To my child’s teacher

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 6:29 am

Goldie613 wrote:

OP, I agree with 99.9% of what others are saying. The only thing I would maybe change is the idea that your daughter should change classes right now. If her closest friends are with her in the class, losing that connection may be one more hard change in an already terribly hard time. If you think your daughter is mature enough to make the decision, maybe you or your husband could ask her what her thoughts are on changing classes - would she rather have this teacher and stay with the classmates she likes/is used to, or would she rather have a different teacher but have new classmates?

Refuah shelaima! Hug

I wouldn’t change her out of her class for everything but this is a 3 x a week class, I am going to see if she be moved to another level/ teacher for this subject.

Chayalle

Today at 8:03 am

I want to think this isn't true, I can't even comprehend it. Hugs to your daughter. I also want to say that I relate very much to what you wrote about a child with ADHD and the last period of the day...it's really tough. Your daughter deserves a more supportive environment on every front!

amother

Dimgray

Today at 8:35 am

amother OP wrote:

It’s unfortunately very real.
I changed the wording and a few lines so it wasn’t obvious what school this is and my daughters details of her adhd/ learning disability, but basically the teacher decided my daughter has spent all year looking for excuses and that this is just another convenient excuse that she is trying .
The teacher also believes adhd is because she isn’t disciplined.
I am tempted to ask about taking her out. I can’t imagine the frustration of dealing with a teacher who thinks a mother being not able to breathe snd and possibly end of life is just being used an excuse.
(My daughter is medicated but by last period of day it can start to wear off but regardless she is not a behavioral kid at all, just a little impulsive , executive functioning challenges, etc. ).

What? That makes it even worse, and I didn't think this story could possibly get worse. It's definitely time to go nuclear.

amother

Chicory ↓

Today at 8:44 am

Dear Op,

Refuah shelaima! Your love and support for your dd comes through.

As someone whos mother was very ill from ages 12 to 15, let me tell you the school of life your dd is living now is way more helpful to her long term than getting a report in on time.

Echoing others that this is so bad I am crying. My situation was over TWENTY FIVE YEARS AGO before chai lifeline and the awareness today and I never had anything so horrific.

To your dd, if shes able to accept it, the best thing to tell her is this grade will have no impact on her life and is not her priority or concern right now. It is not important.

[And giving a 6th grader a 0 because late for any reason? What on earth ]

Glad you're probably moving her out.

Not so familiar with what chai lifeline can do but can you forward this to your coordinator and get this teacher some "sensitivity training". Even if the school "fixes" the grade and talks to the teacher, she is in desperate need of an attitude adjustment.

amother

Wine

Today at 9:02 am

Op I am so sorry to hear about what you and your family are going through.
I have been a teacher for many years in a large "in town" school and I can barely put into words my shock that this happened. This is the most egregious case of teacher cruelty that I have even seen. You will be doing a tremendous chessed if you send the letter to the principal and anyone else who can help get this teacher removed. That she teaches children sends chills up my spine. The fact that she had no busha, and was willing to put this in writing, demonstrates how far gone she really is. Telling this to an adult college student would be cruel. Doing this to an 11 or 12 year old?!!! There are literally no words.

amother

↑ OP

Today at 9:02 am

amother Chicory wrote:

Chai lifeline actually did speak to the school and had a teleconference with teachers, but not sure if this teacher attended.
For sure I know grades aren’t priority right now. But it was enough to make me upset that my daughter was crying over it and that was what she was talking about when she came to visit. I don’t think she should have a 0 averaged in, and for sure not on a report that she did and emailed in on time just because it wasn’t printed.
My husband is going to speak to the principal this morning to follow up.

amother

Bluebell

Today at 9:21 am

Wow what an absolutely disgusting email.
Refuah shelaimah op and you’re amazing for sticking up for your daughter even when you’re unwell! This teacher deserves to be fired.
When I was in high school my mom was in the hospital for a few months and I was excused from doing reports at all

keym

Today at 9:27 am

Refuah shelaima op.
Like everyone else im horrified.

But in general I'm horrified at such a general rigid teacher. I've never had a teacher who gives a 0 for not handling it in, especially if child has an email or disk and extenuating circumstances.
My daughter has had some pretty rigid teaches in general, and the most it's been is 10 points off for handing in late with a very lame excuse - and that was in 12th grade.
This does not seem to be a person who should be teaching ANY students not just your daughter.

Cookin4days

Today at 9:29 am

Feel better Op!

I hope the school has an understanding principle, I couldn’t even finish reading reply back because I was fuming from what this teacher said she sounds like such a witch!!! Your poor daughter Sad

but she’s lucky she has great parents who are advocating for her here

flowerpower

Today at 9:49 am

First of all- big refuah shlaima to you😘

Second of all- this teacher should not work with children! She can work at a cemetery instead. Age 11-13 is a very hormonal age and they need warm caring tolerant teachers at this age. Not someone that will destroy them for life. The email was so cold and heartless that it would make a none sick adult cry. This is very unacceptable.

amother

Aubergine

Today at 10:14 am

This would be unacceptable even if it were an elite manhattan private school in high school. But this is SIXTH grade in a FRUM school?! I think the letter speaks for itself— no need to fight back or try to make your case, it’s beyond that point. Just send to the principal.

I’m truly sorry OP that you have to go through this on top of all your tzurus health wise. Wishing you a refuah sheleima bkarov

amother

↑ Chicory

Today at 10:34 am

amother OP wrote:

Op, I hope my support for your stance comes through! And my pain for your pain as a mother and my empathy w your dd. This is horrific amd you should be upset and this teacher needs one on one sensitivity training.

I mentioned that part w dd (if shes able to accepr it, not if will make her more upset) because I gained so much in resiliance amd prioritization from the bad times that have been a tremendous asset in my adult life. These were things tbat were said to me and stuck in a positive way.

This was not to minimize the situation at all or suggest it does not need to be taken care of and fixed.

Refuah shaima. Im sure your dd feels yout love and your fight!

amother

↑ Buttercup

Today at 10:55 am

amother OP wrote:

The grade isn't important to you but it is to your daughter and I understand that.
She needs to feel like her work is valued. That the time and effort she put into the report with all the chaos around her is valued by the person demanding she do it.
It's something to help build your daughters self esteem and self confidence
And this teacher took it all literally threw it out the window, knocking your daughter down. For no good reason at all!
My heart literally hurts for this girl! She's innocently tried to do the best she could and even problem solved to the best of her ability and instead of the teacher saying good for you for working it out even with everything going on at home she knocked her down.
This little girl was supposed to anticipate her mother getting ill!? To hand in the report early!? Really!? Do we all plan for tragedy?