Answer honestly please

singleagain

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 8:37 am

amother OP wrote:

I was walking down my block today and a random guy (maybe in his 20s) said that to me and walked away. I was a little flattered and told my husband and he thought I should have been insulted. Hence the poll.

To answer your question, I think it's cultural/location dependant.

Since he complimented you then left, I don't think that's creepy. Lingering after he complimented you while have been creepy.

UROOT ↓

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 10:26 am

I have a friend who gets told this a lot (she's grogeous), and most of the times the comments are followed by "Are you single/ Can I have your number"

So, I don't think these comments are as benign as someone saying "cool jacket!". I wouldn't think their creepy, just innapropiate.

wrkngmomof2

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 10:32 am

I thought only I get flattered because of my low self esteem. This is enlightening.

↑ UROOT

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 10:34 am

Also, the few times I got complimented of course I was flattered! However, I did answer in a way though that made it very clear I was not continuing a conversation.

The secular world can think I'm weird/rude for doing that. Kedushas Yisrael is more important.

justforfun87

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 10:42 am

I haven't been hit on in YEARS but I also live in a frum bubble. That being said when it happens I am very flattered and wonder if they are blind Smile

amother

Lightcyan ↓

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 11:30 am

I used to get it more often, guess I've gotten older. But one interesting comment I got when I was running into Walmart was from a women. Just for reference,I wear long skirts...and a lady stoped me to say that I have a graceful walk.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 5:47 pm

Will the people who would get offended explain please? I'm curious why.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Dec 06 2024, 6:38 pm

amother Lightcyan wrote:

That's cool! I've never gotten that

amother

Holly

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 1:49 pm

I think I would be more creeped out if a Jewish guy did it than if a non-Jewish guy did it.

amother

Peach

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 2:28 pm

I was once in the airport by myself and an Indian man probably 20 years older than me came over to me and said "you're so beautiful"
I think I smiled tightly and RAN I was shaking for a while after.
Definitely got the creepy vibes but yet I was mildly flattered Very Happy

amother

Silver

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 2:46 pm

I appreciate the compliment, but mention my husband if the guy sticks around.

amother

Skyblue

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 6:21 pm

Im actually always unsure how to answer. If its a random stranger I just pretend I didnt hear. But had it twice in front of my husband and felt like I have to stick up for him. Like a tour guide saying all jewish women are pretty but men aren't, or you have beautiful kids they take after the mom obviously.... these are super awkward comments would love to know whats appropriate response

amother

Stoneblue

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 7:50 pm

I almost never get out bec I work from home, but I was downtown and some random younger stranger said I like your hair or you have beautiful hair. of course it was a wig. haha. I think I said thank you. I was taken off guard and a little creeped out esp bec we were in a stairwell of a garage! happens to be he was still in the vicinity when I left the building and I went out of my way to avoid him. definitely creeped out, even if he just thought he was being nice or honest.

amother

Daisy

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 8:02 pm

Your title doesn't match your basic premise. The title just says a nonJewish man, not a random stranger coming out of nowhere. There's quite a difference between a random stranger off the street and a long-time neighbor, your dry cleaner, your regular bus driver or your coworker. And what is the occasion? Are you dressed up for an important event?

amother

Crocus ↓

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 8:55 pm

I say thank you and move on
If it was more of a cat call whistling and head turning then I walk away as quickly as possible

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 9:31 pm

amother Daisy wrote:

Hmm I hear. I was wondering in general about the concept, not just about the specific person.

But that's a fair point

amother

Oleander ↓

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 10:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

See poll please, my husband and I were discussing this and I was curious how other people would react

I want to say that if it was in a non-creepy way I'd just accept the compliment, say thank you, and move on.... but it's hard for me to imagine it ever not being creepy - even if he meant well and wasn't a generally creepy person. I mean, is commenting on the looks of a strange woman you don't know ever okay and not a bit creepy? (And if it's not a stranger but maybe a coworker or something like that, totally awkward and still a bit creepy).

amother

↑ Crocus ↓

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 10:36 pm

amother Oleander wrote:

Why should a compliment be creepy if it’s just that a compliment
I have commented to random women love how you matched that outfit or you look amazing in that I hope I didn’t come across as creepy maybe I shouldn’t do that again

amother

↑ Oleander ↓

Sat, Dec 07 2024, 10:42 pm

amother Crocus wrote:

You don't see a difference between a woman complimenting another woman's outfit vs. a man telling a woman that she is beautiful?