Sharing opinions about names.....

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 12:21 pm

I've noticed a recurring trend in naming threads where someone asks for opinions on a name, and inevitably, a comment pops up along the lines of "According to [gadol/book/tradition], that's not a real name" or "That's not considered a good name."

While I understand that everyone is entitled to their opinion, I sometimes find these posts disheartening. It’s worth remembering that someone reading the thread might have that name themselves or have chosen it for their child. Comments like these can come across as dismissive or even hurtful, whether that's the intent or not.

I’m wondering if anyone else feels the same way. Maybe we could all try to be a bit more mindful when we share opinions on names. Instead of stating that a name is "not good" or "not real," we could focus on offering constructive feedback or just acknowledging that taste in names is deeply personal as well as the reasons for choosing them.

Thoughts?

N.B. In any case I always think that any opinion expressed on Imamother should be taken with a grain of salt....

amother

Crocus

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 12:29 pm

This is so true! Our eldest was born around a holiday and I very much wanted to use a name very connected to that holiday. Our neighbor came by and said to my DH with me in the room, ''I hope you are not using the name .... as all those with that name have bad luck. Me and DH looked at each other and there was no way we could use that name. End of story. You need to be careful.

amother

Cerulean ↓

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 12:32 pm

I am OP of that thread and I have a name that’s a concept not a person and so does one of my children. And some other kids of mine have names that mean objects/animals but are also people in Tanach.

I am not against it but I appreciate different opinions and whether or not a gadol approved of it

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 12:45 pm

amother Cerulean wrote:

I hear what you're saying, but I’ve noticed that this kind of comment comes up not just in that thread but in many others as well. It’s something worth keeping in mind when posting.

Regarding a Gadol's approval (or lack thereof), my understanding is that sometimes approval is given on a case-by-case basis. If someone sought out a Gadol's input and received a specific answer—yes or no—that was tailored to their situation. I’m not sure the same answer would necessarily apply to everyone.

Take the name Shira, for example.(Apologies to all Shiras for using this example) Apparently, there’s something about the name that raises questions for some people. But when you think about it, there are so many wonderful, accomplished individuals with great middos named Shira. How can you confidently say it’s “not a good name”?

Even if you personally aren’t offended by such comments, this type of information is something people should seek out individually, rather than relying on anonymous statements made online. It’s worth being mindful of how these comments might come across to others who might have that name or who chose it for their child.

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 12:59 pm

Ruchel wrote:

I have a very difficult time with the new trend that Léa, Rahel, Miriam, Esther, Hannah (I kid u not) are so-called difficult names and shouldn't be used alone. Mmmm tell that to gedolim who used them alone.

A few months ago, there was a thread where someone was worried about naming their daughter Chana because Chana had a tough life. But honestly, who in the Tanach didn’t? Every single one of the Avos and Imahos and all the other personalities mentioned in the Tanach all faced huge challenges.

If we’re only supposed to use Biblical names that aren’t linked to any struggles or difficulties, what’s even left?

amother

↑ Cerulean

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 1:47 pm

Ruchel wrote:

I have to ask: your opinion on my thread Dina/Dalia was that you don’t like Dina because of her story. But now it’s fine again?

↑ Ruchel

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 2:01 pm

amother Cerulean wrote:

I have to ask: your opinion on my thread Dina/Dalia was that you don’t like Dina because of her story. But now it’s fine again?

you're anonymous so I'm hesitating to answer this kinda combative question. Dina is absolutely fine to use and has been used since forever like all these names. I do what I want though.

amother

Indigo

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 2:42 pm

I've been thinking about writing a book about names and including different ideas about this topic exactly. I would want it to be kavodic and respectful of course. It would be "this gadol or group holds this way. Another holds differently. Some say use only the names that will be used while others encourage 2 names and are more lenient on using both."

It's not about good or bad. But if you can't name your kid every name so what are some guide lines you're looking for?

amother

Amaranthus

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 4:09 pm

I found this website for the first time while doing a google search trying to get more info about my daughter's slightly unusual Yiddish name.
What I came up with here was some disgusting comments about what people thought it sounded like...

P.S. That's not when I joined imamother!
It was only some time later that I did.
And I learned a lot about some of the types of things that people say here and don't get insulted in the least!!

zaq

Tue, Dec 03 2024, 4:12 pm

Ruchel wrote:

People try to avoid using names of individuals who had hard lives and many tzores. Ha! Name one person in Tanach or beyond who didn't have a hard life and many tzores.