HELPPPPPP nagging teen

amother

Yesterday at 8:52 pm

have zero emotional energy for my teen. Idk what the solution is.

I have an incredibly talented 13 yr okd daughter that also has adhd and also pests non stop about things I don’t let her do.

Projects l that in the past she’s done and has been super controlling and couldn’t take no for an answer. Couldn’t listen to rules. Once she starts something she can’t give up and I become the punching bag for her failures. So I said the next year no collecting for tzedaka stuff or whatever.

And now she’s nagging non stop . But y. But when. Give me another chance.
I try to maintain my cool and eventually lose it because she doesn’t know when to stop.

The she’s sad about the state of our relationship and why I’m treating her that way. I explained a million times that it’s very hard to have a positive good relationship with someone that doesn’t stop complaining and nagging… it plotzes at one point.

I just have no mental or emotional energy to deal with this!!!! I sometimes feel like jumping off a bridge. Literally.
I jnow we have a horrible relationship: I don’t have patience for her and she feels it I know I’m the worst mom out there. But I also know that I’m not Hillel Hazukein.

I tried medication.
I tried so many therapies.
I’m all tried out.

What should I do!!?

Chayalle

Yesterday at 9:08 pm

It's hard, but it sounds like she needs certain outlets. Maybe you need to problem solve with her about conditions under which you will let her do a limited amount of her projects, and what kind of direction she might have to agree in advance to take from you, and what she might have to manage without in order to have this leeway, etc....
Otherwise you are getting into power struggles with her, which tend to fail enormously with kids with ADHD.

TCFrenk

Yesterday at 10:00 pm

Stay strong! Try to get her used to accepting a delay of a few minutes. Then give her attention and respond that it doesn't work for you. Perhaps you can use some empathy and say that you know she wants it so badly and it is amazing that she was able to wait for a few minutes to talk about it and that is real mature behavior. Then just sit and look at her for 5 minutes without responding to her nagging. Then say (calmly) I need to use the bathroom (go out, make a phone call etc.) and w a l k a w a y!

Doing this a few times may get her used to the fact that she can't always get what she wants. She can also learn that she get some attention if she acts mature.