Sisters sharing a room - question

amother

↑ OP

Today at 9:04 am

amother Eggplant wrote:

Even asd kids can have the law laid down and adjust. I have an asd kid too and my biggest regrets are listening to such advice and making issues larger than they have to be. So asd or hormones are not a reason to give in here. It’s fine if it’s an adjustment period. Why is everyone so terrified of difficult transitions to the point of avoiding it at all costs? You just miss an opportunity for her to build resilience and coping skills. She’s getting older and needs these skills as a wife, mother, person in the work force. You are doing her a massive disservice by helping her run and all of you turning yourselves into pretzels.

I know but I'm concerned about damaging our relationship, which can be rocky lately with all of her mishigas. I want to make sure she feels understood and taken seriously by me. I did try pretty hard and was strong to the point of giving her a very forceful speech, in which she walked away crying and deflated. I'm not sure I want her to be so angry just so she learns how to build resilience. Life will let her learn that. I'm hoping as she matures, she can start seeing things outside of her little box ... But I can't force her to be more mature when she's just not there yet.
So hard to know with these things.....

amother

Melon

Today at 9:31 am

simcha12plus wrote:

I would put the 8 year old with bochurim. he will quickly learn to ignore the alarm.
He is already getting too old to be with a four year old sister

On the flip side I have in 8 year old that wakes up from every little thing and even though his brother has been waking up for Minyan since last year, he still does not sleep through his alarm and will not fall back asleep and has not been getting enough sleep because he also gets woken up when the older brother comes up at night even if he's quiet.
So sometimes this really isn't an option.
But if he is not such a light sleeper maybe that's a good option.

amother

Stoneblue

Today at 9:49 am

A lot is going to be about the two older girls and who they are, particularly how your 11 year old will be experienced by your 14 year old. You're worried about your relationship with your oldest dd; there is also the relationship between your girls. We had to separate ours who had completely opposite needs, in terms of sensory issues, interactions, etc. One could not adapt, and her actions were setting the other up to become inflexible in return. It wasn't worth it, and we came up with creative solutions to separate them. At which point they got along well in general.