Allergic to class pet

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 11:27 pm

amother Tealblue wrote:

How do you know they want to pressure you and not accommodate?? Did you already discuss this with them? Sounded like you didn't yet
You're COMPLETELY REASONABLE. I REPEAT: COMPLETELY REASONABLE.

when I mean pressure me to not accomodate, I am referring to our last conversations related to allergies, for example they wanted to remove his non jewish para from the class and have the teacher take over the role.

from the past conversations I presume what their attitude will be going forward. but the other poster had a good point. I’ll just get it in writing from the doctor to save myself some hassle of trying to explain it to them or convince them of what my son needs related to the class pet.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 11:33 pm

amother Pewter wrote:

I wouldn’t even mention anything about the learning. It’s making him SICK! How is that not enough?

I’m allergic to few things, bur I recently became allergic to dogs. My throat becomes itchy and painful, my nose gets runny, I sneeze nonstop, my eyes itch and water, I feel my whole body burning and crawling. It’s AWFUL. If he experiences anything similar I would literally not stop until that Guinea pig is out of the class. Offer to pay for a replacement goldfish or lizard if you have to (make sure he’s not allergic to reptiles- I’ve never heard of it but maybe it’s a thing)

thank you for sharing this, because he is not expressive enough to tell exactly whats wrong with him. The most I get is he doesn't feel well and doesn't want to go to school the past few months Sad

his mice allergy is double his dog allergy according to blood tests, so I can only imagine the extent of his internal non visible symptoms.

amother

↑ Tealblue

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 11:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

Preferring not having that para is different than a class pet. Please do discuss it with them.

amother

Diamond ↓

Fri, Nov 22 2024, 12:21 am

amother OP wrote:

I can relate…his grandfather was highly offended when I suggested giving the their dog up for adoption due to my son being allergic and we cant visit a house where the dog lives because my son gets sick every time. I got a whole lecture about how they love the dog and it was insensitive for me to even suggest it. They still invite us frequently, and sound surprised when I decline even though I reiterate that my son cant go in the house because of the dog. it just never sinks in yet.

[b]

I’m going to go out on a limb here, but it’s possible that it’s the way you interact with the school that’s causing the issues.

Based on the quote earlier. I have kids with severe allergies, both food and environmental. I will not tell my parents or in laws to change anything about their environments or eating habits when I go to their houses. That’s their choice. When they come to my house, yes, I’d get mad if they brought in food my kids are anaphylactic to. My house has no carpets. My in-laws do. We can’t sleep there , and that’s fine. I don’t expect a home remodel from them.

Telling someone to give up a dog so you can visit is harsh. You can have the grandparents come to you, visit outdoors, or section off one ‘dog free’ room in their house to make things work.

Same with non-Jewish para. I discussed this with my child’s school this year. We had an open conversation. I understand why they didn’t want it. Found a Jewish para. It’s working BH.

That said, for the class pet, you should absolutely say something, shouldn’t really be an issue. My child’s school is very accommodating in such aspects.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Nov 22 2024, 12:50 am

amother Diamond wrote:

The suggestion was for them, I actually prefer not to go to their house and am happy with the current arrangement. they want us to visit, and they do not want to drive out to our house. But I do see it can be viewed as insensitive, but it was nit for my benefit.

I also prefer a jewish para, if that was a solution that would be great, but they wanted me to just do without a para. They are not helping me find a jewish para. By the way are you in NY? wondering if you know of networks or connections that could help me find a Jewish.

but you are correct, it is due to my interaction with the school because I did not know how to respond to them. I said I agree I wish I had a jewish agency and jewish staff like last year without the issues we are having. That I wanted someone in addition to the morah to act as the para because the Rebbi is busy Educating. That my child is not only allergic to food and they persist to ask if there is anything that would make me feel comfortable doing without the para like the other kids that have anaphalaxis.

Truth is the paras the agency has been sending this year have been nearly worthless. one did not even know I took my child out during recess until 20 mins later. staff changes almost every week. but again I did not know how to communicate that yes I agree they have been worthless, but I have to advocate for better services (which I have been with both the agency and DOE), the solution is not to give up having services altogether.

I hope my school will also be accommodating about the pet without resistance.

amother

↑ Diamond

Fri, Nov 22 2024, 12:57 am

Sounds like you might be NYC, which I’m not. Your agency should help you find a para, if you are using a frum agency.

That being said, for your child’s sake, what do you need the Para for specifically?

Most kids do better without a para, unless really needed. It makes them feel different.
So if someone needed help keeping up in class, or socially, it’s a necessity. But if you can get away with para just part of the time…

My daughter has a friend with medical issues and needs a medical aid to take her to the bathroom as she can’t go on her own. The aid works in the school as a different job, and takes her at a set schedule, so it’s not obvious that she’s different.

amother

Heather

Fri, Nov 22 2024, 1:13 am

Oh, OP, of course he doesn't want to go to school. He's feeling miserable.

My DD had seasonal allergies so bad it was like flu!

I would really urge you to try some functional medicine.

DD once had her eye all blown up. Pediatrician wanted to give cortisone. Holistic doctor gave quercetin, maybe B complex, I forget now. And taught me to drain sinuses.

There's a lot you can do to support his immune system.

For example, a spoonful of local raw honey, given daily over time, can greatly reduce pollen sensitivity.

Hatzlacha!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Nov 25 2024, 4:32 pm

I informed the school of the news that DS is allergic to the class pet, and requested to be accommodated by removing the pet from the class (as doctor suggested to me). The response was they requested a doctor's note, but did not address the actual request to remove the pet.

My doctor is providing a note, so that is not a problem. But I feel a little disappointed, that they would not just provide the accommodation. As if they don't believe me, or they really don't want to accommodate me but can't argue with the doctor. Or am I looking at this wrong and being too sensitive.

↑ singleagain

Mon, Nov 25 2024, 4:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

I think there might be a history in this country of allergies not being taken quite so seriously. I often see online that these kind of things might be an uphill battle

amother

↑ Mauve

Mon, Nov 25 2024, 4:57 pm

amother OP wrote:

Oy no it should definitely not be this way. Can you speak to the teacher directly? And please offer some sympathy, I feel so bad for the class, I know how nice it is for the kids to have a pet. I wish I didn't have to ask this of you. My son is really getting sick from the pet, I need to ask that it be passed on to another classroom. I'd be happy to help you get another pet that he tolerates, maybe fish could work. Yes, I know it's not the same and believe me, I wish my son would be well enough to not need this accommodation, right now there's really no other way for him to stay in school safely. I really appreciate that you're so considerate of his needs.....
I have been that mother so many times. I really feel for you. And the school's response is really unacceptable, although sadly, not too shocking.

Do you know if your son has mast cell activation syndrome? It doesn't make much of a difference if he does or doesn't, treatment would prob be the same. You might just get better accommodations if you have a diagnosis besides allergies.