S/o What were you like in HS? And now?

amother

Today at 12:47 am

What were you like in high school?

What are you like now?

Personally I feel like I am pretty similar now as I was in high school. I was friendly with everyone with one best friend. I had a strong work ethic and was very conscientious. Although I've definitely matured and developed through life experiences, I don't feel radically different now.

I'm curious to hear other experiences.

amother

NeonGreen

Today at 2:35 am

A bit nerdy with a solid group of friends that are still my friends today, almost 20 years out. Never dreamed I would be doing what I am today. I’m am a sought after name in what I do, a bit of a ‘celebrity’ among teenagers. (I’m in the music field.) I know that some people are intimidated by me though for the life of mine I can’t figure out why. I’m a very friendly, non judgmental person. It’s so funny what life has become.

amother

Coral

Today at 3:29 am

A completely different person.

I was socially and emotionally clueless. I felt like I was drowning every day, daily panic attacks but didn't know why. Anxiety, depression, devoloped codependent relationships, ran into issues with the school. I was a good kid, I wasn't rebellious just struggling with a lot. An abusive home life etc.

I have a lot of good memories from high school though, mainly from my friends. My best friends from there are still my good friends now, 10 years later.

But we're all different people from who we were then.

amother

Calendula

Today at 4:14 am

In high school I had the world at my feet. I was not the Queen Bee, but I had my place and I was for the most part very happy. I very much enjoyed my life, I was successful at more or less successful at what ever I set my mind to and I was sure that my life would continue exactly like that. Today, I've been so burned by disappointment after disappointment and the constant struggle that is life. Don't get me wrong, there is so much good in my life and compared to other tzaros, mine are a walk in the park. I just wasn't prepared for a very difficult ( yet not altogether horrible) marriage, children with mild yet impactful learning disabilities, constant financial struggle, adjusting to moving to the other side of the world, some children going otd and never becoming the successful career woman I always thought I'd be, instead working in a field that I really don't enjoy. I've lost every shred of confidence I ever had, my joi de vivre and I'm basically a shadow of my former self. You wouldn't know it if you met me because I present a very positive, put together image to the world. The worst part of it is though, that even though I really try to work on my emuna, and count my blessings ( of which there are many) I constantly fail and then I eat myself up with guilt for feeling this way when there is so much worse suffering around me.

amother

Silver

Today at 5:01 am

amother OP wrote:

Was thinking about this recently
I was successful in school and a hard worker
Today I'm struggling emotionally
Hardly any social life and accomplishments
On the other hand I'm less insecure

Ruchel

Today at 5:15 am

Different.
I was often friend with the religious xtians, the Asians, the aristocrats, the others from old school families.
I knew I wouldn't raise my children way out of town. It's also a bet. My parents kah were thinking it's the home that matters.
Posted with my mother's permission.

To be fair it gave me a ton of self confidence, basically I don't need numbers to feel like I'm right

amother

Holly

Today at 7:17 am

Hs: insecure, ditzy, skipped class, lonely, sad, superficial, gorgeous, aloof, snobby, striving, growing, seeking, yearning.
Now: calm, confident, empathetic, connected, somewhat burned from life, artistic, playful, healthy

itsokay

Today at 7:20 am

High school was hard for me. I wasn't so self aware and I struggled socially and with how I presented myself. BH I've gotten better and better at this stuff over the years and I feel much more comfortable in my skin and confident today. Sometimes I'm embarrassed of who I was in high school, I'm working on trying to love and accept that sweet, clueless girl that I was.

amother

Aubergine

Today at 7:25 am

I’m an introvert and only learned that abt myself in adulthood. The sensory overload that was high school was way too much for me. I never knew why I was unhappy thou. Socially I was ok, there were times I felt more stable in my friend group and other times I didn’t. I don’t think I had a best friend. Sometimes I acted really stupid or immature.

Bh adult life has treated me a lot better. Dh and I have a couple were really close with. Good kids, do ok financially. I put DH thru med school which I think would shock all my teachers and principals who told me I’d be a failure cuz I couldn’t manage to show up on time ..

amother

Navyblue

Today at 7:29 am

Oh I wouldn’t want to go back there…

I was so insecure, I had a great group of likeminded friends but I couldn’t bring myself to trust them that they’ll like me if I couldn’t prove my worth. I always came up with grand plans n gestures to stay relevant.

I was also very studious having the need to prove myself to my teachers n principals but I never felt seen or that my efforts paid off. I was only ever seen by them for tiny infractions in tznius or similar that were probably unintentional.

Today, 15 years later, im so much more confident in who I am, the kind of person I want to be and I actually learned to like myself!

amother

Babyblue

Today at 7:41 am

Interesting question. In HS I had friends although I was somewhat clueless in general. No real drive to succeed. Busied myself with my friends and whatever else I had my mind on. I wasn't looking for a career. I was not well thought out about life.

Now, Marriage was a struggle but better now somehow. A bracha from Hashem. Kids were difficult, one in particular was and is difficult. I definitely had to stretch myself beyond what I had ever imagined. I work full time. I found out I have much more drive and strengths than I ever imagined. I'm not the most put together person, I think I presented myself better in my younger years,but I'm doing ok.

amother

Puce

Today at 7:44 am

High school wasn't perfect, but I felt fulfilled, had a great group of friends, teachers who appreciated me for me even though I wasn't at all academic, and I lived for the performances, jobs, chagigas, big sister programs, volunteering, school shabbos....

