happen? 🤔
It's never happened to me , maybe I'm not as beautiful as I think I am.....

amother

Ghostwhite

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 1:25 am

I don't think it's normal in the secular world for random guys to come up to you and tell you you're beautiful. He's either old school weird or recording you for TikTok (also weird).
I wouldn't be insulted or flattered. Depending on the context, I'd ignore him and walk away or say thank you and walk away.

mathbrain

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 1:27 am

I’ve had it.
Most recent time: Out with my husband and kids. Meet older couple and share space with them for a bit. Think same shuttle or on a long line or something. Make small talk with said couple. Wife comments on how cute your kids are. Husband feels the need to chime in. He says ‘well, with a beautiful mom and dad, what do you expect?’
It’s clear they are saying it to make small talk. Not to hit on me. My husband is right there.

If a guy randomly came over to me and said I was pretty? Yah, that’s creepy. I’d walk away ASAP without engaging.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 1:35 am

amother Nutmeg wrote:

I was walking down my block today and a random guy (maybe in his 20s) said that to me and walked away. I was a little flattered and told my husband and he thought I should have been insulted. Hence the poll.

To answer your question, I think it's cultural/location dependant.

amother

Amaryllis

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 2:08 am

amother OP wrote:

Creepy. Creepy. Creepy.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 2:30 am

amother Brunette wrote:

Why insulted??

I would be creeped out and feel flattered at the same time.

Yeah I don't get it either.

Same.. like wow a random stranger thinks I'm pretty and also like get me outta here

amother

↑ Brunette

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 2:35 am

amother OP wrote:

Yeah I don't get it either.

Same.. like wow a random stranger thinks I'm pretty and also like get me outta here

Exactly my thoughts!
And then I would feel yuck that I even felt good from a possible perv.

amother

↑ Nutmeg

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 2:45 am

amother OP wrote:

See, to me that is a little creepy. All these ladies saying that beyond our sheltered communities it is normal to compliment a woman on her beauty are referring to instances when there already is some kind of interaction and as I've said before, even then the appropriateness of such a comment could be questionable.
For a random guy to just say something like that out of the blue I think is at the very least socially clueless if not creepy.

And for the mom who was complimented together with her husband, for me that would fall into socially acceptable, contextually appropriate behaviour in the non- (frum) Jewish world.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 3:55 am

This has happened to me:
At work I treated it as inappropriate and shut it down.
At a store or bank or restaurant, in which case I treated it as meaningless.
Spontaneous from a stranger, I kept walking.
I do appreciate when someone tells my husband, You have a beautiful wife. Thats the only time I felt ok with it.

amother

Papayawhip

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 4:26 am

amother OP wrote:

This isn't a non creepy thing

amother

↑ Darkblue

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 8:32 am

amother OP wrote:

This is probably creepy. Did he think he was French? Thi is a little weird.
Maybe you are gorgeous and he was struck by your beauty, maybe it was a dare. It is odder that I first thought.