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Forum
-> Children's Health
-> Allergies
amother
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Yesterday at 11:27 pm
amother Tealblue wrote: | How do you know they want to pressure you and not accommodate?? Did you already discuss this with them? Sounded like you didn't yet
You're COMPLETELY REASONABLE. I REPEAT: COMPLETELY REASONABLE. |
when I mean pressure me to not accomodate, I am referring to our last conversations related to allergies, for example they wanted to remove his non jewish para from the class and have the teacher take over the role.
from the past conversations I presume what their attitude will be going forward. but the other poster had a good point. I’ll just get it in writing from the doctor to save myself some hassle of trying to explain it to them or convince them of what my son needs related to the class pet.
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amother
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Yesterday at 11:34 pm
amother OP wrote: | when I mean pressure me to not accomodate, I am referring to our last conversations related to allergies, for example they wanted to remove his non jewish para from the class and have the teacher take over the role.
from the past conversations I presume what their attitude will be going forward. but the other poster had a good point. I’ll just get it in writing from the doctor to save myself some hassle of trying to explain it to them or convince them of what my son needs related to the class pet. |
Preferring not having that para is different than a class pet. Please do discuss it with them.
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amother
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Today at 12:21 am
amother OP wrote: | I can relate…his grandfather was highly offended when I suggested giving the their dog up for adoption due to my son being allergic and we cant visit a house where the dog lives because my son gets sick every time. I got a whole lecture about how they love the dog and it was insensitive for me to even suggest it. They still invite us frequently, and sound surprised when I decline even though I reiterate that my son cant go in the house because of the dog. it just never sinks in yet. | [b]
I’m going to go out on a limb here, but it’s possible that it’s the way you interact with the school that’s causing the issues.
Based on the quote earlier. I have kids with severe allergies, both food and environmental. I will not tell my parents or in laws to change anything about their environments or eating habits when I go to their houses. That’s their choice. When they come to my house, yes, I’d get mad if they brought in food my kids are anaphylactic to. My house has no carpets. My in-laws do. We can’t sleep there , and that’s fine. I don’t expect a home remodel from them.
Telling someone to give up a dog so you can visit is harsh. You can have the grandparents come to you, visit outdoors, or section off one ‘dog free’ room in their house to make things work.
Same with non-Jewish para. I discussed this with my child’s school this year. We had an open conversation. I understand why they didn’t want it. Found a Jewish para. It’s working BH.
That said, for the class pet, you should absolutely say something, shouldn’t really be an issue. My child’s school is very accommodating in such aspects.
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amother
Pear
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Today at 12:32 am
Are you able to get a Jewish para? Sounds like that would be the best solution.
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amother
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Today at 12:50 am
amother Diamond wrote: | [b]
I’m going to go out on a limb here, but it’s possible that it’s the way you interact with the school that’s causing the issues.
Based on the quote earlier. I have kids with severe allergies, both food and environmental. I will not tell my parents or in laws to change anything about their environments or eating habits when I go to their houses. That’s their choice. When they come to my house, yes, I’d get mad if they brought in food my kids are anaphylactic to. My house has no carpets. My in-laws do. We can’t sleep there , and that’s fine. I don’t expect a home remodel from them.
Telling someone to give up a dog so you can visit is harsh. You can have the grandparents come to you, visit outdoors, or section off one ‘dog free’ room in their house to make things work.
Same with non-Jewish para. I discussed this with my child’s school this year. We had an open conversation. I understand why they didn’t want it. Found a Jewish para. It’s working BH.
That said, for the class pet, you should absolutely say something, shouldn’t really be an issue. My child’s school is very accommodating in such aspects. |
The suggestion was for them, I actually prefer not to go to their house and am happy with the current arrangement. they want us to visit, and they do not want to drive out to our house. But I do see it can be viewed as insensitive, but it was nit for my benefit.
I also prefer a jewish para, if that was a solution that would be great, but they wanted me to just do without a para. They are not helping me find a jewish para. By the way are you in NY? wondering if you know of networks or connections that could help me find a Jewish.
but you are correct, it is due to my interaction with the school because I did not know how to respond to them. I said I agree I wish I had a jewish agency and jewish staff like last year without the issues we are having. That I wanted someone in addition to the morah to act as the para because the Rebbi is busy Educating. That my child is not only allergic to food and they persist to ask if there is anything that would make me feel comfortable doing without the para like the other kids that have anaphalaxis.
Truth is the paras the agency has been sending this year have been nearly worthless. one did not even know I took my child out during recess until 20 mins later. staff changes almost every week. but again I did not know how to communicate that yes I agree they have been worthless, but I have to advocate for better services (which I have been with both the agency and DOE), the solution is not to give up having services altogether.
I hope my school will also be accommodating about the pet without resistance.
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amother
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Today at 12:57 am
Sounds like you might be NYC, which I’m not. Your agency should help you find a para, if you are using a frum agency.
That being said, for your child’s sake, what do you need the Para for specifically?
Most kids do better without a para, unless really needed. It makes them feel different.
So if someone needed help keeping up in class, or socially, it’s a necessity. But if you can get away with para just part of the time…
My daughter has a friend with medical issues and needs a medical aid to take her to the bathroom as she can’t go on her own. The aid works in the school as a different job, and takes her at a set schedule, so it’s not obvious that she’s different.
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amother
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Today at 12:58 am
amother Pear wrote: | Are you able to get a Jewish para? Sounds like that would be the best solution. |
I have been looking, no success so far.
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amother
Heather
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Today at 1:13 am
Oh, OP, of course he doesn't want to go to school. He's feeling miserable.
My DD had seasonal allergies so bad it was like flu!
I would really urge you to try some functional medicine.
DD once had her eye all blown up. Pediatrician wanted to give cortisone. Holistic doctor gave quercetin, maybe B complex, I forget now. And taught me to drain sinuses.
There's a lot you can do to support his immune system.
For example, a spoonful of local raw honey, given daily over time, can greatly reduce pollen sensitivity.
Hatzlacha!
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amother
Wheat
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Today at 1:26 am
I think any effort you make to justify how bad his allergies are is completely unnecessary. All you have to say is that you've realized that your son is allergic to the class guinea pig. I'd actually also consider getting a doctor's note.
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singleagain
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Today at 3:38 am
amother OP wrote: | I just . the school staff already thinks I’m overboard, From their point of view, if there is an anaphylactic response give an epi. have a nice day. I dont think they had to administer an epipen yet. |
I find this attitude of the school to Anaphylaxics troubling . If you have to administer an EpiPen you should still go to the hospital. You can't just administer it and have a nice day.
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