Being sensitive with Purim theme

amother

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 10:27 am

How sensitive to others should I be with my Purim theme? (If you want to know why I’m thinking about this now, it’s because I had a dream about it lol)

I had an idea for a cute costume we can do, it has to do with the number of kids in our family. For example, Goldilocks and the 3 little bears or something like that. But then I was thinking, it’s very in your face about the number, would it make people who are having trouble having kids feel bad?

amother

Hosta

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 10:36 am

I was just thinking about this also. I don't think you have to worry. It's very nice of you and very sensitive, but I think at that point it's just part of the person's nisayon to handle and not your responsibility. I think maternity related costumes are more of an issue. Purim is painful in general for people without kids or with trouble having kids.

I personally am stuck on a certain number of kids, having lost some pregnancies (late, family knew). My sil just surpassed the number I would have had if I hadn't had losses, and I think if she did that I would really cry.

amother

Smokey ↓

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 12:03 pm

Look, the fact that you have kids at all will set some people off. The fact that you have a family and are doing a family theme may set some people off. The fact that you're all presumably able-bodied will set some people off. None of this is your problem. You can't wrap the world in cotton. Sooner or later everyone has to come to terms with the fact that some people have more than they do. But it's very sweet of you to be so concerned.

amother

Wandflower

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 12:06 pm

By this logic hide your kids inside and skip costumes. If someone is sensitive the whole Purim is triggering it’s literally centered around the kids. It makes no difference what costumes you choose.

amother

DarkGreen

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 12:07 pm

Goldilocks and the three bears, no problem. Snow White and the seven dwarves, maybe a problems. Baker’s Dozen, I’d be worried about ayin hara

amother

Oldlace

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 12:16 pm

It's beautiful you are so sensitive to others feelings. A ganzt yar purim. So never too early to think about it. Unless you are dressing up as something that is teully derogatory then live and let live. Should we all hide our children because people may be sensitive??? Purim is a day of celebration and as long as you are doing so in a pleasant way with no outward negative connotation then go ahead and enjoy.
I have had my years of many losses . Crying Through purim and megilla. Nobody showed insensitivity. It was my own inner feelings I had to work Through. Please go ahead and embrace the day with joy

Simple1

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 12:16 pm

I just wouldn’t give out a picture with the MM. But that’s how I feel about any theme.

amother

Ecru ↓

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 12:47 pm

Im very upset when I see prisoner costumes. So many family's have a father in prison which they visit on Sundays and hes in the "costume". seeing someone dressed up like that is very very painful. No one would think to dress their kids as chemo patients but somehow prisoners is accepted.

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 2:05 pm

I'm dealing with infertility for a few years already - I wouldnt be upset by seeing that. I think it's really cute!

amother

Winterberry

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 2:08 pm

I think there are certain costumes that are accepted to be offensive (like blackface) otherwise, it really depends on who you’ll be spending Purim with. In my experience, within my community , almost anything goes. Ppl see it as creative and not as offensive

amother

↑ Smokey

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 2:15 pm

Ecru, I'm not disagreeing with your thesis, but you know of "so many" families with a father in prison? Unless they're political prisoners in the FSU or an Arab country, how do you know "so many" families with men in jail?

amother

Hyssop

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 2:15 pm

If somebody if bothered by you having three kids that’s their problem they need to deal with. That’s a very cute Purim costume idea and you really don’t need to rethink it just because somebody might become upset about you having kids

amother

Snapdragon

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 2:18 pm

amother Smokey wrote:

I don’t personally so many, but there are a fair number. Mostly for white collar/financial crimes/fraud.

amother

Vermilion

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 2:22 pm

No, that's not insensitive. Good for you for trying though, because some ideas are insensitive.

Also, I think giving out a picture of your family dressed up is insensitive, unless you're giving it to your mother or mother-in-law.

amother

Dill

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 2:35 pm

I do think it is important to be sensitive.
In this case, I don’t know how much is weighing on numbers anyhow. I know families who did Goldilocks and one or two bears

amother

↑ Ecru

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 7:23 pm

amother Smokey wrote:

If you're unfortunate to be part of this "community" you know too many...

amother

Bottlebrush

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 7:29 pm

I think I would be sensitive about it.

But I seem to be a lone voice here.
So I’m not saying you shouldn’t do it.