What Was This Mother Thinking? Baby Not Dressed For Weather!

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Yesterday at 10:43 pm

Cheiny wrote:

What happened in the store? All the clothes came off? Highly doubtful… but Again, even if that was so, then why was she leisurely keeping the baby outside for so long while she loaded the bags?
All these scenarios didn’t seem to be the case at all…

No. Someone said maybe the baby had a diaper blowout, you said then the mom should have gone home. I said maybe the blowout happened in the store.
Again, you don’t know the full story, you only know the one snippet that you saw.

amother

Springgreen

Yesterday at 10:47 pm

I’m with u op!!
I’m completely shocked by so many of the responses on here. Taking a baby out like that in 20 degrees is abusive! Period!
And it’s so sad to see how many other mothers on here think it’s ok!
And even if the baby did have a blow out or took off their clothing, u put the clothing back on! I don’t care how hard it is! And if the baby has a blowout, u go straight home, u don’t go shopping!

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Yesterday at 10:49 pm

amother Springgreen wrote:

And there it is.

amother

↑ Fern

Yesterday at 10:51 pm

amother Fuchsia wrote:

I mean, if you live in Florida 40 degrees is extremely cold. It’s all relative. But as someone who lives somewhere that’s routinely below zero Fahrenheit and has seen wind chills in the -50s F, I can assure you, being outside in 20 degree weather for 5-10 minutes is in no way dangerous. Is it uncomfortable? Sure. But the child would have been just fine when she got into the car with a heater and a warm blanket.

Who said dangerous? It is freezing and more than uncomfortable.

amother

↑ Fuchsia

Yesterday at 11:06 pm

amother Fern wrote:

Who said dangerous? It is freezing and more than uncomfortable.

I would certainly hope the level of drama in this thread is reserved for children who are actually in danger.

amother

↑ Steel ↓

Yesterday at 11:34 pm

amother Brunette wrote:

It’s not so bad. I think you are overreacting. Some people don’t bundle up their children for a car ride. The car is warm and the jackets cause problems with the seatbelts. The mother probably took the baby out for a few minutes to run back and forth to the grocery and load up the car. Going out in the cold for short amounts of time is not just okay, but it’s actually healthy especially for children. Look up what children in Finland do. They are some of the healthiest children around. A little bit of cold weather is nothing to fear. If the baby wasn’t red or crying or seemed like she or he was suffering, she was just fine.

Baby not crying doesn't mean baby was fine. There were times when I was shocked to feel my young dc's or baby's hands to check if they were cold, and discover they were ice. And then pick up baby and baby was freezing. Sometimes when it's very cold, baby doesn't have the effort or energy to cry.

amother

Trillium ↓

Yesterday at 11:49 pm

amother Mintgreen wrote:

She could have put the baby in first and the loaded the groceries so baby isn’t out in the cold.

Agreed. People also seem to be missing the age of the baby. 3 months is very young, they're not so hardy then.

amother

↑ Trillium

Yesterday at 11:52 pm

Cheiny wrote:

I guess I should’ve expected all the justifications… but if you had seen what I saw, you’d know none of the above were likely or even possible.

And even if the child had removed every piece of clothing, and opened her jacket, or had a diaper blowout, it would still be beyond irresponsible to take the child out for a long shopping trip and keep the unclothed baby outside for that long while she talked on the phone and leisurely loaded the many bags into the car… everything I saw was just wrong.

As far as your claim that 20 degree weather isn’t cold, I’d challenge you to stand outside with no gloves on for 10 minutes and then picture the baby with no gloves, nothing on their legs or feet, and an open jacket, and then let us know if you maintain your position.

As I said, my hands were freezing through my gloves… that poor child..

I'm disturbed by all the comments saying you should have "missed your business." This is how child abuse in the frum world is excused.

amother

Hunter ↓

Yesterday at 11:57 pm

I went out with my 16 month old today and she was not wearing socks. I hope no one thought I was dysfunctional she does not know how to keep it on for more than 5 minutes
But even after our shopping trip and sitting in the shopping cart, her feet were not cold!

amother

↑ Peony ↓

Today at 12:02 am

amother Hunter wrote:

Were you wearing socks?

According to the American Board of Pediatrics, baby should wear same or one more layer than parent.

How do you know how cold her body was?

Underdressing babies is a pet peeve of mine.

amother

↑ Hunter

Today at 12:17 am

amother Peony wrote:

I tried to put them on she just keeps pulling them off
She was warmly dressed in a winter coat zippered up to her chin
It was also around 35 degrees not that cold
I wasn't worried

amother

↑ Peony ↓

Today at 12:58 am

Another bothersome scenario I encounter a lot, babies bundled up to their chin, wrapped in blanket hidden behind a stroller windshield plastic cover, in a well heated store.

