Moving Out of Town

amother

OP ↓

Today at 12:50 pm

My husband is thinking he wants to move to an out of town city that is 6 hours away. He thinks it shouldn’t bother me not to live next to family, and we’ll just come in 2/3 times a year. Am I wrong for not wanting that? I don’t even want to travel for 12 hours to check out the place, can’t imagine doing it every time we want to come in for something.

Success10 ↓

Today at 12:54 pm

Moving out of town has many pluses and minuses. Obviously being far from family is a valid reason to be swayed from moving. You both need to sit down together and decide what’s best for everyone. It’s not him vs. you. Why does he want to move? How will it benefit the family?

nicole81

Today at 1:01 pm

You need to be on the same page. Why does he want to move? Forget the distance at first and just figure out the what (ie if you should move and why), and then you can discuss the where.

amother

Honeysuckle

Today at 1:03 pm

I am literally in the same exact situation right now
I'm so sad to move away from family, but I probably will have to because it's whst my husband wants so badly and he us miserable now

amother

Mimosa ↓

Today at 1:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

Is there a very good job opportunity there?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 2:43 pm

amother Mimosa wrote:

Is there a very good job opportunity there?

It would be to join a kollel

amother

↑ OP

Today at 2:44 pm

amother Honeysuckle wrote:

I am literally in the same exact situation right now
I'm so sad to move away from family, but I probably will have to because it's whst my husband wants so badly and he us miserable now

Why does he want to move there? Do you know anyone who lives there?

amother

Powderblue

Today at 2:47 pm

My friend who did this is miserable and lonely. Her husband has friends through the kollel but she doesn’t. Her friends and family are all far away. It makes life harder in so many ways.

↑ Success10

Today at 2:49 pm

Why does he want to join this kollel? Is there a big financial incentive?

amother

Clover

Today at 3:57 pm

Judging based on your current feelings it sounds like a bad idea.

What you could do is be open to spend a shabbos there. And then if its still no, then no.

amother

Tanzanite

Today at 3:58 pm

amother Honeysuckle wrote:

I am literally in the same exact situation right now
I'm so sad to move away from family, but I probably will have to because it's whst my husband wants so badly and he us miserable now

Same same.
Husband wants to move abroad, back to the place he was raised. after begging for a few years, I think I can no longer fight fate and will just have to accept going to live in that country

amother

↑ Mimosa

Today at 5:26 pm

amother OP wrote:

It would be to join a kollel

Are you in kollel now and would you potentially be moving with a group of friends?

Have you seen it and are there other plans for your husband if ur not interested

mha3484

Today at 5:40 pm

A lot of people are like you. I live OOT and many of the families coming here to join the kollelim have one relative already here either a sibling or cousin. Its very overwhelming to move to a new place where you don't know a soul.

I think there is also a group who really want to stay in kollel at all costs so they look for a paying kollel and are willing to really go outside their comfort zone to fund it. They have a touch of idealism that makes the idea less scary.