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Forum
-> Pregnancy & Childbirth
-> Baby Names
amother
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 Sun, Nov 24 2024, 6:49 pm
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Not to name after them, to name after someone else, but close relative has the same name. We're not sefardi. Did anyone ever get a heter for this?
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Ellie7
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 6:53 pm
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We did this. I don’t believe you need a heter because it’s not Halacha. But also Rav Moshe holds that a name is a full name. So Moshe Dovid is a totally different name than Moshe Tzvi, for example. So, if you had a different middle name (which we did), it would also be a non-issue.
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amother
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 6:56 pm
| Ellie7 wrote: | | We did this. I don’t believe you need a heter because it’s not Halacha. But also Rav Moshe holds that a name is a full name. So Moshe Dovid is a totally different name than Moshe Tzvi, for example. So, if you had a different middle name (which we did), it would also be a non-issue. |
Interesting. I'm going to ask bn but I really hope my rav holds this way!
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amother
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 6:58 pm
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It only matters if it’s your parent or grandparent
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amother
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 7:00 pm
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Just curious, why would you do that?
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amother
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 7:01 pm
It’s a problem because we specifically name after them when they die, so we specifically don’t when they are alive. In the ashkenaz world.
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amother
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 7:01 pm
Because someone else very close with one of the same names just passed away. And the parent is mochel us to use the name, but I need to ask if it's allowed
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amother
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 7:02 pm
In my community it's a no
Definitely ask your Rav
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amother
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 7:03 pm
| amother Pansy wrote: | In my community it's a no
Definitely ask your Rav |
Will do
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mathbrain
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 7:04 pm
| amother Moccasin wrote: | | It’s a problem because we specifically name after them when they die, so we specifically don’t when they are alive. In the ashkenaz world. |
If this is the case, and the parent / grandparent actually wants you to use the name, definitely ask.
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amother
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 7:05 pm
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Maybe you can add a name to change it and call them by the added name… that’s the likely way to work around it
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scintilla
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 7:10 pm
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Definitely ask a rav but I know a case where someone was allowed to give the name as a second name and didn't call by it. It was a parent.
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amother
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 7:12 pm
I would never do it. I personally wouldn't even ask the shaalah. I would feel like it's an ayin hara to the living grandparent.
Maybe you can pick a name that has similar meaning/sound or something more generic like Menachem, Nechama, Chaim, etc.?
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amother
Maroon
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 7:19 pm
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I wouldn’t give the name of a living parent or grandparent even if they say it’s okay because we name after them after they die. If my parent had two names, Yosef Moshe, and everyone knew them as Yosef and never used the Moshe part, and I wanted to name the baby Reuven Moshe, then maybe I’d consider it. I wonder what your Rav will tell you. I wouldn’t be comfortable even if I was told it’s allowed.
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Molly Weasley
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 7:25 pm
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It's an issue of kibbud av, not to be taken lightly.
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amother
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 7:27 pm
| amother Moccasin wrote: | | Maybe you can add a name to change it and call them by the added name… that’s the likely way to work around it |
It's not for those for whom it's not allowed
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amother
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 7:28 pm
| Molly Weasley wrote: | | It's an issue of kibbud av, not to be taken lightly. |
The parent explicitly told us they would be mochel it
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singleagain
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 7:30 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Because someone else very close with one of the same names just passed away. And the parent is mochel us to use the name, but I need to ask if it's allowed |
So... When I was recently dating someone, a discussion of names came up
And one of the names he wanted was the same as my mother's, I spoke to my mom about it and she said she was okay, maybe bc it was a two name name and my mom just had the one..I don't know, but that alone made me feel secure that if we had gone forward I wouldn't have felt guilty... At least that is how I thought at that time. We broke up so I don't know what would have actually been.
But I think of the parent is okay, that's the important permission to have gotten
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itsokay
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Sun, Nov 24 2024, 7:31 pm
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I've heard of being allowed to do it with permission from the one who's name you are using
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