Mothers, please remember to unzip your baby even if their sleeping, those infants are sweating and ch"v suffocating!

amother

↑ Poppy ↓

Today at 2:09 am

Cheiny wrote:

Was the baby crying? Babies cry when they’re uncomfortable

amother

↑ Mistyrose ↓

Today at 2:19 am

amother Ebony wrote:

Personally I think you overstepped big time op.
You have no idea whats going on in her life or why the baby was dressed like that.
But it was definitely none of your business.

I liked this post because I do think OP took it too far.
But I'm in Israel and have been told many times to dress my kids more warmly (bigger kids who have their own opinions, I send them with coats but they don't always wear them), and here it is TOTALLY acceptable to say something to the mother.
And I've said things to mothers as well. About helmets, seatbelts, baby carriers that are too low...

amother

↑ Mistyrose ↓

Today at 2:21 am

amother Candycane wrote:

That’s just not normal parenting. I’ll bet the teacher was horrified. I’m sure cps would be horrified too.

Normal parenting is to tell your child, "You can't be trusted to know how hot or cold your body feels. You need to listen to ME. Only adults know what you feel in your body."

And then we wonder why kids are so vulnerable to predatory adults. Banging head

amother

↑ Mistyrose ↓

Today at 2:24 am

amother Fern wrote:

20 degrees is extremely cold. It is quite literally below freezing temperature. Definitely not barefoot weather.

I'm still trying to understand whether this is 20C or 20F.

We are 20C here, some days higher some days lower, and it's nowhere near freezing.

amother

↑ Mistyrose

Today at 2:29 am

amother Peony wrote:

Overdressing babies is a pet peeve of mine.

Overdressing is a cause of SUIDS. It is much more dangerous than slightly underdressing.

amother

Floralwhite

Today at 2:32 am

amother Peony wrote:

This- overheating is way way more dangerous than being too cold.

Temperature of hands and feet is not actually a good indicator of how cold or hot a baby is. Touch the baby on the chest or back of the neck to see if you need to adjust layers. Those areas should be slightly warm and feel dry. If they are cold add layers if they are sweaty remove. Overheating can contribute to SIDS.

imaima

Today at 2:33 am

Cheiny wrote:

I went out this morning to the supermarket. It was extremely cold, I believe in the high 20’s. When I came out of the store, there was a mother holding a baby in her arms, speaking on her cell phone, and walking to her car with a huge wagon filled with many shopping bags full of groceries. As she juggled her phone, her baby and the wagon, she then proceeded to open the trunk of her car to load the groceries. She was moving slowly presumably because she was doing all three at once.

I glanced at the baby and was horrified when I noticed the child (perhaps a few months old) had nothing covering his/her legs from the knees down, they probably were wearing either a skimpy stretchie or a thin pajama, so nothing covering the legs or feet at all, no socks, and the jacket he/she was wearing on top was completely open and undone!

I myself was wearing gloves and my hands were frozen even with the gloves on, so I was imagining how that baby must’ve been freezing with his/her legs and feet completely bare and the jacket not even zipped or buttoned up! I was close enough to hear the mother’s phone conversation which was a casual one, so no, this wasn’t an “emergency situation,” which I’m sure some here may soon suggest…

As I watched her taking her time, loading the many bags into her car, again while juggling her phone and the baby in her other hand, I went over to offer my help… I interrupted her phone conversation and gently suggested the baby needed to be wearing socks and not have her legs exposed in below freezing weather, as I felt that was the most pressing issue. Before I could offer my help with the bags, she curtly nodded to me and then turned her back and returned to her call.

I pray for that helpless baby who must’ve been absolutely freezing. What I did notice was that ironically the mother was dressed very warmly herself. Everything was covered. She also was not very young looking, so no way to explain it away as a very young, first-time mother who doesn’t know any better… She finally decided to put the child into the car and then finished loading her bags while casually talking on the phone.

I left there feeling so sad that it didn’t occur to this mother to be more careful with how she dressed her child before taking him/her out into the freezing weather. Dan l’kaf zechus? I didn’t see any possible logical explanation for it, no matter how I tried, other than neglect or carelessness.

Could this very young baby have pulled off their socks, removed their leggings/pants, and unbuttoned their jacket? Not at all likely, more like impossible. Hashem should watch over those who are helpless…

I am with you but unfortunately commenting on baby without hats/socks is the biggest sin an older lady can do to a young mom. It’s literally so stereotypical that of course she ignored you even though you were probably correct to say something.

I know I always rolled my eyes when „people in the street“ said something.

I once had a friend A who rushed to my house once and asked for a newborn snowsuit. Our friend B just has a baby ans she saw her dh rolling the baby out in the winter completely underdressed. So she didn’t want to give a lecture but we packed it for them with a message „we have a spare snowsuit lying around maybe you could use it IF YOU DONT HAVE ONE YET hint hint“.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Today at 6:43 am

I think this thread would have played out differently if the op had said she had gone over to the mom and offered to help her, rather than offer her advice on how to take care of her baby.