Fast forward 15 years and I've lost touch with most of my friends, I have a great job but I'm in upper management and not in the greatest position to make too many friends at work, and my personal life challenges have left me with little confidence and self worth.

amother

Cobalt

Today at 7:50 am

I have many differences. One significant one is that I had no friends then. Now I have many close friends who are like sisters to me.

amother

Cyclamen

Today at 8:00 am

High School I was very insecure and I was the loner on the side but tried really hard to figure out who I was.

Now I have friends and I am confident and even though I have a few friends and a husband who loves me that is great with me.

amother

Melon

Today at 8:10 am

I grew up in a challenging home, which affected my high school experience. I was actually in a highly academic school and I got top grades without so much difficulty, but it really left me not much time for socializing (I was pretty much running the house - cooking, laundry, raising my siblings). When you don't socialize much, you also don't develop social skills. I see my high school self as a sort of academic nerd, socially-off in a lot of ways, also didn't dress so normally for a teen, nebby. I had lots of friends the week of exams, though - suddenly I was very popular, as were my notes. They promptly forgot I existed during vacation.

I think I came out alot after marriage. I became much more socially and self-aware. I guess you could say I developed myself for the first time in my life. So I have changed since my high school years. Still, I'm essentially me, just a more rounded version.

amother

Burntblack

Today at 8:13 am

I was nerdy and didn't have a lot of friends. I succeeded academically. Now, I am divorced and struggle in every area of life with almost nothing to show for myself. Deep pain all the time.

amother

Taupe

Today at 8:46 am

Similar. Though life has shaped me and I am much deeper, selfless, wise…perks of being a mom and wife for 20+ years.

amother

Fern

Today at 8:52 am

Hundred student, full of friends, successfull, a doer, fulfilled and happy.
Just a few years later with Lots of challenges, lonely, depressed, unmotivated, failing life.
When I walk on the street and see hs girls coming from school I just wish I can turn back the clock! Life was so care free and simple!

amother

Mimosa

Today at 9:03 am

I was always a nerd. Still am. I was embarrassed by myself.
I was very empathetic. I always looked at a person's soul rather than how they dressed / represented themselves.
Coming from a challanging background, I knew what it's like to struggle at home and I always felt for the underdog.
I wasn't super popular but I had friends although I always felt insecure with it amd emotionally I kept them at arms length.
I had a severe learning disability and would be pulled out to the resource room up til 4th grade when I finally mastered the basics and was able to go on from there.
That really did a number on my confidence. It wasn't the going out as much as the sitting in the classroom and not being able to keep up in any single area except math. (There I was top of the class all throughout school) and I carried that thru 9th grade. In 9th I hadn't learned a thing. Discipline was bad and I was a good kid so I just constantly tuned everything out. Most of the time....
I also have a severely neglectful and abusive home life. Plus extreme poverty. But with EVERYTHING going on I had a flair of putting myself together and always looking nice. I had extremely easy to manage hair. Like all I had to do was brush it once and it was perfect. I was also pretty with a symmetrical face, sharp attractive features and darker completion. With some dimples to soften it out. I also was thin with a very curvy body.
Although I appreciated that I looked "nicely put together" I never ever felt pretty at all
Just the opposite. I felt ugly unfortunately. (Well I was told I was on a fualt basis... so...)
I never understood why I would get so many looks/comments when I'd go out in the streets.

In 10th grade I switched to a different school that was a lot less academically focused and that was amazing. Some of my old friends were there too. I was able to thrive academicly. But socially I still struggled. Albeit less so.
10-12 were the best years of my school life/childhood.

As an adult I'm not much different. But I've learned to embrace my differences/ idiosyncrasies. I have a depth to myself, that was always there, but not always accessible. Also, I've come to realize that on top of my learning disability, I likely have adhd and instead of living in the moment, most of my social interactions in school were spent masking..... which bh I do not do.
Instead of being embarrassed by my challanges, I appreciate who it has helped shape me into.
I still have that flair that no matter what Tim going thru, I'm able to just feel and look put together and pull a smile over my face.
I am confident in who I am thru and thru.
Yes I sometimes made weird comments or zone out in social environments. I have crazy ideas but I don't care. Becuase I made them happen if I want to.
I'm loving my life bh. And have a few individual friends (not as angeoup really. I find that too hard to manage. Lol!) Who know me for me. Friends I've met as adults. Friends who are like sisters to me.
Same with neighbors bh! I'm truly blessed.

I am now the friend amd neighbor people talk to when they need a listening ear and more so practical advice and help.
I am a lot more capable of holding other peoples pain for them than the average person. I can carry a lot. My heart is used to pain unfortunately. But im now able to do it without completely destroying me. It also helps me appreciate what I have.
I truly believe if I can overcome my childhood (after lots of therapy for severe cptsd. Lol!) I can do anything.
And yes, I know I'm pretty now. My husband makes sure I know it. Every single day. He can barely keep his hands off me even thoigh in 50 lbs more than we first got married. (Married 15+ years and all those pregnancies..... )

If you read till here, sorry, My adhd got ahead of me. LOL

amother

Eggplant

Today at 9:29 am

I had low self confidence, low self esteem , social anxiety. Bh , I have greatly improved in all those areas.